Going all in as her mother's surrogate, Bristol Palin bemoans the fact that the President has not called her like he did Sandra Fluke. Yes, you read that right.

The evolution of Bristol

Courtesy of Bristol Palin's Nancy French's blog:

 Dear President Obama, 

You don’t know my telephone number, but I hope your staff is busy trying to find it. Ever since you called Sandra Fluke after Rush Limbaugh called her a slut, I figured I might be next. You explained to reporters you called her because you were thinking of your two daughters, Malia and Sasha. After all, you didn’t want them to think it was okay for men to treat them that way: 

“One of the things I want them to do as they get older is engage in issues they care about, even ones I may not agree with them on,” you said. “I want them to be able to speak their mind in a civil and thoughtful way. And I don’t want them attacked or called horrible names because they’re being good citizens.” 

And I totally agree your kids should be able to speak their minds and engage the culture. I look forward to seeing what good things Malia and Sasha end up doing with their lives. 

But here’s why I’m a little surprised my phone hasn’t rung. Your $1,000,000 donor Bill Maher has said reprehensible things about my family. He’s made fun of my brother because of his Down’s Syndrome. He’s said I was “f—-d so hard a baby fell out.” (In a classy move, he did this while his producers put up the cover of my book, which tells about the forgiveness and redemption I’ve found in God after my past – very public — mistakes.)

The post goes not from there desperately trying to shame the President, who by the way has NO control over the SuperPAC that received Bill Maher's money, to give the money back. And then, since she is her mother's daughter, ending with THIS dig.


I’m not expecting your SuperPAC to return the money. You’re going to need every dime to hang on to your presidency. I’m not even really expecting a call. But would it be too much to expect a little consistency? After all, you’re President of all Americans, not just the liberals.

Now its time for a little reality check, or as the Palins call it "makin' stuff up."

First the President CANNOT give back the money that Maher donated to this SuperPAC. The money is spent by people who support him, but it is not money that he or his campaign have any access to.

Second, if during the 2008 campaign President Obama, then Senator Obama, had NOT told the press that "kids were off limits" there is a very strong chance they would have followed up on the Trig birth story, discovered the secret you are still trying to keep hidden, and embarrassed the McCain campaign into flying your whole family back to Alaska and pushing you out over Lake Lucille hopefully to never see any of you again. (Which by the way is something I still think many of the staff wish they could have done.)

Third the President called Sandra Fluke because she was a private citizen speaking about women's health, NOT about her or anybody else's sex life, and she was attacked in a very coordinated, and purposefully disgusting, effort by the Right Wing attack machine. YOU were dragged into the public spotlight by your fame whore of a mother, and became fodder for comedians the world over.

And fourth I know that you and your mother desperately want to be like me, by starting blogs and stating facts that inform and sway public opinion, but you will never be like me because I write MY OWN materiel. I don't require the help of a ghostwriter to put my thoughts in some coherent order or help me spell those difficult two syllable words.

What is more, when I helped Sadie with her blog, that was all her writing! She did not have to write what her controlling mother forced her to write, or put forward a political agenda in order to earn the right to stay in the family fold. No she wrote what she wanted to write, and I helped by editing it a little while always maintaining HER authentic voice.

Oh and while we are on the subject, NOBODY is fooled into believing that "ShePAC"  (Whose video is prominently displayed on this latest post) is not simply a renaming of the now barely supported "SarahPAC." We picked up on that almost immediately, just like we knew that when Blackwater changed its name to Xe Services, and then later to "Academi, it was still the same trigger happy group of thugs that randomly killed Iraqis and ran over civilians without a second thought. Different name, same crap product.

Here is what I find quite entertaining about all of this. Sarah Palin was revealed to be a duplicitous, back stabbing, fame whore by the Alaskan bloggers. In retaliation she hired C4P blogger Rebecca Mansour to help her fight fire with fire, which materialized as notes on her Facebook page and ghostwritten tweets.

Now that fewer and fewer people are paying attention to her rantings on Facebook she recruits her now malleable daughter (Humbled and easily manipulated since her book and reality show career are currently on life support) into becoming the public face for a new blog written by Nancy French in which the Grizzled Mama can now attack the President and her critics with impunity, while staying in the shadows.

So essentially Palin has become SO obsessed with the blogs that she is now pushing family members into getting online and fighting for the Palin cause as well.

One has to wonder how much longer it will be before we see "Willow's Wailings" where the wild child head bangs a post out in her Wasilla bedroom to be edited later by Randy Scheunemann?  Or before we are subjected to "Todd's Totally True Tidbits" typed out by poking the keyboard with his tiny two toned penis and then edited by Meg Stapletongue? My only hope is that they spare Trig from the same fate, though I imagine in HIS case he could probably manage to write his own material.

Let's be honest for a minute, there is now NO doubt that the bloggers live rent free in the Palin family's empty little noggins 24/7, and that they are now DESPERATELY trying to out perform us at our own game. Which just makes the fact that they cannot even do THAT without substantial support from more intelligent people all the more sad and pathetic.

P.S. The above post was written by Gryphen, and ONLY by Gryphen, with no help whatsoever except from a strong cup of coffee and his lucky blogging pajama bottoms.

I'm just saying.