Thursday, January 07, 2016

So apparently there is fan fiction about the militia standoff in Oregon. Brokeback Mountain style fan fiction.

"Is that a copy of the Constitution in your pocket Ammon, or are you just happy to see me?"
Courtesy of #bundyeroticfanfic on Twitter.

That's really just a sampling and trust me it gets even steamier from there.

You really have to hand it to these militia boys, they certainly know how to inspire Americans and bring attention to their cause.


  1. Anonymous12:15 PM

    Hahaha this is fabulous

  2. Hilarious! Check these yelp reviews out - so funny!

    1. Anonymous12:32 PM

      'As far as wildlife refuges go, it's pretty nice. I did not know that they had actual neanderthals at the sanctuary, but they do! Humanoids, vaguely resembling human beings, with ancient, outdated beliefs live right here out in the open on the refuge. It's amazing! You should go see it for yourself. But take some snacks - there are no snack machines on site.'

      'I had to cancel my planned birding trip here because of reports that this place is now overrun with large, unsightly, unintelligent, mammals determined to bite any non-right-wing-extremist hands that feed them. On a positive note, it is general consensus that this non-native and invasive species will not survive the winter. It is as though the banjos of natural selection strum a little more loudly in the Pacific Northwest.

      If you find yourself unavoidably heading in this direction, you might want to bring ample supplies of falafel and kabsa and steer clear of any toothless creatures bearing extremist manifestos.'

      'This refuge is home to many types of birds and waterfowl and mammals. As of late, there are a couple of new mammalian species to occupy the refuge, the Single Brain Celled Hillbilly GunHumper and the Steen Mountain BundyApe. Both should be approached with caution and, whatever you do, do not throw them any socks or snacks! Please do not feed the animals or attempt to clothe them.'

    2. Anonymous12:49 PM

      Do you think this "loving father" and war hero will ever get around to traveling to Alaska and introduce himself to his daughter he is so excited about?

      So far the only thing he has done is act like a jarhead in a combat zone and throwing a grenade into a room full of people.

      Oh, and asking for privacy.

      What kind of "loving father" lets his lawyer do the talking?

      You despise the jarhead and everything he stands for. He called your daddy Michael Moore a coward and bad mouthed your precious half black President.

      Yet there you sit at your computer for hours on end scarfing virtual popcorn and babbling about Levi and Sunny being tickled pink.

      Why are you dragging them into this?

      The online gossip sheets have no more interest in this story. It's just another story about an immature father acting like a jerk.

      You hate Bristol more than you hate this clumsy jarhead. The enemy of your enemy is your friend.

      Until he isn't anymore....

    3. Hey, moron, wrong thread. Take your obsessions to the proper spot.

    4. 12:49 pm This isn't the C4P.... you ended up at the wrong address HUNY... Seems your seeing eye dog bailed....

    5. Anonymous1:46 PM

      12:49 - are you going to post that same drivel on every thread? Are those your orders?

    6. Baldy y'all! She's REALLY mad that Dakota changed his phone number and she can't reach him...causes he "let's his lawyer do the talking"!

      The stupid bitch doesn't realize that Dakota has outsmarted them and it's only going to take a huge sum of cash to make all this go away!

      Better hope that Arizona house sells fast Baldy! The longer the story is in the news the worse Beefy the Slut looks!

      The Palins really stepped in the biggest stinkiest pile of poo imaginable!

      Go Dakota Go!


    7. Anonymous2:06 PM

      Yes and no

    8. Anonymous3:34 PM

      Go away troll, there are about 5 Bristol Bastard threads in the last 5 days for you to post your drivel on.

      I know the Palins pay you to post, but they obviously don't pay you enough for you to learn how to navigate a blog and post on appropriate threads.

      No big surprise there, I'm sure they hire people just as stupid as they are.

    9. Anonymous5:02 PM

      12:49 you poor thing. Still can't get over the fact that Sadie is beautiful and goes to college, that college-educated Sunny is beautiful, that Levi is taken and they have 2 gorgeous little girls and a good normal family life. So jealous and it's eating you up. Obviously this blog runs your life fueling all your hatred. Dance little troll dance to Gryphen's tune. Like a moth to flame you have no control. Listen to the sound of his voice. You have no control. No control. You will read his every word. Every day. Several times a day. You are under his control. You will find the ad mesmerizing. You will click on it many times a day. You will not be able to stay away from Gryphen's blog. It is the only cure for your jealousy. Your life will revolve around this blog. You have no control. No control.

    10. Anonymous9:31 PM

      Keep repeating those lies, 5:02pm. Nobody believes you.

