If killing sentient beings brings you to orgasm, #YouMightBeAPalin
If you think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your husband Todd drunk#youmightbeapalin
If you have your Thanksgiving Family Meltdown on FB #youmightbeapalin
If you come from Wasilla, and millions of ignorant racist morons hang on your every word, #YouMightBeAPalin
If you spend your Thanksgiving posting misspeaks by Obama to cover up your ignorance about Korea#youmightbeapalin
You can find those and many more right here.
I really appreciate the fact that on our side we have so many intelligent imaginative people calling Grandma Grifter out on her BS. It just makes the holidays all that much more enjoyable.
Keep the movement spreading, "Palin fatigue", it's highly contagious.
ReplyDeleteHere are some of mine:
ReplyDelete@rhshaw
If you think Alaska is yours #YouMightBeAPalin
20 Nov
@rhshaw
If you use shell corporations to hide your money #YouMightBeAPalin
20 Nov
@rhshaw
If you think educated Americans are unpatriotic #YouMightBeAPalin
20 Nov
@rhshaw
If you think "rill" Americans are uneducated #YouMightBeAPalin
20 Nov
@rhshaw
if you think "America" and "racial profiling" belong together #YouMightBeAPalin
20 Nov
OT: A really good article in the Huffington Post about Palin's North Korea gaffe.
ReplyDeleteThe author, Mitchell Brad, hit the nail on the head. Palin is truly dangerous.
"Palin's "North"-for-"South" flub matters, but not because she misspoke. It matters because we, as a country, are acting as if she is some kind of policy expert, when, in reality, she is simple-minded and ignorant. She can say the wrong name, just like us. But just like most of us, she has no business acting like she understands the North Korea crisis in the first place."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mitchell-bard/why-sarah-palins-north-ko_b_788647.html
If you keep makin' things up even when it's proven you are a liar #YouMightBeAPalin
ReplyDeleteIf you take your children to book signings and political rallies instead of sending them to school #YouMightBeAPalin
If you can't get enough of seeing yourself (and your family) on TV #YourMightBeAPalin
If you fake a pregnancy in order to advance your career #YouMightBeAPalin
If you just don't get the fact that most Americans can't stand you #YOU DEFINITELY ARE A PALIN
Palin went to Alabama and recycled a bunch of Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck" jokes during a speech. So this is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI made up my on.
ReplyDeleteIf you believe the performing monkey Facebook postings is actually Palin's writings #YouMightBeAPalin
If you think you can win a dance contest by just walking around and shaking your tits #YouMightBeAPalin
ReplyDeleteMy contributions many days ago were :
ReplyDeleteIf you think "trash pick-up" means your daughter has a date #YoumightbeaPalin and
If you're the family that Preys together #YoumightbeaPalin
#YouMightBeAPalin if you thought winkin, blinkin & nod was a way to get elected President
If life throws you lemons, you duck and they hit Tawd #YouMightBeAPalin
from FishhawkRdJody lol }: >
Two points:
ReplyDeleteLocal police are providing security for her book signing on whose dime? Taxpayers??
Also, too has her signing time already gone from a scheduled three hours to only two hours?
Dillons Marketplace, 225 E Cloud, Andover, KS
Sunday, Nov 28, 2010 11:00am -
Sunday, Nov 28, 2010 2:00pm
http://www.wibw.com/localnews/headlines/110893899.html
Security Beefed Up For Palin's Visit
Andover police will be providing security for former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin when she visits Sunday.
Palin will stop at the Dillons Marketplace Sunday from 11 a.m. until 1 p.m. to sign her latest book...
If by "pro-life" you really mean "breed early and often #YouMightBeAPalin
ReplyDeleteIf we giver her enough to obsess about maybe her head will explode.
ReplyDelete'Cause how she and her staff and lovely daughters will have to read all these entries so they can match their rage to American's growing disrespect for them.
That rage may eventually be their undoing. Like the rip in the side of the Titanic it was a very thin rip but it went on and on and on.
I don't tweet so if somebody likes this one...
