Nancy French, a woman who once wrote a lurid lie about date rape in a tent, becomes offended by illustrations of consensual sex in a bookstore. Oh the horror!

Courtesy of The Tennessean:

Author Nancy French was steering her three children down Books-A-Million’s military history aisle last week when she saw something that made her freeze. 

There, on a shelf labeled “Sexuality,” was the book 365 Sex Positions, with a cover photo featuring a nude couple demonstrating one of those. She told the kids — ages 13, 11 and 4 — to turn around. And then she told store employees what she thought about that display. 

“I love Books-A-Million. They have done book events for me,” Nancy French said. “I don’t want to boycott Books-A-Million. You want to support brick-and-mortar bookstores. But at what cost? Your kids’ innocence?”

You know MOST parents would recognize this as a "teachable moment," and take the opportunity to explain to their children something about sex, about morality, and about the possible consequences of engaging in sexual behaviors too young or without adequate protection.

Oh, I'm sorry I was thinking about reasonable parents, NOT super fundamentalist hypocritical puritans like Nancy French.

You remember Nancy French right? She is the one who wrote THIS on behalf of Bristol Palin in her book "Not Afraid to Lie," or something like that.

(Pg. 2) Bristol proceeds to down wine cooler after wine cooler, as she “slowly surrendered to their woozy charms.” (Pg. 3) Levi keeps replacing her finished wine coolers with new ones, and soon Bristol hits “that awful wall” that takes her from a “happy buzz” into “the dark abyss of drunkenness.” (Pg. 3) The last thing she remembers is sitting by the fire and laughing with friends, and doesn’t remember waking up in her tent the next morning “with something obviously askew.” 

Bristol awakens in her tent, with no recollection of the night before. She looks over and sees Levi’s empty sleeping bag right beside hers, and hears Levi and his friends “outside the tent laughing.” (Pg. 3) Bristol quickly texts her friend to get over to the tent, and she immediately pops over and tells her, “You definitely had sex with Levi.” (Pg. 4) Despite being brought up in a Christian household determined to save herself until marriage, Bristol laments the fact that her virginity had been “stolen,” and as she surveys the evidence in the tent, soon realizes that “all of my plans, my promises, and my moral standards had disappeared in one awful night in a series of bad decisions.” Bristol also regrets that Levi wasn’t even there to comfort her, and instead of waking up in his arms—like they do in the movies—she came to “in a cold tent alone as he talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas.” 

Personally I find this lie about date rape MUCH more creepy and off putting than seeing a poster advertising the unforgettable nature of good cunnilingus.

Nancy French allowing her children to "pal around" with a homophobic cult member.

I know that French is trying to protect her children from learning anything which might make them question their faith, or expand their minds, or bring any joy into their lives, by keeping them in a hermetically sealed home school environment. But just because she has ill prepared her children for the real world, does NOT mean she has the right to force a book store to take down advertisement for books that people might actually want to read (Unlike a certain crappy book of lies that I might mention), just because she is too sexually repressed and tightly wound to take the time to explain human sexuality to her children.

After all there are SOME people in this world who are not terrified of sex, or feel the need to only describe it as a frightening experience which takes place in a damp tent in the woods after succumbing to alcohol poisoning.