    11. Anonymous6:14 AM

      9:21. And you must be Nobody? Incoming message.......nobody cares.

    12. Anonymous6:15 AM


  3. Hedgewytch12:21 PM

    Thanks, I needed that LOL moment. And its the perfect way to confront these idiots, with ridicule and humiliation.

  4. Anonymous12:30 PM

    Donald Trump 'Veterans for Trump' co-chair joins Oregon militia standoff

  5. I can hear those Y'allQueda heads exploding from here!

  6. Anonymous12:45 PM

    The Fundamentalist Religious Views That Inspired Ammon Bundy and His Militia to Occupy a Remote Federal Facility in Oregon

    ...To understand the source of the Bundy's self-righteous anger, it's helpful to examine their religious views, which are rooted in a maverick strain of fundamentalism found throughout rural Oregon, Wyoming, Idaho, Colorado, Utah, Arizona, and Nevada. I became intimately familiar with this worldview when I was conducting research for the book Under the Banner of Heaven.

    Occupation, Arson, and Terrorism

  7. Anonymous12:48 PM

    Ammon: We can get together... once in a while, way the hell out in the middle of nowhere, but...
    Jeb: Once in a while? Every four fuckin' years?
    Ammon: If you can't fix it, Jeb, you gotta stand it.
    Jeb: For how long?
    Ammon: For as long as we can ride it. There ain't no reins on this one.
    Hat tip to Brokeback Mountain for actual dialog-with name changes!

  8. Anonymous12:59 PM

    Off Topic -

    Don't have a link but if you Google Puppy Phil Collins or Puppy Playing Drums, prepare to laugh your head off! It's much funnier than anything a certain IM poster writes....waving at GinaM.

    1. 12:59pm....

      "waving at GinaM"

      Waving right backatcha' Bitch!


    2. Anonymous1:48 PM

      Thanks but we don't need help finding humor or puppies. @12:59, your attempts to stalk Gina are sophomoric.

    3. Anonymous2:33 PM

      So thst's what it's come to, eh Pslin trolls? Lets just disparage GinaM, Jsnice, and Gryph every damn thread.

      You're downright pathetic and just as mature as your "royal family," Sorry, dahlings, that Dakota outsmarted you. Which isn't saying much.

    4. Anonymous2:33 PM


    5. Anonymous5:15 PM

      :) +

    6. Anonymous5:47 PM

      No problem. We enjoy Janice's input. Shes one of us. Gina's a Whoot! ;) By degrading our comments you only pour gas on the fire. More Popcorn!!

    7. Anonymous5:54 PM

      Hi gina. we got your back. Cant beat the humor ol' stinky brings to the table.

    8. Anonymous6:00 PM

      To be honest, not a big fan of the style of GinaM or Janice, but I just try to avoid their posts. To each his own and this blog is like any other gathering place. Not everyone has to like everyone else.

    9. Not A Gina Fan9:03 PM

      Love it, 12:59!

    10. @ Not A Gina Fan...looky here everyone!! I got my own personal troll stalker too!!

      *GinaM doing the happy dance*

      As Beefy the Wasilla Town Slut said recently...

      "My life is complete"


    11. Anonymous9:33 PM

      Gina's comments epitomize the term sophmoric. That is a great Vine!

    12. Anonymous11:13 PM

      My all time fave puppy video! Thanks 1259!

    13. 9:30PM...


      You MUST be a dumbass Palin! No wonder you didn't graduate from high school!!


  9. Anonymous1:06 PM

    Now this is how you fight these guys! Brains! Love it!


  10. Anonymous1:23 PM

    Oh I'm dying laughing here on my lunch break. These on top of Sarah's meltdown have really made my day! Some I just read for those of you twitter-challenged:

    "Jason pressed Jed against a rack of "Birds of Oregon" books; his breath was sweet with jerky. Somewhere, an egret cried" #bundyeroticfanfic

    "Remember, the safe word is 'Western Meadowlark'." #bundyeroticfanfic

    Ammon’s blue eyes reflected the dying embers of their campfire, and Jeb knew they’d finally do more than just bare arms. #bundyeroticfanfic

    "I want you to take me like Obama takes our freedoms," Jed whispered. The sound of a Carhartt zipper was his only reply. #bundyeroticfanfic

    Cletus knew what he had to do. He would have to hack his way through Ammon's Oregon trail. #bundyeroticfanfic

    Ammon suddenly realized that this was the big government invasion he was waiting for all along. He held his breath. #bundyeroticfanfic

    Ammon ran a hand through Ryan's hair, then eased him down, whispering "I grant you unlimited grazing rights." #bundyeroticfanfic

    "We didn't plan this, Ammon," Jed panted, frantic they'd stop. "We didn't plan anything, Jed," Ammon sighed.#bundyeroticfanfic

    1. Anonymous1:39 PM

      These are great! Thanks for posting, I needed the laugh!

