You KNOW it's 2012 when you have NFL players taking on politicians over gay marrriage. Yeah, you read that right!

Okay so the above picture is of a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens named Brendon Ayanbadejo who has been an outspoken advocate of marriage equality in this country.

Well apparently this chafed a certain Maryland politician/minister's nutsack so much that he wrote the following letter demanding that the NFL shut Avanbadeio up about his support for them gay folk:

Now Avanbadeio responded the following in a tweet: "Football is just my job it's not who I am. I am an American before anything. And just like every American I have the right to speak!!!"

And THAT might have been where this story ended.  Except THIS is 2012, and WE are in the middle of an unstoppable social change in this country.  So instead of this remaining an unfortunate little story about a linebacker and a politician arguing about who can say what in this country and when, there was ANOTHER NFL player who was going to make this a MUCH bigger story.



Enter Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe.

Chris Kluwe did NOT take very kindly to this Maryland politician/minister essentially telling somebody to shut up, and decided to fire off his OWN letter in defense of his fellow NFL player. (Okay now before you read this let me warn you that Mr. Kluwe has a rather "colorful" vocabulary. Now most of you are longtime IM readers so you should be fine, but you still might find your eyes going wide one or more times. I'm just saying.)  

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr., 

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words): 

1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit. 

2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism"). 

3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.) 

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you? 

In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it. 

Sincerely, Chris Kluwe

Daaammmnnn!

I really do not have much more to add to that. Essentially Mr. Kluwe expressed my feelings, and THEN SOME.

However I would simply like to express how much fun it is to be involved in politics and the fight for social change in this country at this time. We as a people are making incredible advances in our humanity, our tolerance, and our understanding of our fellow man/woman, and it is AWESOME!