Monday, October 05, 2015

According to one of the Duggars favorite pastors "sex belongs to Christians."

So this guy, John Piper, wrote this bit of brilliance on something called Charisma News: 

We might be tempted to think that, since sex is so sinfully misused and is so universally undermining to the all-satisfying beauty of Christ's holiness, maybe we Christians should have nothing to do with it. 

Paul says the opposite. It is the world that has stolen what belongs to believers. Sex belongs to Christians. Because sex belongs to God. "God created it to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth." If it is used by those who do not believe and know the truth, it is prostituted. They have exchanged the glory of God for images. They have torn sex from its God-appointed place in the orbit of marriage. But they do not know what they are doing. And the price they will pay in this life and the next is incalculable. 

The pleasures of sex are meant for believers. They are designed for their greatest expression by the children of God.

So this might come as some surprise to all of the Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, Pagans, Heathens, Atheists, animals, fish, birds, etc. in the world who apparently have been having unsanctioned by God sex for thousands of years now.

You know it's bad enough that the Christians are trying to take over politics, education, and the definition of morality in this country, but when they start trying to claim dibs on sex, then we are going to have a serious problem.

And if you think that first part was weird get a load of Pastor Piper's definition of sex:

And the pleasures of sex are themselves an overflow of God's own goodness. This pleasure is less than what we will know fully in Him at His right hand. And in it, we taste something of His very exquisiteness.

Yeah you know I have had me a whole lot of sex in my life, much of it probably illegal in some states, but at no time did I ever consider tasting God's "exquisiteness."

And I feel dirty just typing that. Plus I'm not really sure what that is.

Pastor Picked a Peck of Pickled Pipers just so you know is also one of the Duggars favorite Christian bullshit artists. In fact future reality star Jessa Duggar Seewald recently quoted him on her Facebook page.

So I would assume that Piper also provided hot piping preaching to Josh Duggar at one time or another. Which leaves me wondering if incest, child molestation, and paying porn stars for rough sex is also just for Christians.

Because if so, I'm kind of alright with that.


  1. Leland6:32 AM

    Okay, now that is just plain hilarious! Especially if you consider that it seems to be only men who are to experience that joy. I seem to recall hearing all sorts of comments from MALE xtians that women don't experience orgasm! For CENTURIES it was "female WHAT?" (At least, in European minds, anyway.)

    And then you add the fact that according to them, the wife is supposed to lay down for the husband ANY time he wishes. What about when SHE wishes? Oh. That's right. SHE isn't supposed to want sex!

    I sincerely hope fools like this keep flapping their gums and insulting the population with their ignorance. I have to admit I find it embarrassing for them (even though they can't recognize it), but I hope they continue. Their extremism will be their downfall - just as their growing losses of young people in their midst due to their preaching all that hate.

    But thank you, Gryphen. I needed a good laugh!

  2. Anonymous6:45 AM

    Never on a Sunday.

    1. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve become weary of saying; you can’t make this shit up. These idiots, these ignorant fools, sicken me no end. They don’t know god. They don’t know themselves, and their self-delusion appears limitless! They think they OWN belief; that their form of mindcopulation is not only normal but the only way to achieve salvation. I’ve been agnostic all my adult life (I’m 60), and when I see excrement of the bovine like this and other horrid examples I feel pride in the freedom of my mind to use rational, critical thinking. Pardon the pun but, good god – they’re kidding, right?

    2. Anonymous7:21 AM


  3. Balzafiar6:58 AM

    "...but at no time did I ever consider tasting God's "exquisiteness."
    And I feel dirty just typing that. Plus I'm not really sure what that is. "

    You could ask Bristol; she's tasted it many times -- and she swallows.

    1. Give it a's no wonder the Palin's think that this blog suffers from PDS.

      Can't we get through one non-Palin post without mentioning the Wassilabillies?

    2. Anonymous7:44 AM

      Kerry, I'm with you. It's 2015 -- almost 2016, and the Palins are only good for a laugh nowadays, and more and more infrequently. They're the definition of uneducated, unsophisticated-and-proud-of-it hillbillies, who had a megaphone for far too long.

      Now, except for Sarah's pitiful speaking engagements and Bristol's forthcoming second illegitimate child, there's nothing there. Their hypocrisy is overwhelming, but it never changes. Time to move on.

      They've tried reality tv shows, Sarah's own "channel," Fox, etc. Now they're reduced to social media posts to an increasingly small audience. When Sarah no longer can pay the click farms that make her seem popular when she's not, they'll fade into nothingness, except as a punchline.

