Perhaps the only REAL victim in the Bristol/Levi saga is the little boy trapped in the middle.

Don't you hate it when you are watching a movie and you suddenly realize that you don't really like ANY of the main characters?  The storyline keeps trying to create drama by putting each of the actors in jeopardy, but you simply yawn and think "Hurry up and kill them off, so I can go to bed!"

That is about how I am feeling about this little soap opera.

My first instinct of course was to suspect that Sarah was behind the US Weekly engagement announcement, because it certainly seemed like something she would do.  But I sort of forgot that while Sarah's many advisers have been carefully orchestrating her media events, and putting a spin on the negative stories about her when she screws up, others have been paying close attention.

They have essentially been attending Palin Media Spin class 101.

You see I missed it at first because I had not heard ANYTHING from Tank Jones in a very long time, and I started to wonder if he were even involved with Levi anymore.  Especially since the last several statements from "Team Levi" had been issued by Rex Butler instead of Tank, who was usually the go to guy for those kinds of press releases in the past.

Now I know he is still in the mix, because nobody else could EVER have screwed this publicity stunt up as badly as Sherman "Tank" Jones just did!

Though he would never admit it, Tank has been carefully watching how Palin's team orchestrates her publicity, and trying to copy their methods for use with Levi.  However Palin has several very experienced media people to advise her, and Tank is simply an ex-pimp trying to figure out how to squeeze the last golden egg out of his goose before Levi's contract expires in the next six months or so. (By the way that ex-pimp statement is not an insult, it is a FACT.)

After the big revelation everybody was trying to figure out why Bristol and Levi went with US Weekly instead of People magazine to make their big announcement, especially since they both interviewed Bristol on the very same weekend. (Hell, one of People's reporters even called ME to try and to figure it out.)

Now, thanks to Bristol's tearful confession to People magazine we know that choosing US Weekly was Levi's idea. Of course Levi is only for show, and he does not "have ideas", which means it was Tank Jones who had this brain.....drizzle.

And do you know how I KNOW it was Tank Jones?  Because it completely blew up in their face! 

Now I don't believe that Tank orchestrated the reunion or anything quite that clever, but I am damn sure that the minute he found out about it he immediately smelled the possibility of money.  Tank had to have realized that he had blown it the first time in getting Levi any truly lucrative deals, and that this represented his second chance to get back on that gravy train before it rolled over the horizon and once again left them behind.

So before Levi and Bristol could even take their refurbished relationship out of a test drive, Tank had already made some phone calls and hyped the event enough to get US Weekly to crack open their wallets and hand over 100 grand for the exclusive on this very, very temporary engagement.

But just like the deals that I described in yesterday's post, this one was doomed from the start.  Surprisingly this couple had the opportunity to sign onto a reality show for 1.5  million dollars, but before any money could change hands, or any contracts get signed, Team Levi pulled a Houdini.

Now it MIGHT have been because Bristol is a crazy woman who is constantly consumed with jealousy, or it might have been because she is swelling up like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with Ben Barber's baby. (Still waiting for confirmation on that second one.) But whatever the reason it is just the latest in a string of opportunities that Tank Jones failed to make good on

Hearing about this last failed money making scheme kind of gave me an epiphany.

Now as you all know I think that Palin's lawyer Thomas Van Flein is a major league asshole.  However, he is a major league  asshole that gets things done for his client.

Whether we like it or not, Sarah has "written" one book and has another coming out later this year.

Levi has none.

She is also currently filming a reality show. 

Levi is facing the same un-televised realty as the rest of us.

She has not only made a substantial amount of money giving speeches, she was even able to wrangle her monosyllabic daughter a similar gig. 

At this point in time nobody seems interested in offering Levi any money to say ANYTHING.

Now this is no slam against Levi personally, I think he is at least as talented as Sarah Palin. (Just how low is that bar these days?) However his representation was so unbelievably bad that the boy had to actually take off his pants to earn any real spending cash. ("Hi, my name is Levi, here is my Johnston, hand me some money."), and now rumor has it that he is trying to sell his side of this latest episode of the ongoing soap opera for a measly $20,000 clams.

Like I said there is really nobody left in this situation who comes across as guilt free. 

Not Levi, it appears he agreed to this reality show before Bristol had even unwrapped her engagement ring. And he also allowed Sarah to completely discredit him by getting him to call the truths he told about her "youthful indiscretions."  And that by the way, will prove to be the phrase that ends any hope he ever might have had of being taken seriously in the future.

Not Bristol, she dumped all over poor Ben Barber and was clearly using Levi as well. 

Not Tank or Rex, they have demonstrated themselves to be nothing more than leeches in business suits. And for all of his tailored suits, and shirts with his  name embroidered on the cuffs, Tank has proven to be nothing more than a windbag who, despite his braggadocio, simply cannot provide the moneyshot.

And certainly not Sarah Palin herself, because I cannot think of a more deserving person to have this kind of damaging press happen to as she prepares to rally her intellectually challenged supporters to help her wage a doomed campaign designed to do nothing more than increase her marketability and keep that money flowing in.

Which brings me to Tripp.  He is the one innocent in this whole thing, and he deserves to have a life of relative normalcy (If such a thing exists around the Palins).  So I hope now that the reality show deals are off the table, and Bristol and Levi's failed courtship has run its course, that he will finally have his two parents putting HIS needs first instead of constantly arguing over him or using him as a pawn to manipulate the other.

If Levi and Bristol have learned nothing else from this whole thing, perhaps they learned that the whole world does NOT revolve around them.  But they should both be of the opinion that it does indeed revolve around their son.