I am going to forewarn you that I watched this on Lawrence O'Donnell's "The Last Word" yesterday and found myself overcome with emotion several times.
However it is a VERY important speech for people to hear in order to help us understand the pain these young men and women are going through. And since Joel Burns bravely told his extremely painful story to the world in order to help these kids, the least we can do is give him twelve minutes of our day to listen.
Bravo!!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope that this "It Gets Better" campaign opens the eyes of a lot of apathetic Americans. It's not hard to draw the line from the schoolyard bullying to the vile homophobic rhetoric of the rightwingnuts.
this is another monkey that needs to be firmly on the back on the back of the faux Christians.
I know at last week's GLSTN event they raised over a million $ in one night for the first time ever.
People need to stand up for the oppressed. Children are dying. It's NOT OK!
-kellygrrrl
You know I am alot different than my demographic dictates that I should probably be. I am an affluent 50 year male, semi retired, living in Ohio, straight, Christian raised and also a veteran. By all norms I should be in the very least a center right Republican but I am a liberal Democrat. Most of that profile was made by conscious choice. What was not a choice was my sexual preference, I am simply not attracted to males as sexual partners. I can however understand the distinction and mindset of those who are attracted to same sex partners and their rationale that this attraction is not a choice but rather part of their makeup as an individual.
ReplyDeleteI also have 2 grown children. If either one were to come to me and tell me they are Gay, Lesbian or TG I would be reluctantly supportive. Reluctantly not out of disapproval for how they were created but because of how they will be treated by our society. None of want to see or children hated, harassed or hurt.
I have several Gay friends one of which is a pair of males that have been a committed couple for over 10 years and who have also raised 3 children 2 of which are in college and one soon to graduate HS. I can say that they have more of a Ward and June Cleaver family than most of the straight couples I know who have been divorced and produced dysfunctional offspring (Note the Palin Clan as an example).
It is time for our country as a whole to recognize that ALL people are entitled to love and be in committed relationships and raise families and not try to dictate sexuality based on ignorance, hate or religion.
Remember that our children are our future no matter if they are Gay or straight.
I used to work as a nurse on the psych unit of the hospital. Sometimes we had teenagers admitted to the unit with a diagnosis of depression. It was there that I learned how hard high school really was for gay and lesbian teenagers.
ReplyDeleteI was in my early 20's and had just come out of nursing school. We were not allowed to interject doubt into a religious belief or to attempt to challenge it when talking to a patient.
I was assigned to be the nurse for one of the teens. He had just turned 13. He was shy, kind and very compassionate kid. He was also gay. He tried to hide it, but his mannerisms were effeminate. I don't think he could help it.
His family was Southern Baptist. He had an uncle who was gay and the family demonized him. They would show him passages in the bible stating homosexuality was an abomination to God. I wanted to challenges this. Even then I thought this was bullshit. I saw the pain this kid was going through. On top of the bullying he was going through in school, he was being told that he was an abomination to God.
In the end, I didn't do it. I was told I would be fired. I didn't challenge this area with him or his parents. He was discharged after a few weeks. I didn't feel much had been done to help him.
Later we learned he had hung himself from a tree. He left a note saying it was the death he deserved. The death of Judas, because he was a sin against God and nature.
I still carry the guilt of that.
Right on Mark,
ReplyDeleteAlthough a Christian atheist,I am also an old white male vet with feelings similar to yours.
My motto is: Live and let live.
OT. Excellent blog from Matt Taibbi on Joe Miller!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.rollingstone.com/politics/matt-taibbi/blogs/TaibbiData_May2010/218982/83512
I cried through this clip and immediately posted it on my Facebook wall. The pictures are especially heartbreaking. I am neither gay nor a teen, but I have healing scars on my wrists right now. I think Burns' message is one everyone needs to hear. I want to believe that it gets better. I'm glad it did for him, and I'm glad he is sharing that hope.
ReplyDeleteGryphen I am not one of those mushy females but I have a steady stream of tears rolling down my face. That is the most passionate plea I have heard in a very long time. My thoughts and support goes to Mr. Burns and thank you for sticking your neck out there and are willing to try to help this kids. I hope that the words from his lips goes to everyone's heart and soul.
ReplyDeleteGryphen,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this! I work on a high school campus and you just wouldn't believe what goes on. Even the teachers are bullies sometimes and the football coaches are most definitely offenders. It is unreal. This really does have to stop.
It will be difficult for the anti-gay rhetoric to continue as these personal stories of pain are told. When the stories are about young teens taking their lives, it is hard for anyone with a heart to feel anything but compassion. Do they really feel that these children chose to be gay so they could be tormented, bullied and beaten?
ReplyDeleteI suggest the right to lifers focus on all lives, not just the unborn, and start encouraging anti-bullying legislation. Oops, guess they are already fighting the legislation! Sick hypocrites!