ReplyDeleteIf you think America is the land of the freebee#
Unfortunately, the link to "more" of the same, doesn't work. Apparently it's already been taken down, deleted, or something.
ReplyDeleteSeems a real shame, too. But what an opportunity for some enterprising geek, y'think?
When People say "Ho Ho Ho" and you're not sure if they mean your daughter, then #youmightbeapalin
ReplyDelete:D I have tweeted some others, but I think this is by far my favorite. Came to me over a cup of coffee whilst listening to Christmas music! LOL
If you have an empty Bumpit, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteDon't twitter.
That is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHere's a working link..look for the hashtag..not an acct
ReplyDeletehttp://twitter.com/#search?q=%23YouMightBeAPalin
if you forgot to take your BC pill - don't worry, you're not a Palin.
ReplyDeleteWonderful!
ReplyDeleteShould be compiled into one volume and sold!
These are great -
ReplyDeleteNow we need a "folksy" comedian to take this show on the road. Bet the attendance would be better than the current Book Tour
Definitely Palinesque but pure american too.
ReplyDeleteShe knows not the difference that exists between the Koreas,
ReplyDeleteany more than she knows the fact that it is a peninsula.
To her, a peninsula is a pen that doesn't conduct electricity.
If you strut you family on stages and tabloids to advance your agenda at the same time whine about the attention, you are INDEED a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf you think sticking your head up your ass makes you a THINK TANK, YOU ARE A PALIN!
ReplyDeleteAccording to Kake.com-a Wichita Ks tv station-the media can shoot video of Sarah while she is in Andover Ks tomorrow, but can't interview her or get any audio recordings of her. How's that Constitution thingy werkin fer ya?
ReplyDeletePeople are not allowed to set up tents, but are expected to stand in the cold while waiting for her. Is she afraid someone will hide a gun in a tent? They think people might start lining up tonight. I can't imagine anyone wanting to see her or buying anything she "wrote".
For someone that claims to be so glad to have their freedoms, she sure dictates that others can't have theirs. What about their right to interview her, or record her, or the right to stay warmer?
All I can say is...that woman is an idiot!!
FYI-Andover is a bedroom community about 14 miles from Wichita. However, from another direction, it's 14 miles to El Dorado Ks. El Dorado happens to be the birthplace of President Obama's Mother and Grandparents.
I'm surprised she's doing a book signing at a grocery store in Andover. Wichita is a large city with bookstores or a number of other venues to have a book signing. Dillons just seems like such an odd place for her to sign books. But then again....she's a taco short of a full Mexican platter...so maybe it's not so odd after all.
According to Kake.com-a Wichita Ks tv station-the media can shoot video of Sarah while she is in Andover Ks tomorrow, but can't interview her or get any audio recordings of her. How's that Constitution thingy werkin fer ya?
ReplyDeletePeople are not allowed to set up tents, but are expected to stand in the cold while waiting for her. Is she afraid someone will hide a gun in a tent? They think people might start lining up tonight. I can't imagine anyone wanting to see her or buying anything she "wrote".
For someone that claims to be so glad to have their freedoms, she sure dictates that others can't have theirs. What about their right to interview her, or record her, or the right to stay warmer?
All I can say is...that woman is an idiot!!
FYI-Andover is a bedroom community about 14 miles from Wichita. However, from another direction, it's 14 miles to El Dorado Ks. El Dorado happens to be the birthplace of President Obama's Mother and Grandparents.
I'm surprised she's doing a book signing at a grocery store in Andover. Wichita is a large city with bookstores or a number of other venues to have a book signing. Dillons just seems like such an odd place for her to sign books. But then again....she's a taco short of a full Mexican platter...so maybe it's not so odd after all.
If your jawline is full of your own assfat, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf you are half native and married a "white" pregnant woman because you didnt like Natives, You might be a Palin.
I don't tweet but here's one:
ReplyDeleteYou think everyone (and the LSM)is just picking on you because they are so jealous of your beauty and your brains.