    3. You know? What the Palins think does not concern me in the least. I admit I was somewhat appalled when I thought it was possible that Sarah might wind up being VP: she's such an ignorant, hostile tool. But even with cheating the repugs could not win with her, and she's been steadily going downhill since then- and too dumb to notice. As for Bristol, she's a cheap little slut, not even capable of graduating high school. If she doesn't take money for it, she does take it out in goods. Seriously, that girl needs a two-bull.

    4. Anonymous8:03 AM

      Agree with staying away from palin punchlines unless the topic is palin. Really, they are a joke and most of the rest of the country, except for the brain-dead fans and us who enjoy a palin fail story every now and again, pays no attention.

      I'm wondering if they get a rise out of seeing their names in print, whether positive or negative.

    5. Anonymous8:33 AM

      The PALIN KKKlan are the Posters for ALL of this SHIT! IT GOes WAY the FUCK BACK decades.That Family IS SIN SEX, BULLYing and MONEY$$$$ In that order!

    6. Anonymous9:44 AM

      Totally agree. Some people have Palin on the brain. No wonder the Palins still think the world revolves around them. For some people it does.

    7. Anonymous10:06 AM

      Thanks Kerry, et al. That remark by Balzafiar was really stupid and uncalled for.

    8. Anonymous10:58 AM

      I want McCain and all the other people who supported and pushed for Palin to be the VPOTUS nom to be taken to task for it.

      As for Bristol, I feel the same way about her as I do about the Duggars. They are hypocritical fame whores who deserve to publicly exposed and denigrated. I'm sick and tired of our reality-tee-vee society and anytime one of these fame whores gets exposed, it's good for the country. Especially when the fame whores spout religious bullshit.

    9. Anonymous11:53 AM

      Ph puhlease. The Palins are fake Christians so if the topic is christians we are free to comment on them.
      It is always about them til we expose them for what the are and aren't

    10. Anonymous1:19 PM

      Kerry, good on you for trying. They just can't help themselves.

    11. Anonymous1:42 PM

      Thank you, Pond Persons, for your hard work commenting this morning.

      Sex is what has brought Sarah Palin down.

      Bristol Palin, by her uncontrollable lust, has brought Sarah Palin down.

      Sarah Palin will never have a place in public life again. America knows who she is, and America dislikes her and wishes she would shut up.

      The religious fundamentalists she tries to court will never forgive her for being such a bad mother. And what will the Palin Cult say when the baby turns out not to be white?

      And all because of SEX - THE SUBJECT OF THIS POST.

    12. Anonymous1:57 PM

      Bristol certainly a piece of work but I am fairly certain sarah will bring her own damn self down without help from anyone.

  4. Anonymous7:04 AM

    Can I get a Right Hand job?

  5. Anonymous7:14 AM

    Pastor Piper preached a peck of poppycock...


    1. Anonymous8:13 AM

      Good one, Mildred!

  6. Anonymous7:18 AM


    "If it is used by those who do not believe and know the truth, it is prostituted."
    -Pastor Piper

    Pastor Piper, is this why Bristol Palin verbally claims to be a Christian?

    If Bristol Palin wasn't a Christian then would all the unmarried sex and pregnancies out of wedlock make her a prostitute?

    That explains everything

  7. Anonymous7:33 AM

    Anonymous 7:04 AM asked

    Can I get a Right Hand job?

    Answer: @7:04 it all depends on if you are right handed.

    If you are lucky and is ambidextrous then you can get a Right Handed or Left Handed hand job or a Right Handed and Left Handed hand job at the same time.

  8. Fundies are unnaturally preoccupied with sex. Like you Gryphen, I too have had my share of sex, sometimes pleasurable sometimes yucky and still I can't think of anything more icky than having a threesome with the jebus. It's bad enough that he gets his kicks watching.

  9. Anonymous7:36 AM

    Is Todd Palin a Christian? Is being a Christian Pimp sanctioned by Pastor Piper and God?

    1. Anonymous8:00 AM

      Maybe that's why Sarah Palin didn't divorce him?

    2. Anonymous11:30 AM

      But, 8:00 am, according to many geniues here at IM including Gryphen, theyve been "divorced for years".

      Who's the bigger joke, palin or im?

    3. Sarah1:56 PM

      Palin for sure, 1000%.

    4. Anonymous1:57 PM


  10. If I were God I'd consign Pastor Piper to Hell.

    1. Anonymous8:12 AM

      consider it done, my child.


