Among others they list science deniers, gay marriage, the Marxist-Nazi-Anti-Christ version of President Obama, and of course the Abstinence Spokesperson.
Under that last one they use the following description:
ABSTINENCE ONLY
What You’ll Need: Long brown hair or a wig; a suit (skirt and jacket) or a professional dancer outfit; name tags; a sharpie; a pillow; a real life or toy baby or toddler; a bottle of Mountain Dew or a bottle of Bleach; condoms; a hole-puncher.
Instructions: Put on a suit or a Dancing with the stars outfit and shove a pillow in it so you look pregnant. Also wear a long brown hair wig. Write Bristol Palin on a name tag and put it on yourself. Write Tripp Palin on a name tag and put it on real or doll baby. Take the condoms out of the wrapper and hole punch through each one in a few places. Then put the condoms in your pocket. Carry around the baby in one hand all night. In the other hand carry the bottle of bleach or Mountain Dew. Offer people sips and explain that abstinence only is the best policy but that if they’re in a jam, they should drink some Mountain Dew so they don’t get pregnant. Take out the hole-punched condoms and explain that those never work.
Now where do we think they got the idea for a Dancing with the Stars outfit with a pillow shoved up into it?
Gee it's almost as if not everybody was fooled by this explanation for Bristol's DWTS weight gain from her book:
"This show actually took my activity level down a notch."
I guess the Palins simply think that EVERYBODY is as stupid as they are.
This whole episode made me damn near have to give up IM/Alaska blogs/Malia Litman. I was so outraged that Bristol got away with saying she was LESS active on DWTS, dancing for eight hours a day, than in her "normal life". Meanwhile you have Olympic gold medal athletes- speed skaters, gymnasts...hall of fame pro bowler NFL guys...Indy 500 winners... ALL say that DWTS training was by FAR the hardest physical training they'd ever undergone.
ReplyDeleteSo effectively Bristol Palin is telling us that her activity level in her everyday life is much more than that of gold medal gymnast Shawn Johnson or gold medal speed skater Apollo Ohno.
And her saying that is flatly offensive to anyone who...breathes oxygen.
@ 4:12 AM...Lying comes so easily to Bristol. She's probably convinced herself that no matter how ridiculous her lies sound they will be considered as truth by her deluded supporters; coming from a good Christian girl as it were.
DeleteUnderstandable, when you look at the company she and her family keep:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/21/joni-ernst-iowa-property_n_6024756.html
DeleteThe problem is that there are just enough people who believe or desperately want to believe everything they say to keep the lying profitable.
DeleteIn all fairness, it was pretty obvious she didn't put much effort into those lethargic dances. The really unbelievable thing is that she claims to have been much more active before the show started.
DeleteIf you want to do Brawlin' Bristol: http://www.fabflychik.com/product/camouflage-high-low-dress
DeleteOften I forget how complicit in the lies Nancy French has been from the beginning. I thought it plausible, for example, that she genuinely believed Bristol was slipped a roofie with her wine cooler and raped in the canvas tent. If Nancy believed the Palins to be sincere Christians and approached her subject in good faith (which would be naive but not unusual for an evangelical), I thought she might be unaware of the lies she was helping perpetuate and promote. In that scenario, I figured at some point she would realize how much being associated with Bristol--not to mention being Bristol's faux-Christian mouthpiece--was fundamentally incompatible with the Christian values she spouts, and she'd quit so she could look at herself in the mirror.
DeleteReading passages like this one reminds me that Nancy has been fully conscious all along that she's peddling bullshit and lies. No one with integrity could write such blatantly dishonest tripe, and only someone who finds truth as malleable as the Palins do would even think up this excuse. (As you mentioned, Nyah, she just insults Shawn Johnson, Apollo Ohno, and every other professional athlete who's been on DWTS. And, of course, Bristol was neither in high school nor playing high school basketball just before she did the show.)
Then again, as 5:26 notes, it's likely that lazy Bristol, whose lack of work ethic showed both in her performance and in the behind-the-scenes clips, did not find the workouts challenging because she wasn't actually doing them.
She's lying AGAIN and it comes as naturally to her as it does to her mother. We know them so well after having followed them for years. Thank you IM!!!! They are both such friggin' idiots! There truly isn't a nice thing I can say about either of them. Zero! Nothing! They are just evil frauds!
DeleteIt took her physical activity "Down a notch"????? From what? Comatose? She's so busted and transparent it isn't even funny. I don't blame Nancy French one bit, women have been used as tools and paid to lie for years. She may fall for the "christian" lie, but even christians call Bristol out.
DeleteDWTS workouts are nothing compared to basketball practice?!? GMAFB, Throatpunch Thelma!
ReplyDeleteThat is one very pregnant basketball mom!!!
ReplyDeleteRJ in BBistan
Darn tootin' it is, RJ!
DeleteWell, Bristol's version of "dancing" - who can forget her strenuous "lying on the floor" routine - probably DIDN'T burn up as many calories as Kirstie Alley's energetic moves. To be fair'n'all.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the Pregnancy hiding Gorilla suit.
DeleteAll she did was lie there and be drug around the dance floor, kinda like the lawn at the party (sans the fresh moose patties), but since no money was exchanged for the second time, she's whining like an unpaid prostitute.
DeleteI love Kathy Griffin..she's not afraid to tell it like it is. AND she's much more beautiful than Bristol can ever hope to be.
