| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Hosni Mubarak Will Not Run Again | ||||
| ||||
Oh Fox News! How would all of us know how intelligent we are without your cable hosts around to use as a measuring tool?
I believe the "Fox News Intelligence Determinator" goes something like this:
Can engage in intelligent conversation, handle complex facts, and is so far above his fellow employees in intellect, that he has them trained to prepare his meals and wash his ass for him = Shepard Smith
Can ask softball questions and maintain eye contact (with the one non-squinty eye anyway), while keeping the interview relatively focused on the topic at hand, though exhibits loss of control over interview in the presence of anybody from Wasilla, Alaska = Greta Van Susteren.
Has basic knowledge of facts, but finds them boring or non-useful if they do not support his point of view, so replaces them with made up stuff and delivers the fantasy information in a condescending manner which makes him feel smart and keeps interview subjects questioning his sanity = Bill O'Reilly
Knows only a few talking points and how to comb his hair. Essentially a rutabaga in a suit = Sean Hannity.
Writes on chalkboards, eats his boogers, and smears his feces all over the break room = Glenn Beck.
Personally I feel, at a minimum, that I am somewhere between Greta and Shephard Smith. maybe even a little higher. How about you?
Thanks a lot, Gryph. I'm sitting in the back of my classroom, surreptitiously reading I M on my iPhone. And then I burst out in loud laughter!
ReplyDeletesorry, I can't give an opinion because I'm still laughing.
ReplyDeletePlease don't ever stop trying to find answers.
ReplyDeleteI see the teabaggers like the supporters of Mubarak that attacked the free press today:
http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/02/02/5975936-widespread-crackdown-on-journalists
Fox and Palin seek to do the same as Mubarak's thugs, and they will scream "fair and balanced" the entire time. Fox news seeks to control the message and Palin cheerleads for them with her "lamestream media" bullshit tag line.
This woman cannot ever, ever, ever become President. Imagine the thugs in Tahrir Square as Teabaggers defending their leader.
Wikileaks is Mossad propaganda for the US to continue endless Wars for Israel, it all started nearly a decade ago under a false flag attack.
ReplyDelete9/11 and Israel, here:
http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000190526
I love how Comedy Central exposes the FOXNews dumbing down of America... one Rill 'Merikun at a time.
ReplyDeleteI like how they describe Sean on the Stephanie Miller show:
ReplyDeleteTic-Tac brain rattling around inside a great, big old Flintstone head.
And if there is a God, Shep Smith will jump to some other outlet when he gets a chance because he's the closest thing to an actual journalist that Faux has.
Ir's not that this devoted anon member of IM is actually afraid of Palin occupying the White House, it's simply an insult that this horrible, know-nothing woman is given a platform and makes money off of the ostensibly hard-working people she purports to represent.
ReplyDeleteJoe Miller and Christine O'Donnell have been revealed as crackpot firebrands, but Teflon Sarah still needs to be taken down outside the Fox News Bubble.
Greta, for all the accomplishments and shit she's had to put up with her whole life, to let herself get so minimized and rediculous by having to lower her brand to kowtow to idiots and assholes like the Palin's . . .sigh.
Loved the "Essentially a rutabaga in a suit" descriptive.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, now I need tips on how to clean up my keyboard. I was sipping a soft drink and started snorting so forcibly that, well, the soft drink zoomed out my nose.
I should know better than to drink or eat anything when perusing this site -- often too funny for safety. Poor keyboard.
Not too difficult to top the best person on Fox. Just need an IQ over 100 or maybe 110. Not saying that's all you or we have, but really they are such dead-end dunces for the most part. Any of them that show promise are dumbed-down quickly.
ReplyDeleteI too need help with cleaning my keyboard this late afternoon.
ReplyDeletehilarious
ReplyDeletewait! this is o-t for this thread but it must be asked
ReplyDeleteIn the NE, a pal of Shailey said she was asked to give Sarah a massage at the last minute correct? Meaning whoever asked her probably didnt know about any affair between Shailey and Todd correct? An affair that it's been said to have happened just weeks prior to the massage given by Tripp to Sarah.
In the first article, neighbors in the building said they saw Todd come and go and heard sex noises correct?
If building neighbors heard these noises and assumed Todd was having an affair, why didn't the other employees know when they asked shailey to massage Sarah? Do you get my drift? Either someone was out to make Shailey feel uber uncomfortable or something's not right here
Well isn't this a kick in the pants! The Palin clan converges on Arizona and within weeks the state goes BLUE! This is starting to get really fun.
