The battle that has heretofore played out in the parking lot of George's strip club - the Foxhole, a run-down, garage-like building at a Coshocton County crossroads called Newcastle - has shifted 7 miles east to Church Street.
Every weekend for the last four years, Dunfee and members of his ministry have stood watch over George's joint, taking up residence in the right of way with signs, video cameras and bullhorns in hand. They videotape customers' license plates and post them online, and they try to save the souls of anyone who comes and goes.
Now, the dancers have turned the tables, so to speak. Fed up with the tactics of Dunfee and his flock, they say they have finally accepted his constant invitation to come to church.
It's just that they've come wearing see-through shorts and toting Super Soakers.
They bring lawn chairs and - yesterday, anyway - grilled hamburgers, Monster energy drinks and corn on the cob.
They sat in front of the church and waved at passing cars but largely ignored the congregation behind them.
Likewise, the churchgoers largely ignored the dancers. Except for Stan Braxton. He stopped and held hands with Lola, a 42-year-old dancer who made $200 on her Saturday night shift, and prayed for her salvation.
Lola, who wouldn't give her last name, said she was grateful for Braxton's prayers and his time.
The women don't come here, after all, without their own version of religion. They bring signs with Scriptures written in neon colors:
Matthew 7:15: Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing
Revelations 22:11: He that is unjust, let him be unjust still
You know considering how much churches and strip clubs have in common, it is kind of surprising that they cannot find a way to co-exist.
After all they both have audiences of men looking expectantly up at the stage while shifting uncomfortably in their seats, they both survive on tips stuffed into their cash receptacles, and they both tease their clients with the promise of a reward that they will never receive during their lifetime.
Think how many more men would bring their families to church if there were strippers there in see through shorts. My guess is this fad will catch fire.
ReplyDeleteDrive through the "Bible Belt" and you will see everywhere churches and strip clubs, porn shops and/or huge signs advertising them in close proximity. I just can't figure out the fundie mindset.
ReplyDeleteLoved the post, the concept and your last paragraph in particular!
ReplyDeleteI'd been hoping to discover the strippers went inside, but sitting outside is almost as good.
About time for people to stand up against this kind of intrusive faith. If the pastor and congregation spent more time contemplating their own lives, ensuring they were being the best they could be, they wouldn't have time to try and monitor everyone else.
Until their own lives are scrupulously clean, they should not be trying to tell others how to live. No one lives a perfect life so they should be busy for a long, long time with their own self-righteous selves.
Nothing wrong with it at all Gryphen!
ReplyDeleteAs the old saying goes:
Turnaround is fair play!
fromthediagonal
Wonderful! But will there be pole dancing after hymns?
ReplyDeleteWhile driving from TX to LA I noticed a little strip mall that had both a strip joint and a church in it.
ReplyDeleteKilling two birds with one stone!
And don't forget, their legs promise of something wonderful above.
ReplyDeleteThe strippers and church are probably boosting each others' bottom line. (Insert bad pun) The only loser is the poor sap who's spending his hard earned money.
ReplyDeleteI love it when O'reilly shows sexy video clips so he can deride the people who made them. Viewers get to enjoy the sexy video and be sanctimonious at the same time. "Oh, look, isn't it awful what these degenerates are doing, look at that, OMG, what a disgusting display, these people are animals, can we see that again?".
Good one Gryph. thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis post had me smilng. A good way to start the day. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThe real Christians are working at soup kitchens and caring for foster children; in other words spending their lives doing acts of charity instead of being overly pious hypocrites. Real Christians don't waste their time making a display of their faith, they quietly live out their beliefs through daily interactions of kindness. I have witnessed people who live their beliefs, and it is far more powerful than these pathetic sign carriers.
ReplyDeletewhen i saw the picture, i thought it was Sarah Palin the "polebrity"
ReplyDeleteGryphen, not real sure what you mean by that last paragraph except that you think you're being hilarious.
ReplyDeleteYes, churches take money offerings. Mine gives most of it to disaster relief and the homeless.
Whether the reward is here in this life or after death is irrelevant, and certainly it's not considered to be a reward of self-gratification.
As for the men (and women?) shifting uncomfortably in their seats, the people who go to my church are humble and discreet, and do good work on a regular basis. Not sure what's bad about that.
laprofesora, exactly.
Gryphen and evreyone else,
ReplyDeleteI saw a post at Alaska WTF about Beck's rally planned on Martin Luther King DAy. It just occurred to me that Sarah Palin has some nerve to be opposed to the Islamic Center blocks from the 9.11 site as shse and Beck plan to "take back America" on the anniversary of Martin Luther King. This infuriates me. What they are doing is exctly as if lead muslims chose to hold a barbacue and rally on Sept. 11 right at the site where 3,000 people died.
I'd like to see media attention to Beck knowingly going ahead with the date knowing the site and
date of our nation's historical significance. I am infuriated now the two pigs..sticking people in the eye are diverting attention away from what they are guilty of. I find Beck's decision reprehensible.
Hell..the GOP backed what's his name saying he'd go back to when blacks could not go in a restaurant or business. Palin backed him up too.
"After all they both have audiences of men looking expectantly up at the stage while shifting uncomfortably in their seats, they both survive on tips stuffed into their cash receptacles, and they both tease their clients with the promise of a reward that they will never receive during their lifetime."
ReplyDeleteBest. Sentence. Ever. Written.