You know what they say, you can't be too skinny, too rich, or have too many Botox injections.
He has the asshole demographic locked up, and she is working on wooing the lunatics away from Bachmann and Palin.
Those are mine, do you have any caption ideas?
Update: Okay it has been brought to my attention that this is an older picture of Mrs. Gingrich.
Here is a more current picture.
I'm thinking improvement. How about you guys?
Gryphen, you dummy. That's not Botox, that's a poorly performed eye lift. Botox freezes the forehead, but doesn't give you the "surprised" look. Ask any plastic surgeon.
ReplyDeleteIt always makes me giggle how rich stupid people go to poor plastic surgeons, rather than good ones. A good eye lift by a talented surgeon looks natural.
By the look on "her" face, he must be niggling her blow-up nozzle back there.
ReplyDeleteMr & Mrs Stepford.
ReplyDeleteWTF, indeed. Apparently, she only 45. Looks about 55. Sun damage? A smoker? (Oh no, better not get cancer, you know what will happen then . . .).
ReplyDeleteGet your finger out of my ass!
ReplyDeleteStepford wife.
ReplyDeleteBristol Palin, meet your future self.
ReplyDeleteDon't the Gingrich's make enough money that she can afford to get her roots professionally done?
ReplyDeleteLuv the doo. What a great bobble-head!
ReplyDeleteACK!!! COLD HANDS!!!
ReplyDelete-Oz
That dude standing next to Newt Gingrich has an adams apple!
ReplyDeleteIs that Bristol Palin 2.0 posing with Newt?
ReplyDeleteHere's a link to a plastic surgery site discussing Mrs. Gingrich's obvious plastic surgery:
ReplyDeletehttp://news.makemeheal.com/celebrity-plastic-surgery/callista-bisek-gingrich-plastic-surgery/
Here are some illuminating quotes:
"Dr. Paul S. Nassif, a Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon and Rhinoplasty Specialist in Beverly Hills, California says, “Callista Bisek appears to have had a browlift, facial fillers, Botox, possibly a rhinoplasty at one point in her life, and there is a possibility she had a minimally invasive facelift at one point as well. Overall, it is evident she had work performed, and would not benefit from any additional work at this time.”
. . .
However you feel about Newt’s political manipulations, it seems obvious that Callista has undergone some plastic surgery manipulations of her own–making her look older rather than enhancing her natural looks.
Read the complete celebrity plastic surgery profile of Callista Bisek Gingrich on Plasticopedia, the web’s largest celebrity plastic surgery encyclopedia."
the totally not-a-human look is stunning. Why is one of her eyes twice the size of the other? And why does her nose look like a raptor beak?
ReplyDeleteShe looks like a raptor—beady eyes, beak-like nose. Watch out, she's spotted a small mammal across the room! Cue the music from "The Birds."
ReplyDeleteBristol Palin, you are about 3 facelifts away from looking like that old bird next to Newt.
ReplyDeleteWow they should have used her picture for the Levi Johnston book
ReplyDeleteRemember "Grandpa" from the Munsters? Uh huh.
ReplyDeletehe must've just put fresh batteries in her.
ReplyDeleteI can't look at this photo without snickering. Don't they have mirrors at their house? Newt and Mrs. Newt must be the only two people on the face of this planet who thinks he's got a chance in hell of winning the GOP nomination.
ReplyDeleteWould be shocked to find out she's had rhinoplasty. Her nose looks like a raptor's beak in profile. Caw! Caw!
"I can't believe I married this a-hole!"
ReplyDeleteHow about under the photo "Dumb & Stoned".
ReplyDeleteDude, you're scaring the kids. Take that down.
ReplyDelete"The joke and the Joker"
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to picture Mrs. Gingrich as First or is it Third Lady playing with children on the WH lawn the way Michelle does.
ReplyDeleteBill
Newt will lose and he'll dump this wife and blame his loss on her. He has a lot of unresolved issues, hate being one of them.
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO That is one funny looking woman!
ReplyDelete"My god, these methedrine suppositories are exquisite!"
ReplyDeleteI thought you'd Photoshopped this, Griffy! That is one BAD, terrible, not so good, very bad face lift! This is what Joker had in Batman! Somebody got dunked in toxic waste!
ReplyDeleteAre face lifts the GOP women's new tramp stamp?
ReplyDeleteHave you been drinking again, Gryphen?
ReplyDeleteYou see, Republicans don't like elitists. So they make a point to pick plastic surgeons who went to shitty medical schools and graduated at the bottom of their classes. That's the only way I can explain Callista's scary face.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I just found this on Salon about Callista.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/05/11/callista_gingrich_anti_genxer/
Money quotes:
"But for many of us, the most baffling thing about Callista Gingrich can be summed up by the email an old friend sent me a few days ago. It asked one simple question: "This Plasticine hag is our age? THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE." . . . But my fellow Gen Xers: Callista, God help us, belongs to us. . . .
