Friday, November 27, 2015

It's Black Friday! Everybody take cover until it blows over!

So it is Black Friday which I will celebrate in my traditional fashion, by not buying one single damn thing today.

Nice try corporate America but if you want me to participate in the shopping equivalent of the Hunger Games you're going to have to offer something a little more tantalizing than 40% off of big screen TV's. (Besides I already have a big screen TV.)

After all I'm a guy, and as a guy this is essentially my caveman like approach to shopping:

"Ugh me need clothes."

Three months later:

"Ugh me still need clothes."

Then another six months after that:

"Ugh me all out of clothes without holes, must go shopping now."

At the store:

"Ugh these clothes next to entrance. Good enough, me buy."

Later at home:

"Ugh hate all of new clothes, me still wear old tattered clothes instead. What's on TV?"

That essentially it, only sometimes it is more primitive.

So you all enjoy your day of allowing big business to manipulate you into acting like animals. I will be right here at home, eating, sleeping, and scratching myself.

You know like an animal, but one who still has money on his credit card.


  1. My husband and I have the privilege of being over-60s now, so the younger members of each of our families are alerted they need amazon wish lists or its gift certificates from us, but we do not battle these insane mobs anymore, even for our own wants. What they want gets shipped to their doors via UPS, and we get to avoid crowds in these gun-crazy times.

    The most 'shopping' I'm doing today is to maybe pull through our local McD's for their great coffee. That's it.

    1. Right there with you, dviaries. The few humans I give "holiday" gifts to know that going to a physical store or shipping items myself is against my pagan religion.

      As for me, he only things I buy in the store now are groceries for me. And the cats and backyard animals. I am especially grateful for Amazon Prime, Zappos and Larrys Beans . . .

      Today will be especially great as I drive anywhere (holiday from work) AND won't spend any money!

  2. "Ugh hate all of new clothes, me still wear old tattered clothes instead. What's on TV?"

    That essentially it, only sometimes it is more primitive.

    I have a torn, long-sleeve winter shirt that my husband has been asking me at least four years, "when are you going to throw that out?" It's got tears in both sleeves and the wrists are now held together with safety pins.

    It's been upgraded by each of us with different new shirts that I think are too good if I'm not leaving the house, not going to be seen, and just sit in front of the pc screen. That old shirt has a power; I put it on and feel warm, secure and cocooned. It has become my proverbial Linus's Blanket and I'll probably keep it till the molecules disintegrate.

    1. Made me smile. When I was in my fifties I realized my dad was still wearing the jacket he had on in the photos of him bringing me home from the hospital when I was born! Mom never could get him to get rid of it.

  3. Sharon2:48 AM

    This is one American ritual I find disgusting. I think the worst part is forcing the employees to work those horrible hours dealing with these crazed people when they would love to have extra time to enjoy at home.

    1. I agree.

      I especially despise employees forced to work on Thanksgiving.

      Thanksgiving was sacred. Until greed set in.

      And it isn't just the stores. If no one went then it wouldn't be profitable and they'd stop doing it. But there is always the lowest element that has to get something for next to nothing and to hell with tradition, honor, reflection, gratitude, giving and family.

      Gotta get that cheap flat screen TV that will quit after a year so they'll have to go buy another next year.

      On Thanksgiving day.

      P¡$$ on them all.

      I will NEVER shop on Thanksgiving Day.

  4. Anonymous3:15 AM

    Only going to lunch at our local cafe and maybe the grocery store. I already finished the other shopping a month ago. No need to buy a bloody thing until birthday season (June around here.)
    We ceased all festivities except for birthdays and some gifts at the end of the year. Life is better, simpler, and no one wants to go back to the rat race of the holiday season. We just sit back and watch the lemmings act like idiots.

  5. Anonymous3:19 AM

    I avoid the stores today. Going hiking with the family instead

  6. We don't get too many deals in Canada and we're all so civil, so it's more like a gray or light brown Friday.

    But from one man to another Gryphen, ya gotta have two TVs. I prefer the second up and to the left but side by side will so in a pinch.

  7. Anonymous3:54 AM

    I am a woman, but I shop much the same way you do!

  8. Anonymous4:03 AM

    It makes me very sad and more than a little sick to see how easily most people are manipulated by the corporations into being such passive consumers.

    What the corporations would really like is to have us chained to our easy chairs in front of a big screen that only shows virtual department stores so that we can consume every waking hour and the corporations won't need to bother with stores or employees.

    And all the stupid greedy people buying shit on Black Friday are the bellwether sheep leading the flock to its death.

    I've been hearing for years that I want 24/7 shopping. Nope, I do not. I won't even shop on Sundays or at night any more. Perhaps that's why some people think I have more hours in my day than they do.

  9. Anonymous5:07 AM

    Love this post!
    Hope you had a great Thanksgiving, Gryph!

  10. Anonymous5:35 AM

    Neighbors of ours live in a hoarder's paradise; their house is crammed full of stuff. Despite this, they map out their shopping plan of where they'll go and what they'll buy, starting when they leave the house the afternoon of Thanksgiving. they feel like they're "winning' by snapping up sales for stuff they don't actually need.