My household saw this on the L. O Donnell show.
ReplyDeleteThe show airs when it's the peak of activity for the day. Kids are finishing up homework, dinner is getting organized, i am preparing for teaching the next day, the spouse has been home from work for about 15 minutes and is busy working his magic on the kids school lunches, the dog is running around in circles, barking... you get the idea.
But this totally stopped my busy household. Everybody was watching and the volume went up on the TV.
You see, my husbands brother is gay. We don't question it or really talk about it, we just naturally accept it.
What hurts me is our young children are learning the devastating effects of hate. My god, it is not like our kids are living in a war zone when bombs are blowing up your kitchen with mom in it.
Everybody wants to their kids to see and feel love and kindness while growing up.
But this is present day America where fucking hate filled homophobic dipsticks take pride and justification in thier hate.
The man in this vid gave such a important message. A message, that, my god, shouldn't have to be there!
The bullies he speaks of are living and practicing hate! &@$€%>¥<#!
It hurts me, as a parent, know my young kids are being exposed to such hate. It is so awful.
I was stunned by his testimony. I agree. As a teen, I was deeply affected when a Fairbanks friend killed himself. In addition to the out-of-the-closet pain, his drunken father was abusing him "to make him a man."
ReplyDeleteNearly 40 years later as a parent, I have helped my youngest through a difficult time when a pal on a sports team killed himself while trying to come to terms with his feelings.
The It Gets Better campaign is sorely needed.
Gryphen, both my husband and I watched on O'Donnell last night. Brought both of us to tears. I hope his message goes far and wide, and will influence not only the bullied but also the ones doing the bullying. We are both in our sixties and find the hate for gays, minorities, and religious groups so disturbing. Not the America that we want to see.
ReplyDeleteSue in Kansas
OFF TOPIC BUT:
ReplyDeleteLets talk about Disparity and utter Stupidity...
Federal Employees Can Purchase Health Insurance For Their Pets, But Not Their Same-Sex Partners
This morning, federal employees who are insured through the Federal Employees Health Benefits (FEHB) Program received an email from Aetna advertising their new pet insurance plans. “In these challenging economic times, it’s good to know you can get some financial protection for unexpected illness and injury to your pets,”...
Thanks for your comment, Mark and your follow up Duncan. My father is in his early 70s, a man's man, straight-laced, an athlete, a football coach, a (retired) gym teacher. He is also one of the most progressive people I know and he can often be found yelling at the television.
ReplyDeleteWhen my father was a teacher, he did not care one bit one way or another what kids looked like, how much money they had, what their sexual identity might or might not have been. He judged kids on their character. We still hear from students of his (half a century's worth) about how he was one of the only teachers who treated everyone the same, with dignity and respect.
I know the stereotype for football coaches and gym teachers (and I know it has as strong basis in reality...I've seen enough bully jackass teachers and coaches) but I can tell you my father never in his life called his players "pussies" or "girls" and he would never stand to have any kids torment any other kids for any reason.
I wish there were more like him.
When the Congress passed a law banning gay bashing the biggest complaints came from self-righteous, money-grubbing Evangelical fundamentalists-shame on them. American exceptionalism indeed!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. . . .
ReplyDeleteI have doubts that affluent, middle-aged, males, veteran Christians are predominantly anti-male. I remember my dad telling me his reaction to DADT. He is all of what is described above. In addition, he was a corporate executive, and the kind that was backbone of the Republican party (the party of the 50's and 60's - he never left the Republican party, but he quit voting for Republicans automatically, and prior to that he believed voting for party was important - committee seniority, voting blocks etc. and I think he's right about that. party affiliation is a consideration). He supported the war in Viet Nam, wasn't very thrilled with the creation of the United Nations (for reasons which struck me as valid issues), and I think I remember him questioning social security at one point. He liked Goldwater. He had a college-educated wife that stayed home, and to my knowledge, our family knew no gay relatives or friends (I'm sure we must have, but I don't know who).
ReplyDeleteHis reaction to the issue of gays in the military: where's the issue. Why should they get out of service to the country (not said in anger at gays - more as inclusion into the group of young males eligible for military service. He wasn't just willing to let them join if they wanted - he figured they were in the same group as he was when it came to deciding who would get/be required to fire guns and protect the nation). He didn't see a sexual issue. I'm presuming that he also ran into gays in the military. (he served in WWII) Didn't bother him.
I suspect there are a lot of guys like him. Unfortunatley, they don't man the phone banks, walk the streets, etc. - the things that give the social conservatives the power they have.
Thank you for posting this, Gryphen. I'm going to post this on my FB wall, too. I don't know how anyone can watch this and not be affected.