    2. Anonymous1:47 PM

      Hey fellers, remember, keep it on the " down low" that's just between us guys" wink wink".

    3. Balzafiar3:45 PM

      Those are hilarious!

    4. Anonymous7:34 AM

      I should never read this stuff while I'm at work. I'm laughing so hard the tears are ruining my makeup



  12. Anonymous1:32 PM

    When the Yall-Qaida yeehaw-dists are martyred, they will be rewarded in paradise with 72 cousins.

  13. Anonymous1:34 PM

    Uh oh, trouble at the wildlife refuge! Some are sneaking into town, staying at motels, drowning their problems in alcohol and eating at restaurants!

    Trouble in Oregon as one member of Y'all Qaeda went AWOL and allegedly drank away their donations

    Tearful militant discovers friend drank away donation money: ‘It’s like finding out there is no such thing as Santa’

  14. Meanwhile, Ammon's "bodyguard" aka "Booda"(aptly named for the horrible Buddha tat on his fat belly) has flown the coop...presumably searching for a 24hr Taco Bell or because he was outed for lying about being a war hero.

  15. Anonymous2:01 PM

    What a hoot! Those big bully tweeters are going to make them cry.

    This after those Badass Birdwatchers made them even more paranoid telling them they have them on film poaching.

    Then comes Georgia the rancher telling them to get the hell out of their business and county.

    What a bunch of maroons! Some movie maker needs to jump on this. Comedy of the year. Come on Coen brothers. Do it.

    The poor Less gang, mindless, tasteless, planless, classless, toothless, snackless, penniless etc.

  16. Anonymous2:33 PM

    They are allowed to bring attention to their cause, by police and government officials. How come no one has been arrested, or even an attempt to remove them?
    When blacks took over a city street to protest the murder of unarmed black people, the police brought out the tanks and other tools of over kill for the situation. These white guys get to occupy as long as they want with no police action. Racism within the police, you bet!

    1. Anonymous5:08 PM

      Right now they are being humiliated to death. Hopefully after they leave which I think will be soon, appropriate charges will be filed against them and they will be made examples of.

    2. Anonymous5:30 PM

      They'll get nowhere with this. They'll freeze their balls off,then go home.

    3. Anonymous5:38 PM

      go home ?!? maybe right after they get outta jail .

  17. Anonymous2:44 PM

    OMG! That was hilarious!

  18. Anonymous3:31 PM

    Thanks for posting this! I saw it late last night and was absolutely entranced and stayed up way to late and laughed until I could laugh no more.

  19. Anonymous3:45 PM

    Now this is entertainment!!

  20. Anonymous4:19 PM

    They are certainty somewhat concealed. No one will know how many pat riots were know, be cause the camouflage.
    What a bunch of palinites.

  21. Anonymous4:50 PM

    Now we need a "fifty shades of stupid" bodice ripper, but why scare the birds?

  22. Balzafiar6:20 PM

    One of the funniest punch-lines:

    He swore an oath. But his wife was far away. And Cletus, hard-bodied and willing, was near. Plus, Cletus had Doritos.

  23. Sgt. Preston of the Yukon8:27 PM

    Why is everyone assuming that the snacks they want are of the salty variety?
    Maybe they want Twinkies.

    1. Anonymous6:31 AM

      Hey, that worked for Dan White after he killed Harvey Milk in SF years ago.
      Well, maybe it didn't quite work, but he gave it the old college try.

    2. Anonymous6:40 AM

      Sgt. Preston, apparently they aren't into HoHo's!

  24. Anonymous11:15 PM

    Seems that Gryphen is a big champion for lady homo rights but when it comes to the guys, he'll make fun of them along with everyone else. What a hypocrite!

    1. "lady homo rights"


      Stupid bitches..always telling on themselves!


    2. Anonymous8:05 AM

      lady homo rights.....oh jeebus. Still cackling.

  25. My guy (who doesn't read this blog, but I talk to him about it) has this little gem to contribute: "Let's switch barrels, now!" :-) This is hilarious stuff you just cannot make up!

  26. Anonymous6:02 AM

    Update. Group now says they wont leave til they get what they want. Oh well, its your lives lost. Another Texas,Ruby Ridge? Speaking of Ruby Ridge..when did Palins leave Idaho?


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