ReplyDelete*
Obama topping Palin in Red Arizona
Even in Republican Arizona, Barack Obama has a healthy lead over Sarah Palin.
With the state swinging away from Democrats, having Palin on the ballot come general election time next year is Obama's best hope of winning the Grand Canyon State, according to a new poll. Democrats have taken Arizona in only one presidential race since 1952.
The survey by Public Policy Polling found Obama topping Palin 49 percent to 41 percent in the state.
...57 percent have an unfavorable view of Palin.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0211/48701.html
All I can say is I would love to be between Greta and Shep. Oooh, cuddlicious.
ReplyDeleteFound this pretty humorous!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nerve.com/news/web/ben-greenman-makes-a-phrenology-chart-of-sarah-palins-skull
For all those who have ever found themselves spewing their drink over their keyboard while reading this blog:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ehow.com/video_2026_clean-computer-keyboard.html
So I really dislike the national enquirer. Chelsea Clinton has never done anything to have her name dragged into their pages for a story. Leave the newlywed be. It's sad how some people have no life that they must live through others' drama
ReplyDeleteComedian Mo Rocca put it best when he said Sarah Palin gets involved in every story, and it’s not entirely her fault. “America is obsessed with her,” he said. “She’s like our collective ex-girlfriend.” Palin may hate the media but her every comment, gaffe or tweet clangs through the 24-hour news cycle like a quarter in a dryer.
ReplyDeleteSo after President Barack Obama gave his State of the Union speech, it was inevitable Palin would get on her permanent podium on Fox News.
Palin seemed to misunderstand his call for a new “Sputnik moment.” The president wants a technological impetus like the one we felt when the Russians launched the first artificial satellite in 1957. Palin seemed to think Obama was admiring Sputnik itself (because he’s, ya know, a commie).
Palin also gave a shout-out to the Spudnut Shop of Richland, Wash. “[I]t’s a little coffee shop that’s so successful, 60-some years, generation to generation, a family-owned business not looking for government to bail them out and to make their decisions for them,” she explained. “It’s just hardworking, patriotic Americans in this shop. We need more Spudnut moments in America.”
But she’s right: An excellent metaphor for the American economy can be found in Spudnuts. The once-great Spudnut chain has fizzled over the years.
And isn’t that just like the American workforce? Our glory days are behind us and we basically clocked out in the ‘80s. Instead of producing something simple, necessary and proven — like, say, a regular donut — we insist on concocting some harebrained product no one ever thought they needed, like a “Spudnut” or a credit default swap or PajamaJeans.
Obama called for a “Sputnik moment,” a flurry of American innovation that would put our economy and infrastructure into the 21st century. But he isn’t insisting on space-race pacing. He wants clean energy to be providing 80 percent of our power by 2035. We put a man on the freaking moon just 12 years after Sputnik!
Waiting 25 years for some necessary technological goals will leave America as out-of-date and unwanted in the global economy as those stupid potato donuts.
http://www.newhavenadvocate.com/commentary/sarah-palins-spudnut-moment-041844
12:29, I find it hard to believe you care about Chelsea Clinton.
ReplyDeleteOoooh, 12:29 is a clever little troll! Posting on a different thread than the NE one, and pretending to be a Democrat. Sadly, just as obvious as the garden variety troll, though. Extra points for effort, nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 11:14 - OT
ReplyDeleteThe police obviously had cause to arrest two people on prostitution-related charges, in spite of other people worked at the spa.
The complaint about noises occurred in 2010. Sarah's massage happened in 2008. There's not necessarily any relationship between the noises and Shailey and Todd in 2010 or 2008, who may have been quiet, at least, while other spa workers were there.
Perhaps the noisy prostitution occurred during off hours when other spa workers weren't there.
Perhaps the people who called to report prostitution lied about the noise.
Perhaps the person who sent Shailey to massage Sarah:
1) was a new employee
2) was a part-time employee who wasn't usually there when Shailey/Todd were there
3) knew but didn't care
4) knew but wanted to cause problems
5) didn't have any reason to suspect Todd/Shailey
Use your imagination.
I care about my fellow man. Especially people whose lives are run in tabloids even when they do not seek attention. Are we heartless today? But I'd expect nothing different from gryphens supporters.
ReplyDeleteUnlike bristol, chelsea has never sought attention