In a fascinating, in-depth story in the New York Times Tuesday, the subject of Mrs. Gingrich's public profile was front and center. Why, the Times wondered, is Gingrich so gung-ho that this woman -- once portrayed exclusively as the home-wrecker who wrecked the home of his other home-wrecker wife . . . Why is she being touted as his possible "secret political weapon"? Could it be that the 22-years-younger little lady brings something fresh to his campaign?
Maybe if you're pushing 70, Mrs. Gingrich, who met her husband when she was still in her 20s, might seem vibrant. But have you seen her? The Times quotes Gingrich's inner circle fretting over Callista's "physical presence," a look that favors "platinum hair teased and sprayed, bold-colored suits accessorized by a triple strand of pearls or eye-popping diamond jewelry." If you're looking for the youth vote, Gingrich, keep looking. The frozen-faced Callista is a ringer for Cindy McCain, a woman a full dozen years her senior, yet she's only a year apart from Liz Phair. Liz Freaking Phair, people."
Callista does look like she is almost pushing 60. WTF, indeed.
We now know who the mothers of all those blonde female on-air Fox News cheerreaders are. Cindy McCain and Callista Gingrich.
ReplyDeleteDonald Trump's big fat stupid mouth ruined any chance he may have had...you'd expect the same from Newt "Aw, shit, not HIM again" Gingrich.
ReplyDeleteBefore the Newster can SPEAK his way into total clownhood, this wife may have him laughed out of contention, just LOOKING as she does.
Trying to get that "youthful hottie" look so Newty won't ditch her for the next hottie because "He loves America so much."
ReplyDeleteSorry sweetie, you don't have long to go....
News of Willow:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.tmz.com/2011/05/14/willow-palin-speeding-ticket-sarah-palin-todd-bristol-alaska-governor-president-campaign-running-tea-party/
It's actually kind of sad. She was cute when she was younger -- looked like a young Meg Ryan.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.washingtonian.com/block_dbimages/5092/Callista&NewtGingrich.jpg
She made poor choices in life. Maybe there is a God and God punished her for having an affair with a married man.
All I can say is now she is one scary looking 45-year-old. 45 is the new 65. Isn't supposed to be the other way around?
Off topic but:
ReplyDeleteLevi Johnston Slammed by Sarah Palin and Family (by Kimberly Ripley)
http://tinyurl.com/68qzmj3
I was about to go to bed until I saw this!
-Colleen
Oh, Gryph, you have to link to this Funny or Die video staring Callista Gingrich.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f6ced6e10a/future-first-lady-callista-gingrich
LOL.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that came to mind was that she was on drugs.
The next was Stepford wife.
But botox and just plain crazy works too.
Do we really want this woman as our First Lady?
Hey, be fair. She's gotta sty young & perky looking or "Adonis" will get all patriotic and start shopping around for a newer model!
ReplyDeleteCome on. Whatever the wife looks like doesn't matter. What does matter is that Newt is a hypocritical S.O.B.
ReplyDeleteWaking up to a face like that should even scare the likes of Newtie. That is,if he even shares the same bed.
ReplyDeleteIn all fairness to Newt, she looked GOOD from the view he had (the BACK of her head)Just think, he divorced his previous wife because she was "not pretty enough to be First Lady" So this "handsome hunk" thinks the scary, adulterous Callista IS pretty enough? What a charming couple they make.
ReplyDeleteAll those uber-conservative wimmen have those batshit crazy Stepford Wives eyes, don't they?
ReplyDeleteBefore I saw your post, I was just saying to my husband that Newt's wife looks like The Joker, and googled this very picture to prove my point. Lo and behold, I wake up this morning to this post, with The Joker's face superimposed on hers, really, you can't tell the difference between the two. Scary....
ReplyDeleteElle in MI
All of you guys are an absolute riot! @9:31..I almost spit out my coffee.
ReplyDeleteSome things are too horrific to be in print!
ReplyDeleteThese comments are so cruel. So wrong. And so funny!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, that is the look of a woman who knows that if she gets a wrinkle Newt will renounce Catholicism and will leave her for wife number four.
ReplyDeleteDammit, Gryph. Mrs G isn't the one running for office. And there's plenty to nail on ol' Newt already.
ReplyDeleteAltho re his wife? I wonder if she's ever heard the saying "If he cheated [on his wife] with you, he'll cheat on you, too." Talk about "establishing a pattern," he's got that one down pat.
Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum anyone?
ReplyDeleteTo me it looks like she might have hyperthyroidism. She should get to a doctor.
ReplyDeleteWow...just wow!
ReplyDeleteShe looks like a Lich!