    2. Anonymous8:32 AM

      Dear JC,
      Since we have you here, how about some peace on earth, no starving people and a Dem President in 2016?
      And if you find time, I wouldn't mind a cottage on the beach somewhere, please. Thank you.

      Your favorite child,

  11. Anonymous7:50 AM

    If Christian Bristol prayed on her knees and layed hands on Levi, Medal of Honor recipient (sorry I forgot his name) and whoever else she prayed on and laid (sp?) on sanctioned because she's a Christian?

    1. Anonymous8:12 AM

      True that. Whatever happened to MOH once the Palins were out of his life? I thought he planned to become a politician...because nothing says GOP like being a gun-loving, medal winning patriot with PTSD who hooks up with hot chicks.

    2. Anonymous8:36 AM

      MORE LIKE FUCKS DOGS...(That would be SLUT BITCHES)>

    3. Hot chicks??? I guess he was just slumming it with Barstool.

  12. Anonymous7:58 AM

    Yeah, sex belongs to long as it's hetero, in the dark, not nude, missionary position and the woman doesn't like it much. And also if you are a Christian fucking kids, cheating on your spouse, preaching hellfire against gays, while secretly gay, etc. etc.etc. What a bunch of bullshit.

  13. Anonymous7:59 AM

    As for Bristol, she's a cheap little slut, not even capable of graduating high school. If she doesn't take money for it, she does take it out in goods. Seriously, that girl needs a two-bull.

    Take that back Ivyfree! Bristol Palin has been a Christian since her junior high school days.
    Take it back!

    1. Anonymous8:10 AM

      Yeah, we know Bristol has been a sex-loving Christian since junior high. God's question is, where are all the kids?

    2. Anonymous9:26 AM

      Nov. 14, 2007:

      DWTS 2010:

      Where are those 2 babies?

  14. Anonymous8:01 AM

    That just creeps me out, man. They make it sound like God is right there watching and possibly participating and enjoying Christian fornication??!

    With all due respect to his holiness Mr God...

    If I'm going to have a three way, it sure as hell won't be with God.

    1. Anonymous9:03 AM

      Please ask him why, in his wisdom, did he place the Playground right next to the Sewage Disposal Plant?

    2. Leland9:35 AM

      9:03, that is my favorite argument AGAINST the so-called intelligent deign! "Who puts a playground next to a swage plant?"

      I can't remember who was giving that speech containing that line, but I Iaughed for days. The audience simply howled in glee!

    3. Leland10:49 AM

      Sorry, that should obviously read "sewage", not "swage"!

    4. Anonymous11:32 AM

      Leland, get a life. You are so obnoxious.

    5. Anonymous12:16 PM

      Seriously Leland, you laughed at that?

      That is an old, over used, unfunny, eye roll, engineering joke.

      You must not get out much.

    6. Anonymous4:33 PM

      Ignore the children Leland

    7. Anonymous4:44 PM

      I regret to tell you that in my little city the sewage treatment plant is next to a large park and playground. Of course, we are considered "distressed" so there's that.

  15. Anonymous8:08 AM

    Knowing the Palin family history if it is true, Sarah better make sure Piper is a Christian just to be on the safe side since she is a starting high school Freshman.

  16. Chenagrrl8:09 AM

    Wonder what his wife says about this.These are the guys who always fall after their manhood was found in odd places.

  17. Anonymous8:09 AM

    sounds like a lot of their made up BS about sex so they can convince someone to have "sex" with them as a representative of God -- unfortunately too many of them are pedophiles and use all this God-Sex-Love mumbo jumbo as an excuse -- worst bags of skin on the planet (won't even call them human!) -- this preacher is crazy and stupid - but his followers are even dumber ! because they are following him -- he at least has found a way to earn a living conning those dumber then he is (so he may have an IQ point or two above his followers)

  18. A bananaloaf and a black thong for the happy ending8:16 AM

    "And the pleasures of sex are themselves an overflow of God's own goodness. This pleasure is less than what we will know fully in Him at His right hand. And in it, we taste something of His very exquisiteness."

    Pastor Piper needs to meet up with Father George Passias (aka the Banana Loaf Bikini Father):

    " Top Greek Orthodox priest, 67, resigns over the kinky foot-fetish sex tapes he made with 45-year-old parochial school principal

    Father George Passias, 67, a married pastor at St. Spyridon in New York City resigned last week after kinky sex tapes surfaced
    Passias is said to have impregnated the married parochial school principal Ethel Bouzalas, 45, who starred in 'cake sitting' and foot fetish tape
    In one leaked video, Bouzalas sits on a banana bread loaf wrapped in cellophane until it's flat while donning a black thong and high heels
    Passias has referred to Bouzalas as his 'spiritual goddaughter' and baptized her in a bikini "

  19. Anonymous8:22 AM

    Just another willfully ignorant ass hat pretending to speak for some non-existent gawd. Sex belongs to xtians. Jesus christ!!!

