Friday, May 27, 2016

Ryan Bundy upset that he cannot wear his magic Mormon underwear or have his guns in jail. Wait, what?

So apparently through his attorney Ryan Bundy wrote up a list, probably in crayon, of his grievances.

Believe it or not jail is not the theme park atmosphere that the Bundy boys were hoping for and Ryan for one is having a series of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.

According to the complaint: 

“My rights are being violated. My right to life is being violated. All of my First Amendment rights are being violated. My right to freedom of religion is being violated. I cannot participate in religious activities and temple covenants, and wear religious garments (Magic Mormon underwear.). I could wear them at Henderson, but MCDC is depriving me of the right to wear them. My right to freedom of speech is being hampered by monitoring and recording. My right to freedom of assembly is being violated; I am not allowed to see my brother and move about.

Can you believe it?

It's almost as if Bundy gave up a bunch of rights by breaking the law or something.

And here's the kicker:

My Second Amendment rights are being violated. I never waived that right.

Well that is the last straw my friends. After all what is a man like Ryan Bundy without his metal penis extenders?

Less than man, that's what!

Damn this actually needs its own category for stupidity.

(H/T to Wonkette.)


  1. Lawyers are paid to grasp at their client's straws, which are all over the board here, as far out as they come.

    This Bundy garners a few brownie points for his tragic disfigurement--Bell's palsy? Being hit upside the head one time too many?

    Confederacy of dunces, western-style.

    1. Anonymous2:35 AM

      Jude; the disfigurement comes from having his head run over as a child. The Mormons are a breeder cult, but once the kids are born, screw 'em, they can fend for themselves. You can see the kind of ignorant, terrified, paranoid little wusses it breeds.

    2. Anonymous3:12 AM

      He was hit by a car when he was seven.

    3. Anonymous3:55 AM

      His head was run over by a car tire when he was seven years old.

      No brownie points for being a dumb kid.

  2. Anonymous2:40 AM

    No brownie points here. Rumor is he was run over by a truck as a lad, parents didn't bother to fix it. He's got a major chip of entitlement on his shoulder.

  3. Anonymous2:56 AM

    Too bad. Sorry but coke/trump should have paid off the constitutional law breakers mo $ to attempt this political media scam. Boxes of dildos were not enough, shitting on artifacts was only the icing. Seems the political genius is losing the ability to lie effectively. The trump political Trojan horsey and the constitutional posses evil clowns. LOL are they transparent or what?

  4. Anonymous3:11 AM

    How much did the Koch bros pay the bundies to make assholes and criminals out of themselves? What was the name of that political marketing firm again? Does it start with an "A" and that political legal teabag oath? and the pledge, and those short magic fingers. Oh frack. Get out get them out. Oh the joy of watching liars and con artist make shit up and trump will pay yer legal fee. lol

  5. Anonymous3:31 AM

    They don't call it The Gray Bar Hilton for nothing, Ryan. They're holed up across the street from where I work, and I take personal satisfaction that they don't come up for trial until September. I hope it's a nice, looooong summer for 'em.

    Actions have consequences.

  6. Anonymous4:18 AM

    Ryan Bundy is acting pro se--he has a stand-by counsel, but is acting as his own lawyer.

    Ryan Bundy was run over by his own father (Cliven Bundy) when he was young. Cliven didn't know he'd hit the kid, and essentially ground Ryan's head into the dirt, damaging the nerve. Please don't mock Ryan Bundy for his facial disfigurement--but feel free to mock him for being a nut job.

    Archie Butt

  7. Anonymous4:30 AM

    Wait. You mean prisoners in the US cannot be armed? How will they ever protect themselves against their toddlers when they come to visit?

    1. Anonymous5:45 AM

      Him being a dumbass and his facial disfigurement have a spurious relationship. They were both caused by his father.

  8. Anonymous4:33 AM

    I read that as a child he was run over by the wheels of a truck.

  9. Our Lad4:40 AM

    Ignatius T. Reilly : The Gulag Years by John Kennedy Toole

  10. Anonymous4:51 AM

    The deal with his face (and I swear I am not making this up) is that as a seven year old child, he got hit by a car and then the vehicle got stuck on his *head*, wheels spinning, trying to get off. Nerve damage was the end result.

  11. Anonymous5:20 AM

    Welcome to the Hotel California, where you check out any time you like...but can never leave.

  12. Anonymous6:05 AM

    Probly complaining about the food, too.

    1. Anonymous9:20 AM

      I read where they WERE complaining about the food, & that they and their wives claim the Bundyfundies have lost soooo much weight....cue violins here. However, the prison records don't reflect this at all. These idiots have GAINED weight while incarcerated and all the while are complaining about how awful and bland the food is.

      Not going to get to submit that wish list like ya did in malheur? Waaaaah, no french vanilla coffee creamer or warm socks gonna reach you in the Pokey, mormon morons. Hopefully another bag of dicks will!

    2. Anonymous9:36 AM

      Wait--how awful and bland the food is? Have you ever seen Mormon chow? Kool-aid and jello with mayo in it!

  13. Anonymous6:49 AM

    Wow. Guy needs a law workshop, where someone explains law-break law-lose freedom to exercise civil rights. There's a natural progression there the rest of us know all about.

  14. Anonymous7:03 AM

    I heard a piece on NPR with Finicum's widow. Poor thing, grieving her husband. Hey that's fair, he was her husband. Then she repeats the non-sensical argument about the government taking away their livelihood!! And she might even go to jail!! BOO HOO.

    They are a bunch of moochers! They graze their cattle without paying while the rest of us tax paying Patriots foot the bill!! I bet they get food stamps, WIC, SSI, Medicaid etc,.. without batting an eye! I say put them all in jail!! If patriotic taxpayers are going to pay, then let them stay at "The Gray Bar Hilton" (thanks Anon 3:31!).

    1. Anonymous7:28 AM

      Finicum is not dead. He was a mole working with the Feds and the "shoot out" was staged. Currently he's in witness protection with a new identity.

      Look into it--he had to turn states evidence because of financial troubles.

    2. Anonymous9:21 AM

      Wow, @7:28. haven't heard that one. I think I'll look into that before I buy into it

  15. Anonymous8:18 AM

    Send the whole bunch of those terrorists to terrorist prison (GITMO)and see how they like it there.

  16. O/T
    A man was found not criminally responsible for stabbing 5 friends to death in Calgary Alberta. 5 Minutes before getting to the party he was heard saying that "Obama is the anti-Christ"

    Now I wonder where he would be exposed to talk like that? Heavy Metal music? Violent video games perhaps? Or somewhere darker, like where lunatics gather to listen Alex Jones or Beck or some nasty talk radio!

  17. Anonymous8:24 AM

    Thank you for the explanation. I had to think he made that face on purpose, because, Bristol always making goofy faces.

  18. WA Skeptic8:45 AM

    Now now--it isn't polite to mock the mentally disabled.

  19. Anita Winecooler5:17 PM

    Now that's the face of a man with one testicle in a vice grip, isn't having tools illegal, also, too, in prison? He's being persecuted because he can't wear temple undies? Um, the last place one wants to look different from everyone else is in prison.
    Don't like the time? Don't do the crime.
    I'm so happy to be free to see my brother and move about. LMAO


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