    When I get tired of clothes but they're still perfectly wearable and not going to go out of style (like long-sleeved t-shirts), I put them away for a couple of years and then bring them out again. Voila! "New" clothes. Know what I found? Clothes from 10 - 15 years ago are so much better made and better fabric than what's in stores now.

  11. Anonymous6:08 AM

    In the tradition of NASCAR:

    And now, for the most famous words in retail.....

    Shoppers, start your spending!!!!!

    RJ in BBistan

  12. Anonymous7:12 AM

    The ONLY way to do Black Friday is in front of a computer screen. No need to wade into the crowds, you can still get excellent BF deals online with none of the hassle at all.

    1. That's what I did.

      I had a $100 gift card I was given in April.

      I went through the sweaters, the housewares and finally decided to buy the towels and pillows I had been putting off for five years. All online. And they'll deliver for free.

  13. Anonymous7:26 AM

    The Black Friday Backlash Has Only Just Begun
    Here's how some retailers are pushing back against this terrible Thanksgiving retail tradition.

    REI To Black Friday Shoppers: Go Outside Instead Of Buying Stuff

    The company is closing its retail stores for the day.

    Black Friday Crowds Thin After U.S. Stores Open On Thanksgiving

  14. Anonymous8:21 AM

    Simple solution, Gryph. Shop online for clothes from stores that offer free S&H and free returns. Once you find a place that carries the brands you like and fits the way you want, you've got a store for years to come where you don't have to battle crowds and many send great coupons and notices via email when the sales are coming up, giving you first preference. Or find someone who doesn't mind shopping and who cares enough to do it for you. My husband doesn't go to the stores unless he's buying for me and since I have "wish lists" at most of my favorite stores, it makes it easy for him to order things. No more wasting time looking for a parking place, battling crowds, etc. I've done all my Christmas shopping online for the last 7 years w/o any difficulty. Almost everything was free S & H with returns until the end of January, can't beat it. Good luck, you can do this! Or you could walk around naked all the time? A little cold in Alaska for that.

  15. 20 years ago when shopping because extremely stressful, the crowds were out of control and I just couldn't take it any more, I vowed never to set foot in a shopping mall from Black Friday to Twelfth Night (Jan. 6).

    I do my shopping online or during the year so I am done by Thanksgiving.

    The most I'll do is go to the local drug store after christmas for some half off wrapping paper or cards. I usually buy enough to keep me in stock for years. I still have paper and cards so won't be going this year.

    Now that I'm retired, I may be breaking this vow because the movie theater I go to is in a mall. I'll see what it's like for the matinee during work hours while school is still in session. If it's OK, I'll see one movie a week until school is out. Then no way I'm going until the kiddies go back to school.

    There is nothing that can tempt me to stand in any line for anything, no matter how great the bargain. I spend Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas with my family. I plan ahead.

    Yes, I do have a beloved pair of sweat pants with the cuffs cut off and holes in the knees mended several times. I replaced them but the new pair aren't baggy enough and pull when I squat. I may try again to replace them but it certainly doesn't have to be now.

    I've gotten to the point where I don't even like to shop for groceries. I'm not agoraphobic. I go to the gym and watercolor class. But I hate the searching for a parking place, walking around searching for what I want that they don't have, then leaving after wasting time and gas. I shop a lot more online now. Clothes and shoes being the exception so I just don't buy them unless absolutely necessary. Now that I'm retired, they are a lot less necessary.

  16. Anonymous2:55 PM

    I don't do Black Friday. Haven't since I was kid and that was when my Mom and I would head over to the T.G.&Y. in Alamogordo to look at the Shiny Brite Christmas ornaments. I usually get to have a little plastic Santa, Sleigh and reindeer set and we'd get another one of those little plastic Nativity sets. The fun thing is that I've been able to find them all on eBay!
    Heck, I don't even buy groceries on that day either. I've already got plenty in store before Thanksgiving week, because I hate crowds.
    And I try to stay far away from Malls after Thanksgiving. So far, I've done my shopping via Etsy, etc. Unless it's something I put together/made myself.
    M from MD

    1. amazon Prime is my best friend.

    2. Anonymous3:33 AM

      Alamogordo? Omg! Beautiful scenery and nice people, but not much else..

  17. Anonymous3:56 PM

    Ah, yes,an orgy of spending tons of money on crap that'll get returned, regifted, or donated. I got a newsflash for those who worship at the Malls on this most sacred day. Stores have sales all year round, there's these things called "coupons". The outlets are all rip offs, you can get a better price in the stores, and there's no law against haggling for a better price.
    First on "What I'm Thankful For" every year on Thanksgiving is "My shopping's done, wrapped and tagged..... make more coffee and deal the cards.

  18. I know what you mean , I saw a woman walking out of a store with FOUR laptops , while i was coming home from work, It's weird how much things people buy because they're "cheaper". For me i go shopping maximum twice a year once before summer and once before winter, and that's only if the clothes i have are either too big or too small. While these people buy piles without thinking, i am willing to bet they don't use half this stuff.


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