The Mormons have some words for you concerning self abuse. You know who you are.

Here are the guidelines contained in a pamphlet entitled "Steps in overcoming Masturbation."  provided courtesy of the United Humanists: 

A Guide to Self-Control 

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company. (Ah so that's why Mormons are always found in groups.)
   
2. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, you must break off their friendship. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things. 
3. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress and then get out of the bathroom into a room where you will have some member of your family present. (That explains why the Mormons have such small water bills.)
   
4. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. (Aha! THAT'S where the magic underwear comes in!) By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.
5. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you get your mind on something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak. 
6. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act. 
7. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. (Yeah like wondering what that cute girl in science class is doing right now. Wait....) Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethren. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture (Yep nothing sexual in that book, right?), preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities. 
8. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, but keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever -- not in conversation with others, not in your prayers. keep it out of your mind!

You know having personally known quite a few Mormons in my day, I would suggest that many of them would really benefit from a little "intimate part" touching.

If you get my drift.

Personally I think that any religion which spends this much time concerned about how people touch themselves in private is a religion that cares less about your immortal soul, and more about how much control they can exert over your lives.

The Catholic Church's guidelines for newly appointed Bishops is that it is "not necessarily" their duty to report child sexual abuse.

Courtesy of the Guardian:  

The Catholic church is telling newly appointed bishops that it is “not necessarily” their duty to report accusations of clerical child abuse and that only victims or their families should make the decision to report abuse to police. 

A document that spells out how senior clergy members ought to deal with allegations of abuse, which was recently released by the Vatican, emphasised that, though they must be aware of local laws, bishops’ only duty was to address such allegations internally. 

“According to the state of civil laws of each country where reporting is obligatory, it is not necessarily the duty of the bishop to report suspects to authorities, the police or state prosecutors in the moment when they are made aware of crimes or sinful deeds,” the training document states. 

The training guidelines were written by a controversial French monsignor and psychotherapist, Tony Anatrella, who serves as a consultant to the Pontifical Council for the Family. The Vatican released the guidelines – which are part of a broader training programme for newly named bishops – at a press conference earlier this month and is now seeking feedback.

Oh, well I have some feedback for the Catholic church.

Fuck you!

In my current job, and many of the jobs I have had in the past, I am mandated to report ALL instances of child abuse, sexual or otherwise, that I might witness, hear about, or suspect.

The reason for that is because I work with children, and work with others who work with children.

However in my opinion ALL adults should consider themselves mandated to report child abuse, because WE are the ones who children relay on to keep them safe.

That is our job. Period!

So my question is the following. How does an organization which advertises itself as being the very foundation for morality justify allowing children to be victimized while they stand by and do nothing?

Just a reminder that the tenets of the Satanic Temple are far more instructive and moral than the Ten Commandments.

There are seven fundamental tenets. 

• One should strive to act with compassion and empathy towards all creatures in accordance with reason. 
• The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. 
• One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. 
• The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo your own. 
• Beliefs should conform to our best scientific understanding of the world. We should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit our beliefs. 
• People are fallible. If we make a mistake, we should do our best to rectify it and resolve any harm that may have been caused. 
• Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word

By now I'm sure that most of you realize that the Satanic Temple really has very little to do with Satan, and actually exists mostly to troll Christians.

I actually enjoy much of their work, and I might think about joining them if I were not already dedicated to repairing the reputation of Atheists instead.

Sarah Palin takes to Facebook to attack President Obama for trying to protect our children. I wish I was joking.

"If Obama is for it, I have to hate it! Them's the rules!"

Courtesy of the Lunatic on Lake Lucille's ghostwritten  Facebook page:  

The Obama Administration is working on regulations that would prevent children from working on our own family farms. This is more overreach of the federal government with many negative consequences. And if you think the government’s new regs will stop at family farms, think again. 

My family is a commercial fishing family, and commercial fishing in Alaska is much like the family farm (but the year 'round farmers no doubt work harder than we do!). I guarantee fishing families wouldn’t stand for this nonsensical intrusion into our lives and livelihoods, and, as a former 4-H member, I don’t believe farm families will either. Our kids learn to work and to help feed America on our nation’s farms, and out on the water. 

Federal government: get your own house in order and stop interfering in ours.

 - Sarah Palin

It always amazes me that EVEN with RAM helping her to write her own Facebook page (Something that "rill" Americans would never even consider), Palin STILL manages to step in a big pile of manure virtually every time she posts.

First off there is absolutely NO correlation between farming and commercial fishing. None.

This is perhaps one of the most ridiculous comparisons that Palin has ever had her ghostwriters make on her behalf, right up there with calling her an "energy expert" or comparing bloggers and journalists bringing up her crosshair map after the Giffords shooting to a "blood libel."

Now the other glaring problem with this is that Palin/RAM is completely mistaken about what the law says. (I know, surprising right?)

Now the original proposed regulations written back in September 2011 (Kinda late aren't you Palin?) WERE being interpreted by some as saying that the children of farmers would not be allowed to run farm equipment until age 16:

The worry is that it might jeopardize the ability of brothers and sisters or cousins who jointly operate a farm through a business partnership to have any of their children work for it.

Now this was really NEVER a problem, but some farming interest groups and the Senators that represent states which rely heavily on agriculture, demanded that the bill be changed.

And in response to their concerns it was: 

The U.S. Department of Labor (USDOL)’s Wage and Hour Division owing to pressure from farm groups has recently decided to re-propose ‘parental exemption’ for child labour engaged in agriculture in the U.S. The parental exemption allows children of any age who are employed by their parent, or a person standing in the place of a parent, to perform any job on a farm owned or operated by their parent or such person standing in the place of a parent. The rule of parental exemption was first introduced in 1966 by the Congress when protection was expanded for children employed in agriculture and prohibited their employment in jobs that the USDOL declared hazardous for children below the age of 16 years to perform. (By the way this change was made back in March 2012.)


So there you have it, children working on their family farms are exempt from this rule and other youngsters are now protected from possible harm on the job.

So exactly what the hell is Palin bitching about?

Now here's the other thing.  These proposals were NOT put in place to expand "government overreach" or as a "nonsensical intrusion into our lives and livelihoods." These proposals were made for a VERY specific reason.

This according to a report published in US News:

Almost 27,000 children are injured on farms in the United States each year, and many require hospitalization, according to a new study. 

Many of these serious, sometimes fatal, injuries are caused by agricultural industrial hazards, such as falls from tractors or machinery accidents, the researchers report. 

Of about 26,650 kids ages 19 and under injured annually, 14 percent were hospitalized, and 84 died on average each year. By comparison, just over 1 percent of non-farm-related children's injuries warrant hospital care, the study said. 

"These injuries cost society an estimated $1.4 billion per year in 2005 dollars," Zaloshnja said. "Work-related injuries annually cost $347 million or 24.4 percent of the total cost."

In other words, the Obama administration was only trying to tighten up guidelines to protect our nation's children. Of course in Sarah Palin's words this is just another example of President Obama demonstrating his hate for America.

However the proposals are designed to protect the children who will be the future of America, so my question to Sarah Palin is "Why do you hate our children?"