ReplyDeleteYour post also is very timely for me, as I am soon to volunteer at my kids' elementary school. I recently received an email from the Human Rights Campaign that had a link for welcomingschools.org. They have a very good anti-bullying curriculum that I want to introduce to the teachers. Hopefully, the principal will approve.
Bullying has to stop! And the sooner you can catch it the better. My kids are in 1st and 2nd grades and I hear my son repeat things that he hears and it bothers me. I will do everything in my power to stop it in my house and in the schools.
Thanks Gryphen for posting this I watched it last night on The Last Word and was very moved. The Daily Dish has been posting many of these clips and they really tell a story about our society. It is the Jerry Prevos of the world and his ilk in the Vally Churches that are the worst offenders that cause this kind of bullying.
ReplyDeletePlease write Joel Burns to tell him how you feel about his statement.
ReplyDeleteAs a citizen from a neighboring city,Dallas,I can tell you this man is so very brave and has just put his job on the line to help gay and lesbian youths stand up and see a positive future.Also this is probably something we should remind all our kids"It gets better."
Also I believe it is important for all of us to live life as fully as possible so our children can look forward to being where we are.
You are gay aren't you Jesse!
ReplyDeleteGryphen,
ReplyDeleteBurns was interviewed on CNN today. Really good interview.
Thank you for posting this. I could NOT watch it because I have a gay son who is now 24. There is not one day that goes by that I don't worry about his safety.
ReplyDeleteHe was bullied in HS but when we found out my husband called the school & demanded to see the videos (they have them everywhere). The boys would jump on him and hump him every day after lunch by the stairways. I don't know if they had any videos there but after the principal talked to the boys they never even looked at my son again. My son did go to the principal with some friends who witnessed it and were shocked beyond belief. They could not believe that anyone would do that.
However, that meant he could never even go to the bathroom. We worried about what they would do if they ever saw him off school property. Thankfully, nothing did happen but we live in a pretty quiet bedroom community (which I know doesn't make much of a difference) but there is really no place for the kids to hang out in gangs.
The only other thing at HS was when he was going on a trip to France. There were four boys going and one of them did not like my son and told the french teacher that he wouldn't sleep in the same hotel room with him because he was gay (all 4 would have stayed in the same room). Mind you he hadn't come out yet. The kid's parents actually paid full price so he could have a room to himself. I might add that these were "good" christian people (gag).
At any rate, people need to see this message.
Thank you for re-posting this video. It needs to be seen and discussed by every adult and teen.
ReplyDeleteI challenge anyone who does not condemn bullying to look into their hearts and figure out why it is that they have so much hate.
I defy anyone of any faith to justify inflicting shame and pain on another human being, particularly children and teenagers. If you have done it, do it, or promote doing so, then you do not live your faith. As with any religious belief, you have the right to follow the dictates of your faith as they apply to your life, but you do not have the right - moral or legal - to apply those faith tenants to others. Period. Faith is personal.
I would even venture further and have anyone who says they condemn homosexuality on the basis of their religious faith to challenge themselves as to why their faith would be cruel. In particular, because most people say they are Christians, those people need to really ask themselves if they truly believe Christ taught hate. I defy them to justify any such contention. If a pastor is preaching hate, then they need to disassociate themselves from that pastor.
It takes guts to be compassionate. It takes courage to stand up against bullies - in the pulpit or in the classroom or playgrounds, but we as adults must stand up to them for the sake of the children - whether those children are our or not.
We throw around the term "hero" like heroes are a dime a dozen, but this man in Fort Worth is a hero by having the courage to open his heart and share his story and his concern. You, too, Gryphen, are a hero for giving his message a wider audience. Thank you
I saw that a couple times and I commend him. It is getting pretty bad out there in every way. If what he said can reach some of the kids then great!
ReplyDeleteI saw this yesterday at the Dish. It had me in tears. Hopefully, the "It Gets Better" series will help people see the humanity behind the label and the bullying will stop.
ReplyDeleteI sent this on to both of my kids (my transgendered son and his identical twin sister) as well as to a close friend who works at one of the high schools in Juneau, and my Facebook page. This message can't be passed on too soon, too far or too wide. Thanks for posting it, Gryphen. It means a lot!
ReplyDeleteNo anonymous 10:05 I am not gay.
ReplyDeleteI am a human being, and human beings care about each other.
However if your obvious attempt at an insult means you believe that only gay people would care about the tragic loss of these young lives, then I worry very about YOUR humanity my friend.
Just to avoid any future confusion, I am also not black, or a woman, or a disabled person, or a Republican, or a veteran, or a Hispanic, or a communist, or a teabagger, but you may very well see me show compassion toward those groups, and others, in the future.
I hope that will help to clarify things for you so there is no confusion if you are planning to return here again.
Have a nice day.
Thanks for sharing, Gryphen.