    Punish, punish, gonna git you, make you suffer. Threaten, threaten. Scare! Fear! Fear what? Some pansy-assed pussy boy like him? I think not. I'm pretty sure I could drop him with one kick.

    I had these fakes figured out by the time I was 6 or 7. And by the way, nowhere boy, I WILL fuck whoever I want whenever I want. Woman have sex. Women love to have sex. Woman actually ENJOY having sex. Just not with little pervs like you. Is that part of your problem, creepy? While I'm at it, stop lying every time you open your mouth. Maybe if you'd use that tongue for something useful...

    1. Anonymous8:43 AM

      Like tasting 'GOD'S VERY EXQUISITENESS'? wink

  20. Anonymous8:26 AM

    What if I'm an Alaskan but don't live in a Wasilla and I am sexually active, am I going to hell?

    1. Anonymous8:56 AM

      8:26 if are a non practicing Christian exotic model and bffs with a Wasilla Christian resident then you are just fine.

    2. Anonymous9:29 AM

      Did Sarah Palin not notice that her daughter was pregnant here?

      or here?

  21. Anonymous8:41 AM

    Maybe little Joshie Duggar used that line with women and found it wanting. He then turned to prostitutes and porn stars. Was his god a part of a threesome with them?

  22. Anonymous8:49 AM

    Pastor Piper is it okay to be a Human Sperm Bank in Alaska as long as I am a Christian? I'm not a spitter, spitters are for quitters.

  23. Anonymous8:58 AM

    Pastor Piper probably based his assertion on the fact that most people, regardless of religion, scream out "Oh God, Oh God, Yes, Yes, Oh God" during sexy times.

  24. Anonymous11:00 AM

    Kim Davis is a Christian, does she have anything to worry about regarding her Pope story? Its not like she had sex which is forgiven if you are a Christian.

  25. Anonymous11:38 AM

    Duck Dynasty has their opinion, where's Sarah and Bristol Palin's opinions and comments?

    Forgive, Not Forget: ‘Duck Dynasty’ Stars Say Anna Duggar Has The Right To Leave Cheater Josh

    Anna and Josh Duggar recently welcomed their fourth child into the world, but instead of spending the summer celebrating the miracle of life, the familyhas been forced to weather scandal after scandal this summer. Now, their fellow conservative Christian reality stars over at Duck Dynasty are weighing in on Josh and Anna’s marriage, and where the couple goes from here.....

    Missy Robertson told ETonline. “She certainly has that right, because he interrupted their marriage with those affairs, but forgiveness is not really a choice, you know, if you want forgiveness from God.”....

    Jase Robertson agreed, adding, “You can forgive somebody, but that doesn’t mean there’s not consequences for your actions.”....

    More at Radar

    1. Anonymous11:45 AM

      Duck Dynasty needs to back off the Duggars if they choose to remain silent about Todd and Shailey Tripp. Everybody is fair game, no choosing who you side with because they are your friends.

    2. Jaclyn Morales2:47 PM

      Who is Shailey Tripp? And relation to that burning sexpot of the 90s, the one and only Linda Tripp?

  26. Anonymous11:50 AM

    If yhre ever was a master planner, hr had to make orgasms the payoff. Otherwise no one would be interested and there would be no life. Its actually almost insulting.... These stoopid humans will never do this so lets make it feel good.
    If there was a god , thats what he thought of us... Stoopid.

  27. Anonymous12:05 PM

    Pastor Piper? Piper is only starting high school. Does this have anything to do with fundraising?

    1. Anonymous4:06 PM

      How many pickled peppers dod pastor piper pick?

  28. Anonymous2:00 PM

    That Piper dude is an ugly looking little weasel.

  29. Randall2:36 PM

    ...and that's why one yells OH GOD during sex.

  30. Anonymous4:05 PM

    And by extension, pornography and beastiality also belong to christians

  31. Anonymous12:13 AM

    Randall2:36 PM

    ...and that's why one yells OH GOD during sex.


    Randall2:36 not everybody yells OH GOD during sex.
    I'm willing to bet Sarah Palin yells


    ( Those days of sex are long gone. Have you seen Sarah without her makeup on? )

    1. Anonymous5:19 AM

      Barstool probably still hollers



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