Thursday, November 26, 2015

This probably comes a little too late for most of us today, but here is Stephen Colbert imploring us NOT to talk politics during Thanksgiving.

 Courtesy of Raw Story: 

“Please, please — can’t Thanksgiving be the one day of the year when we don’t try and see everything through the lens of politics?” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, there are some things we should see through the lens of politics — for instance, politicians. But (on Thanksgiving), let’s not talk about politics. In the spirit of the first Thanksgiving, hosts just share your food and try not to worry that your guests seem like they’re never going to leave.”

While I understand Colbert's sentiment here, I am afraid that I will not be able to take his advice.

After all this is the one of the few times my family and I will gather together before the 2016 election so of course they will spend much of the evening presenting conspiracy theories, and conservative talking points, that I will then bat down with my superior intellect and command of the facts.

It has become a family tradition that somebody will at some point start a conversation with "Look I know you're a liberal but did you know?" which will be followed by something incredibly ignorant that they saw on Facebook which makes perfect sense if you utilize no critical thinking skills whatsoever.

My job of course is to explain how incredibly stupid that is and what a waste of oxygen they are for believing it, which will then be followed by accusations that I suffer from a superiority complex and look down on everybody. To which I will respond, "Well I wouldn't look down on you if you were not such simple little morons," and then the next thing you know that will all get twisted around to make it seem that I am belittling them.

Which of course I am.

However before the fists start to fly, my mom will announce that dinner is ready, and ask me to please remove my hands from my brother's throat. (She always takes his side!)

I will then carve the turkey, we will fill our plates, and once we have eaten all will be forgiven.

After all simple little morons really cannot think and digest food at the same time.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends. (NONE of whom I believe are "simple little morons.")


  1. Anonymous4:04 PM

    I'm lucky enough that all of my relatives live very far away from Alaska and the holiday season is only celebrated with the two of us and the critters. My partner and I haven't had any family present on any holidays for at least 20 years so the holidays are pleasant, quiet and consumed with the slow process of cooking something incredible on our days off, just for us (and the dogs and cats, of course!)

    1. Anonymous4:23 PM

      I'm lucky that my relatives are also raving lefties :)

  2. Anonymous4:06 PM

    Too late! We've been sickened by Donald Trump already.

  3. Anonymous4:34 PM

    Thankfully, I no longer share my holidays with my Palin earthquakin' sister. Of course, when I did, she always took more than her share. Some things never change.
    Q Sis

  4. Anonymous5:01 PM

    Unfortunately, I am surrounded by far right crszed freaks in my family but this year we somehow miraculously didn't talk politics. I have an in-law (male, age 70) who often likes to mansplain to the younger folks about how black people were so much happier back when slavery was legal. Really. One of these days I may need my fellow IMers to bail me putta jail for attempted murder.

  5. Anonymous5:32 PM


    George Lopez Burns Donald Trump With Hilarious Pre-Thanksgiving Joke

  6. Anonymous6:07 PM

    Let's talk religion instead!

    1. Anonymous6:34 PM

      How about we just drag the TV in the dining room and watch football?

  7. Anonymous6:27 PM

    I think we all have a bit of simple little moron is each and everyone of us. Chump Trump almost makes Cruz look good.
    Attacking the disabled, keepin' it classy. He better watch is ass,
    There are many powers greater than his. Just say'in' another fence climbing at the WH. WTF is going on?

  8. Anonymous7:54 PM

    Your humor is so damned cute, Gryphen! I'm sure your Mother loves you to pieces!

    Happy Thanksgiving - p a s t! (Hope your tummy is full!)

  9. Its so hard to keep your silence when someone whose I.Q. can't possibly break 3 digits, goes into a tirade about how much smarter they are, than President Obama.

    (And how, if someone would just give him a job, and give him a chance, he'd show them.)

    Or those who whine and snivel about how their lives have been destroyed by the Commie Nazi Muslin Atheist who isn't the legitimate President.

    I just HAVE to ask just what ANY world leader has ever done or said, that has had the slightest influence on their completely chickenshit little lives.

    (The usual answer to that question is, "Oh yeah? Well..........yore nuthin but a big fat kaka poo poo head!")

    1. Anonymous9:13 PM

      Best synopsis I've read yet, Roger!

  10. Anonymous10:19 PM

    Earthquake member:
    maria • 5 hours ago

    After all the prep, everyone enjoyed dinner and dessert. I had a captive audience and grabbed the opportunity to also offer some food for thought on politics, national security, jobs and hope for the future.
    What a ghastly time THAT would have been.

  11. Anonymous11:19 PM

    HAH! Watching Stephen Colbert right now....singing "Crazy on You" with $arah and Heart in the inset picture.

  12. Anonymous11:43 PM

    Food is disgusted more easily, and our hearts are put to rest by not bringing up contentious topics. What's the point? Talk about the weather, football, how well Cousin Susie is doing in music and asking for a demonstration. Why look for arguments when you know they're there and no one will wiln?
    Thanksgiving-- when we're thankful we're all together. That's the sum and substance of it.
    Give it all a rest, for goodness sake. No one will win these arguments and all will go away thinking that they've won. An exercise in futility.

  13. Then you will enjoy this.

    The perfect generic right wing stump speech:

  14. Sharon3:11 AM

    I have learned to keep my mouth shut these days. My usual visit to the dog park, which the chats consist of dog stories & local stuff, get political during the campaign seasons. It never ceases to amaze me how these normally intelligent people can be so friggin stupid & ignorant when it comes to Obama. It is like he has total control of everything...there is no congress or senate, every failure belongs to him. The Nazi's would have been proud of Fox as they have truly infiltrated a huge section of this country with their lies & propaganda. I find it impossible to discuss anything...keep my mouth shut and just move away. I went with my daughter yesterday to her best friends open house & luckily everyone got drunk watching football. The best part is that age group (30 ish) still smokes weed and I got wasted. I remind my daughter it takes 2 hits to get higher than drinking for hours & the food tastes even better, no hangover either. Yet liquor causes so many deaths, accidents, shootings, etc will be legal forever. Pot gives u the munchies & makes you silly before you fall asleep, not to mention sex is great....the fight to the death to make it legal.

  15. Anonymous3:21 AM

    I had dinner with my very conservative tea party family. Not one word of politics was uttered. It was a genuinely nice day!


Don't feed the trolls!
It just goes directly to their thighs.