Another lie from Caribou Barbie?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.politicususa.com/en/palin-hunter-fraud
Claimed she was caribou hunting.
If you think "swag" is an entitlement, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not smarter than a fifth grader, you might be a Palin.
If you think dancing fulltime for 12 weeks makes you fat, you might be a Palin.
If ya can't keep your legs closed, ya might be a Palin or a Heath.
ReplyDeleteIf ya disagree with someone elses opinion and you consider them a faggot, ya might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf ya water breaks before you are 17 years old, ya might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf you are willing to embarass yourself on national tv for a few bucks, ya might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf you are running for President of the United States of America and your dumb ass publicly admits that North Korea is your best friend, you are definitely a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf ya son chooses to go to Iraq instead of going to jail, ya might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your brother is actually your son, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your kids are dumber than you, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your new favorite dish is North Korean Caribou with Kimchi, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your daughter goes to LA and competes on DWTS and returns with a red highway flag on her double wide ass, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf an all you can eat buffet boards up its windows and doors because your daughter just stepped out of her car with her gut in a wheel barrel, you are definitely a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf you wake up on the side of the road with your pants down around your ankles, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf a judge asks who gives this 17 year old girl away for marriage and her 7 year old son steps up and says "I do", you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your mother is changing your diaper while you are changing your daughter's diaper, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf ya hafta to go on Facebook and beg people to watch Sarah Palin's Alaska, you are a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your mother has to leave Hawaii to bail you out of jail, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf the mother is due the same time as her 16 year old daughter is due, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf the tooth fairy leaves you a dollar the same day you find out you are pregnant, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh .... I'm in stiches here .... Trash pick-up day is palin prom night and load the dishwasher is to buy Todd a beer ... I've tears rolling down my cheeks
ReplyDeleteIf you go to your mother's book signing and ask what are those rectangular paper things on the shelves, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteI don't tweet... but here are some thoughts...
ReplyDelete1. If you make 12+ million dollars in 1 year and you're still soliciting money to pay for your 200K legal expenses,you might be a Palin.
2. If your Political Party has already paid for your 200K legal expenses, and you're still soliciting money to cover it, you might be a Palin.
3. If your house looks like your city's sports center, you might be a Palin.
4. If you label people as pedophiles because they don't agree with you, you might be a Palin.
5. If your PAC is just another one your personal bank accounts, you might be a Palin.
6. If your hand becomes an important part of your public speaking, you might be a Palin.
7. If you're an expert in everything, you might be a Palin.
8. If you have to keep reminding everyone that you made a decision, (you chose), you might be a Palin.
9. If your God only exists when you're in front of a microphone, you might be a Palin.
10. If you think DWTS is a new political primary, you might be a Palin.
http://www.adn.com/2010/11/25/1573143/alaska-fighting-uphill-battle.html
ReplyDeleteIf you think you might have gonorrhea,#YouMightBeAPalin
These are excellent especially if your brother is actually your son... someone needs to make these more accessible on the Web. You guys are too witty.
ReplyDeleteIf you are in your mid 40's, pregnant with a special needs child, your amniotic fluid all over the floor, and you give a 45 minute speech, spend eight hours in pressurized cabins flying north, and finish with a 45 minute drive, while your unborn child is struggling to breathe (the fetus needs the fluid to breathe in the womb), #YouMight BeAPalin
ReplyDeleteIf the only person in your family who has common sense and a brain is diagnosed with Down Syndrome, then you must be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteThey've apparently taken down this account. When I click on the provided link I get the message "Sorry, that page doesn’t exist!"
ReplyDeleteIf Twitter won't allow these, then I suggest that Gryphen should keep it up. It will piss off Palin and her brainless drones mightily. Willow might even post another obscene rant.
If your cement slab furniture as seen on TLC can only seat 4 people and your family has 2 parents, 4 kids and 2 grandkids, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your 60 year old mother wears tight white shirts and still stuffs her bra, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDeleteIf your mother thinks highly of Hitler, you might be a Palin.
ReplyDelete