ReplyDeleteKathy Griffin's plastic from top to bottom. She's had ten times as much plastic surgery as Bristol has, and she's got a mean, filthy mouth as well. I can't stand either of them.
DeleteI love Kathie Griffith, she never lied about "necessary jaw alignment" and she always tells the truth about everything, including her plastic surgery. That, and she has the balls to walk up to Palin's door and knock while everyone cowered in the corners like roaches when the lights go on.
Deleteexactly. KG never lied about her plastic surgery. She's funny. smart AND beautiful, something Sarah and Bristol can never achieve.
DeleteIt is a riot to watch national news cover the Palin Anchorage Brawl - saw it this morning repeatedly run on ABC! The lying Palin family will never live this down. They played the tape where you hear Bristol whining about her thong dress. They also reported her hitting the host in the face repeatedly.
ReplyDeleteBristol should lose custody of her kid and I hope Levi, his family and attorneys are on this. She is one unfit and messed up mother! That poor kid!
"This show actually took my activity level down a notch."
ReplyDeleteThat's right up there with:
"I didn't show because I had tight abs."
If blatant obvious lies were an Olympic event, this family would be multiple gold medalists.
OT but, the interview with Track and Todd is the funniest shit I've heard in a long time. Track sounds EXACTLY like Ricky from "TrailerParkBoys!" Literally makes me LOL when I hear it!
ReplyDeleteFor that, for the FIRST TIME EVER, I can say "Thank you, Sarah Palin!"
(I love my schadenfreude!)
Also, is Willow calling the police "fucking pigs" at one point? Seriously? Maybe I heard it wrong, but even if it was another word, nice way to address FIRST RESPONDERS, huh?
To paraphrase Bristol: "Fuckin' c**nt fuckin' slut fuck fuck WHERE's my FUCKIN' shit?! Fuckin' they took my fuckin' 300 fuckin' dollar worth fuckin' sunglasses!"
W....T....F....?
Bristol is Nancy French's 'FUCKIN' alter ego, Bwahahahaha. Christians my ass.
DeleteActually, the Palin fans are more stupid than the Palins. Way more.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous6:01 AM
DeleteActually, the Palin fans are more stupid than the Palins. Way more.
***
Yep. The palins lie as they breathe...Willow & Barstool no matter how fucked up they know to go in "poor me I'm a victim mode" and the palin fans believe them...so yes totally agree.
But its getting harder and hard for them to swallow the lies? Don't you think?
I'll never forget the day she quit and multiple c4p at the pond were contemplating suicide! Like lemmings over the cliff.
That is how stupid rolls.
It’s safe to say that students at a Wasilla, Alaska high school weren’t expecting their congressman to talk to them about bull sex at an assembly Tuesday morning.
ReplyDeleteAncient Rep Terrifies Kids With Speech On Bull Sex And Suicide
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/don-young-wasilla-high-school-suicide
Don Young needs to go! He's up for reelection, Alaskans! He is a total asshole, and no longer has clout in the U.S. Congress! The majority back there cannot stand him either! He's done zero governing for a number of years.
DeleteCheck his record. The jerk needs to be put out to pasture!
Boy oh boy, Alaskans surely elect the losers - i.e. Parnell, Palin, Young, Frank and Lisa Murkowski and many in the Alaska Legislature.
Ooh, if "Bristol was pregnant during DWTS" makes it into mainstream awareness, boy are we in for a lot of Palin fun !
ReplyDeletePoor poor fridge, the empire of silence is crumbling !
$300 sunglasses, 17 Passenger H2 Hummer Limousine, and per Track "It's his birthday, okay. So we're at this party in Wasilla. Dude, surprise him with a new truck, new trailer, new wrap on the trailer."
ReplyDeleteHey, they're just like you and me!
Paid for by sarapac....
DeleteComment on Rawstory :
ReplyDelete"For #1: Lobotomy optional and sold separately. Aspirin for between knees sold separately too."
That is delicious. I would add a bottle of "white-out." Industrial size.
ReplyDeleteABC and CNN are covering the audio of the Palin Brawl in Anchorage. It's being run often too! Now, they need to receive this new audio that has everything on it!
ReplyDeleteBoy, all I can say is that the screwed up Palin family will never live this one down. The kid (Levi's) was at the party - confirmed and saw everything - is heard crying! Bristol should lose complete custody of him.
Sarah previously tried to say she was not in attendance at the brawl(caught lying as usual!), but her voice is heard on the audio and you can hear the kids talking to her and calling her Mom!
What a horrible, horrible dysfunctional family raised by such idiots - Sarah and Todd Palin.
What happened to that baby that Bristol seems to be expecting (Bristol in the blue dress)?
ReplyDeleteTraded for the pontoon boat.
DeleteKayla Grace
DeleteMy dear you gained pounds. You looked very porky. That tv show has contestants doing nothing but dancing, to learn all the moves. Activity level down. hahaha
ReplyDeleteYou can certainly tell by the pictures that the cops took of Bristol's legs that now that she's back up to her "regular" notch of activity level that she's way more in shape than any of those low-activity dancer types. I bet that everybody who got to see her drug around in her thong was really impressed by her toned physique. I mean, who wouldn't rather look at Bristol in a thong dress than say, Julianne Hough? That Julianne..............so flabby and out of shape.
ReplyDelete