The National Enquirer claims that Ted Cruz has had five secret mistresses. Seriously? Update!

Courtesy of the National Enquirer:

Presidential candidate Ted Cruz is trying to survive an explosive “dirt file” on the finger-wagging conservative senator! 

And the new issue of The National ENQUIRER — on newsstands now — reveals how the reports say the staunch Republican is hiding FIVE different mistresses!

“Private detectives are digging into at least five affairs Ted Cruz supposedly had,” claimed a Washington insider. 

“The leaked details are an attempt to destroy what’s left of his White House campaign!” 

The ENQUIRER reports that Cruz’s claimed mistresses include a foxy political consultant and a high-placed D.C. attorney!

This story was quickly picked up other news outlets, mostly conservative, who started filling in the pieces.

Courtesy of the Conservative Treehouse:  

Firstly, they post pictures of the collective mistresses. NE would never legally “go there” if they did not hold a very reasonable certainty the outlined players were factually part of the story. 

Secondly, there’s at least one face in the group that is easily identifiable. 

When you accept the NE editorial/legal requirement for research and attributed comment prior to publication, you recognize there is more than a strong probability each of the outlined group (pictured) was contacted prior to publication; and one of those is very close to the Donald Trump campaign. Ergo, it’s entirely likely presidential candidate Donald Trump knew this story was coming out.

Then there was this tweet from a Washington Times columnist:

COMING CLEAN: From what I know, at least 2 of the women named as Cruz mistresses by the National Enquirer are accurate #TRUMP #CRUZ #TCOT

— Drew Johnson (@Drews_Views) March 25, 2016

Personally I am not at all surprised that slimy Ted Cruz is a hypocrite who cheats on his wife, I am only surprised that there are five other women in the world who can look at that face and not vomit all over themselves.

And just when you thought this 2016 campaign could not get any sleazier.

P.S. By the way the scandal already has its own hashtag.  Of course.

Update: Ted Cruz calls the Enquirer story "garbage."

I want to be crystal clear: these attacks are garbage. For Donald J. Trump to enlist his friends at the National...
Posted by Ted Cruz on Friday, March 25, 2016

But then again how would we expect him to respond?

In other news a Trump supporter confronted one of the women named, Amanda Carpenter, during a CNN broadcast.

I have no idea of this report is factual or not, but the real story here is that this is how Donald Trump engages in politics, and I will assume that he will continue in this vein well into the general election, if the Republicans don't have him taken out first.

Update 2: Donald Trump responds to the Ted Cruz mistress:  

I have no idea whether or not the cover story about Ted Cruz in this week’s issue of the National Enquirer is true or not, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it, did not know about it, and have not, as yet, read it. 

Likewise, I have nothing to do with the National Enquirer and unlike Lyin’ Ted Cruz I do not surround myself with political hacks and henchman and then pretend total innocence. Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz. 

I look forward to spending the week in Wisconsin, winning the Republican nomination and ultimately the Presidency in order to Make America Great Again. 

- Donald J. Trump

Did you catch the part about the National Enquirer's past track record on stories of this type?

So subtle.

When Republican Senator David Vitter found out that the former prostitute he was having an affair with was pregnant he did what any pro-life hypocrite would do, he asked her to get an abortion.

"I am100% pro-life. Unless my mistress gets knocked up of course."

Courtesy of Best of New Orleans: 

Now we know why David Vitter avoided so many live TV debates, why he wanted forum questions in advance, why he ducked the media after the two TV debates he did attend — and most of all, why he has never answered questions about the specifics of the “serious sin” to which he allegedly confessed in July 2007. 

According to investigative blogger Jason Brad Berry (www.americanzombie.com), Vitter had a nearly three-year sexual relationship with a woman he first met through a New Orleans escort service in 1998. In 2000, she told him she was pregnant. His first reaction, according to the woman, was to deny paternity. The next words out of the mouth of the man who proudly claims he has a “100 percent pro-life” record: Get an abortion. 

She did not. Instead, she put the child up for adoption. 

There’s the real irony: If the woman is telling the truth — and she certainly comes across as sincere in Berry’s videotaped interview with her — the “prostitute” that Vitter impregnated is clearly more “pro-life” than the senator.

Cannot say that this is in anyway surprising. These pro-life assholes always change their tune when the potential baby threatens to change THEIR life or damage THEIR reputation.

Of course we already know what kind of a scumbag Vitter is based on the fact that he frequently visited prostitutes and had a diaper fetish.

Currently Vitter is running to be the governor of Louisiana.

I would like to say that there is no way he can win in the face of these allegations, but since his past daliances with prostitutes did not seem to significantly damage his political aspirations, all bets are off. 

Update: Okay well apparently that link to Best of new Orleans is no longer working. You can also get the story here at Raw Story. They even have video of the ex-mistress making the remarks.