Thanks to Trump's pal Alex Jones NASA needs to literally issue a statement debunking the idea that they have a colony of kidnapped child sex slaves on Mars.

Courtesy of the Daily Beast:  

A report on Alex Jones’ InfoWars claiming child sex slaves have been kidnapped and shipped to Mars is untrue, NASA told The Daily Beast on Thursday. “There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars. 

There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are,” Guy Webster, a spokesperson for Mars exploration at NASA, told The Daily Beast. “But there are no humans.” 

On Thursday’s program, the InfoWars host welcomed guest Robert David Steele onto The Alex Jones Show, which airs on 118 radio stations nationwide, to talk about kidnapped children he said have been sent on a two-decade mission to space. 

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” said Steele. “So that once they get to Mars they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”

“Look, I know that 90 percent of the NASA missions are secret and I’ve been told by high level NASA engineers that you have no idea. There is so much stuff going on,” Jones said.

I know what you're thinking, "No way Gryph, that is even too crazy for Alex Jones."

But then there 's video.

 Thought I was fucking with you, didn't you?

Just in case you could not get all the way through that (And seriously who could blame you?), I should tell you that this Guy Webster dude also said this: 

Steele alleged the kidnapped children were not only being kidnapped for space labor, but also murdered for their blood and bone marrow. 

"Pedophilia does not stop with sodomizing children,” said Steele. “It goes straight into terrorizing them to adrenalize their blood and then murdering them. It also includes murdering them so that they can have their bone marrow harvested as well as body parts.”

“This is the original growth hormone,” said Jones.

I should point something that many of you may have already noticed, and that is that obviously if it takes 20 years to travel from here to Mars, on ships that we do not yet have the technology to build, that the humans landing there could hardly still be considered children, which kind of undermines this whole pedophilia harvesting their blood conspiracy theory.

Of course it goes without saying that it is certainly not the only illogical part of this bizarre claim.

And please keep in mind that Alex Jones is the man about whom Donald Trump once made the following statement: 

“Your reputation is amazing. I will not let you down.”

And THAT is why NASA felt compelled to issue a statement about a batshit crazy conspiracy theory that nobody with two brain cells to rub together could ever possibly believe.

I should probably note that NASA does indeed have plans to one day send people to Mars, and is even running experiments right now to prepare for that eventuality.

However there is no talk of pedophilia, slavery, or Alex Jones connected to any of it.