ReplyDeleteI think it's sad what she's done to her face--as sad as Bristol.
ReplyDeleteI see women in L.A. who all look alike--faces too tight, too much pillow-face Botox. It makes me appreciate my own mother, in her mid-70's, who has never had anything done, looks her age, and is STILL complimented on how pretty she is. And it's her real face.
In my own case, I don't work on camera, and I'm sure I'd be very dismayed if I had to see myself photographed constantly these days. But I would get a trainer & a stylist/make-up artist (as I've done in the past) and work on it for six months.
It's impossible to not belly-laugh every time I look at the photo of Mrs. Gingrich. Maybe that look isn't accidental - maybe #1 or #2 told #3 "don't take you eyes off of him if you want to keep him" and she took the advice seriously.
ReplyDeleteSharon1943
BLOW UP DOLL are the words I think you're reaching for.... BLOW UP DOLL..
ReplyDelete$79 on eBay.... free shipping..
Damn, she is one ugly woman and she was totally ignorant to marry Newt.
ReplyDeleteI feel a little bad about this. Newtie is a despicable person, and deserves mockery.
ReplyDeleteCallista is probably equally culpable for inserting herself as an equal partner in the couple's propaganda efforts.
I also find her self-image bizarre to say the least - how can someone grow to adulthood in the '80s and emerge at the age of 45 looking like a well-preserved dowager of 60? Did she skip her youth entirely?
But I am becoming more and more uncomfortable with cruel "lookist" jokes about her. It's not that unlike the vile and nasty jokes the right wing make about Michelle Obama.
I'm perfectly willing to slam her on the nonsense messages she puts out, but let's not make fun of the woman's face.
Wow, anonymous 11:55! Is that really Callista? So sad, she was so pretty.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking that it was mean to attack the 'non-political' spouse but I just don't care with this cheating, adulterous, lying spouse. So bring it on!
ReplyDeleteThat face is frightening. And then there's his wife!
ReplyDeleteIt's not really fair to put up that particular picture. It's a really bad picture of her. Haven't we all had snaps taken that we wish we could take back? I do think she'd look a lot better if she'd lay off the bleach. Speaking as an experienced blonde, that hair is scary...and could crack off at any moment. I feel sorry for her...in a way. She was really young when she hooked up (literally) with this sleazeball. Apparently, they are joined at the hip. I guess she's determined not to let him stray on HER.
ReplyDeleteI know we all have really bad photos now and then, but---
ReplyDeletedoes that picture scare the living shit out of anyone else?
Nah at 11:28 a.m., not just a bad picture of Callista. Check out this different picture that the New York Times has up.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/weekinreview/15stolberg.html?hp
I think it's poetic karma that Newt kept dumping the wives for younger models and finally ended up with one 22 years his junior, but who actually looks about 65!
Maybe Callista should sue her plastic surgeon.
I thought she was in her 60s,
ReplyDeletethen I googled her, she is in
her 40s. Yikes. Why would a
30/40-something woman want Newt?
Or Rush Limbaugh? Or Fred
Thompson? Do these women have
a thing for old guys? Or fat guys?
Or married guys? Oh, you don't
think it is about money, do you?
Surely not. Would you raise Rush's
belly to get to his peen for
any amount of money? Rush IS a
FUP.
In this picture, she has the appearance of a department store window mannequin--"window dressing" with a "dummy"--a model of a human figure for displaying clothes. The hair looks as synthetic as she does. Anyone who would hook up with Gingrich is going to be automatically scrutinized and stimatized, and why not...the guy is a recycled scandalized slimeball who has reinvented himself and is now running for president.
ReplyDeletePer Esquire, remember this:
"It doesn’t matter what I do,” he answered. “People need to hear what I have to say. There’s no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn’t matter what I live.”
http://www.esquire.com/features/newt-gingrich-0910
Scary eyes! Scary eyes!
ReplyDeleteAre we still going to hear about how booty-ful Republican women are?
There should be some kind of warning you could put up before posting that first photo- barf bag alert.
ReplyDeleteShame she did this, the links in the comments show she looked pretty normal-ish before.
Caption
"Newtie and the Blowfish"
My 2 cents,
Sleep with one eye open, platic woman, oh wait, you already do, don't know what to tell ya!
A Stepford wife if I ever saw one.
ReplyDeleteThis is far worse that having rap singer Common at the White House!
ReplyDeleteWhether you support Newt Gingrich or not - this is just too funny!
ReplyDeleteIs she caught in someone's headlights??
Now children...Mrs. Gingrich will read you all a bedtime story.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you exactly what she has had done. Nose job, eye lift ( though a poor one ), Botox, and a Laser peal. Notice the shine off her skin. After you get a laser peal your face essentially is nothing but scar tissue, and you won't be able to get a tan after that.
ReplyDelete