Holy crap! Now they're coming right into our houses!

Sure, he looks adorable. But then all of the screaming and flesh tearing starts.

Courtesy of Alaska Dispatch:

Eleven-year-old Zach Landis will never forget the sound of a black bear bursting through the double-paned window of his bedroom late Monday.Zach said he shot upright when he woke to the crash. He saw a figure the size of a grown man in his room. In the darkness and clamor, he struggled to make out what was near the foot of his bed. He watched it scratch at the walls and climb back through the window from which it entered before he could let out a scream and figure out what he had just witnessed — a bear crashing in and out of his garden-level bedroom. 

The boy ran so fast from his room that he slipped twice on his way upstairs. His parents, Alisa and Jon Landis, were asleep when their alarmed son woke them. 

"I said, 'Mom, Dad, there's a bear in my room,' " Zach recalled.

"My first reaction was, 'You must be having a bad dream,' " said his mother. The story seemed implausible.

Well in fact it was plausible, a black bear DID in fact perpetrate a home invasion into Zach's room.

Now there have been a few stories like this up here in Alaska over the years, though they are quite rare, but this one comes on the heels of two bear fatalities, and a number of attacks.

And this is especially concerning since the Landis family lives literally just up the road from my house, and guess who has a sliding glass door leading to the backyard from their bedroom. 

Now look I have started taking all of the appropriate precautions when hiking in the national park near my house.

I walk on open, well traveled trails only.

I make sure to hike with a partner.

I make lots of noise while hiking.

And I keep an eye out for any sign of bear activity near the trails.

However I am in no way prepared for a bear actually jumping through my window in the middle of the night.

I mean sure I do have a samurai sward near the bed, but somehow I do not feel that is adequate.

So I think we should establish some damn rules with our ursine neighbors.

I will not get between you and your cubs, or disturb you while you are eating a tourist, if you will stay the hell out of our bedrooms at night.

Seems fair, don't you think?