Former vice presidential candidate and Republican luminary Sarah Palin has signed a deal with the Tribune Co. to write a weekly column for eight of the media conglomerate's marquis newspapers. The syndicated feature, tentatively titled Palin Weighs In, will provide the ex-Alaska governor's take on a variety of topics.
"Well, I have a lot of very important things to say about a lot of very important things," Palin told CAP News as she took down a trophy bull moose in her back yard with one round from a .300 Winchester. "And it's important that I get my message out there so people understand I'm more than just a hockey mom who can drop a swamp donkey with her boom stick at a hundred yards."
According to Tribune officials, Palin's column will appear in both the print and online versions of the company's newspapers and in some instances will replace long-running columns due to space constraints. Tribune CEO Samuel Zell said they hope Palin's star power will be "a shot in the arm" for the flailing newspaper industry.
"Either that or it'll be a nail in the coffin," noted Zell. "Our market research team is still trying to figure that one out."
By this time I hope that you have realized how seriously you should take this, but if not this last portion should make everything clear.
"You know, you don't oversee the building of the Alaska Pipeline without learning a thing or two," Palin said as she filleted half-a-dozen largemouth bass. "Once people read what I have to write, they'll realize I'm more than just a hockey mom with a great set of pucks.
"I'm also a syndicated columnist for a whole bunch of newspapers I've never read and some I've never even heard of!" Palin added.
Nicely done. I found myself actually laughing out loud a few times while reading this article.
I left out a few of the pieces to save space, but I encourage you to click the title and read it in its entirety.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
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He, he...this site is fab..I know this is satire, but what makes is extra funny is that you can really imagine Sarah having these grandiose ideas about herself. Very on point with just the right amount of crazy...shooting targets while filleting bass.
ReplyDeleteA hockey mom with a nice set of pucks...awesome
I think that Sarkozy wrote this piece after talking to Sarah.
ReplyDeleteBoy, that is funny! It's true, ya know, she does have a lot of stuff to say about a lot of stuff. Absolutely, you betcha!
ReplyDeleteThe only problem is, once you wade through the mangled english syntax, made up stuff, reciting of the Litany of the Children's Names, plugs for Special! Needs!, pandering to military families, awkward folksy Alaskan metaphors, and whining, there's nothing left.
LOL! "she took down a prize bull moose in her backyard with a .300 Winchester" and "she filleted several large-mouth bass"... dead giveaway sign of the Onion.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to read this!!!he he
ReplyDeleteDon't you fail us...wink wink...
Who is going to write the column for her? She isn't capable of it.
ReplyDeleteSarah Palin Records Demo For Radio Show:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n7afnLCQVI
she is the ultimate media whore.
ReplyDeleteTo tell you the truth, although I realize this was a joke, being a print talking head would be a better deal for her than a talking-talking head, because *she could hire somebody to write the things for her*.
ReplyDelete