Texas fourth grader suspended for threatening to magically make a fellow student disappear.

One Ring to rule them all, One ring to find them; One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

A fourth grader in Kermit, Texas was suspended for making “terroristic threats” after allegedly telling a classmate that he had a “magic ring” that could make the boy disappear, the Odessa American reports. 

According to Kermit Elementary School officials, 9-year-old Aiden Steward told a classmate that he possessed a magic ring forged in Mount Doom — a fictional location from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Hobbit and Lord of the Rings series. 

Aiden’s father, Jason, told The Daily News that his family had just watched The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies earlier that week, and that his son “didn’t mean anything” when he told his classmate he was in possession of the “one ring to rule them all.” 

“Kids act out movies that they see. When I watched Superman as a kid, I went outside and tried to fly,” he said. 

“I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” he added. “If he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.” 

Kermit Elementary Principal Roxanne Greer told the Odessa American that she could not comment on the suspension, because “all student stuff is confidential,” but Steward said that she told him that any and all threats to a child’s safety — including magical ones — would be taken seriously by the school.

So to be clear, in Texas guns good, magic bad.

What can actually cause you harm is considered safe, and what can never cause you harm is something to be feared.

I think I just invented the new Texas state motto.