ReplyDeleteMy heterosexual son has a good friend who is gay. The friend was able to come out in highschool and I'm so glad about that. Now this friend proudly attends the Gay Pride Parade and invites friends to share the experience.
I'm glad that for this young man, "it get's better" is happening already.
Nothing makes me more angry than bullying. My very handsome husband, to this day, looks in the mirror and sees a chunky boy that was bullied for years, the scars are deep and they never go away. My son was also bullied for being hyperactive and is struggling with his self-esteem. It kills me to see that we have not evolved any further in our treatment of those who are different. This video should be shown in every classroom around the world.
ReplyDeleteSorry - off topic - but good.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.politicususa.com/en/ventura-palin
I had tears in my eyes when I saw this yesterday on TV. I'm so thankful that he spoke up but what I'd like to see is more politicians demanding that those who speak so negatively about others simply because they love differently, shut up and sit down. We do not need to be so worried about the alleged homosexual agenda as we do the "fundies" and their desire to have the U.S. exist as a theocracy.
ReplyDeleteErica,
ReplyDeleteI sent Joel an email this afternoon and I encourage everyone to do the same, too. I agree with you that he has laid everything on the line and will probably be getting death threats as well. With a few exceptions (Austin, San Antonio), Texas is a very conservative state and the intolerance there is palpable. I know because I lived there.
wow, that was amazing, beautiful, brave, heartfelt, and necessary. what a beautiful way to support the kids who are so in pain and will one day be in pain as they find out or are told that they are different and not worthy. this breaks my heart as i have worked with kids who ave suffered in this and other manners.
ReplyDeletemy face is soaked and my scarf as well. i joined his facebook group and posted this vdeo on my facebook page. this should be spread far and wide. thanks for sharing gryph. you are a great dad yourself.
I watched this speech, and it was inspiring as well as emotional. It was a rallying cry to all bullied kids in general, and to gay kids in particular. It's long past time that all of us recognized that bullying is not "normal childhood behavior." It stems from a total lack of empathy for the victims, and it is cruelty that thrives on what it sees as weakness.
ReplyDeleteJust as some kids succumb by suicide, there are other kids who resort to violence like the Columbine killers. I also have no doubt that some urban poor children who are bullied turn into the kind of thugs that strike fear into so many.
The hate-filled and fake Christians who convey this kind of hate, as well as many of the Tea Partiers, are examples of adult bullying. Just like childhood bullying, it is hateful and destructive.
As uplifting as this man's message is, however, it is up to us adults to do everything in our power to ensure that it DOES get better. It starts with zero tolerance for bullying and an affirming of each child's value as a human being.
Bullying is bullying no matter the "justification" for it.My grandson gets tortured in school because he wears glasses,because he has buck teeth,because he has Asperger's and is socially inept,because he has ADHD and is impulse driven.He is tortured because he is different.Gay and Lesbian teens are even more different,and get mistreated even more.Yet the gay and Lesbian young people I know are just like my grandson,some of the most tolerant people in the world.They do not care if you are black,red,green,Gay,straight or Martian,you are accepted as you are.When bullies are alone with him,they often tell my grandson that they can be "secret" friends with him,but will have to be mean when they are with their "regular" friends so they will be accepted.
ReplyDeleteParents suck.If they would turn off Faux news,get out and make a difference for good in their community,their children would learn tolerance too.
My 8 year old grandson has a best friend who may be showing signs of growing up to be Gay.His dad thinks so.I don't know,his hero worship of my other , younger athletic grandson may be just that.His dad does not care.He has 8 brothers and sisters,all straight,but all different and all accepted,so is he. If all parents were as in tune with their kids and as accepting of them,the bullies would never learn how to bully .
I have a nephew who attended Pascal and a niece living in Crowley. I think of Texas as redneck. The standing ovation given to this heartfelt statement by a Ft. Worth councilman gives me hope that truth is what matters, no matter who says it.
ReplyDeleteI have a family member who is gay. I know what he has gone through along with many of his friends both male or female.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 12 I was friends with a boy who was gay. I have not talked about it in a long time. The last time I saw him was at 7pm one night. The next day the State police were at my home along with everyone else who knew him. He had been picked up, by some guy they suspected, and was killed. His killer was never charged and at 12 I understood a lot more then I should have. I will never be sorry for knowing him. The hate needs to stop.
Wow, simply amazing! I've never posted any videos on my Facebook wall, but this called me to do so.
ReplyDeleteI'm heartsick at what so many kids are going through at the hands of bullies. Living in Texas, I cringe because I have heard my share of anti-gay invective here.
While Joel Burns is not my councilman, I am gratified that someone like him sits on the council that makes decisions for my city. I will be sending him a big thank you email too. Go Joel!
While Austin is our more enlightened city here in Texas, one may find many liberal/progressive types in the urban areas of cities such as Dallas and Fort Worth (NOT the suburbs).