Friday, November 16, 2012

I guess Twinkies don't last forever.

Courtesy of NBC News:

Hostess Brands, baker of iconic Twinkies cakes, said Friday it asked a court's permission to shut down the entire company after a strike crippled its operations. 

The move shuts down one of the nation's oldest and largest producers of baked goods. Founded in 1930, it produces such well-known brands, aside from Twinkies, as Ding-Dongs, Ho Ho's, Sno Balls and Donettes, not to mention Wonder bread, which the company says is the best-selling white bread in the United States. 

In a statement, Hostess said its bakery operations have been suspended at all plants and that it would lay off most of its 18,500 workers to focus on selling its assets. It said it has filed a motion with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court seeking permission to close its business and sell its assets, including 33 bakeries and 565 distribution centers. 

Among those assets: the recipes for its well-known brands, especially the spongy, cream-filled Twinkie, which holds a special place in America's culinary history. Over the years, it has been vilified by nutritionists, but it remains widely loved by snackers. 

CEO and chairman Gregory F. Rayburn told CNBC that he was hopeful the company could sell its brands. 

The company said it would continue to deliver products and its stores would remain open for several days to sell already-baked products. 

A world without Twinkies, oh God the humanity!

You know I was just sitting here trying to remember when was the LAST time I ate a Twinkie. To the best of my recollection it HAS to be at least twenty five years ago.

I am a pretty healthy eater for the most part, and long ago eschewed processed white flour products except on rare occasions. (You know like birthday parties or weekend McDonald runs.)

Still the idea that there might no longer exist on this planet the fluffy white, cream filled, taste treat known as the Twinkie (Not to mention the Ding-Dong, Sno Ball, or Ho-Hos) is somewhat sad to me.

On the other hand perhaps that marketing niche can be filled with actual food this time. You know whole wheat muffins, or honey sweetened Baklava, or something that does not take minutes off of your life as you chew it. That would be good, right?

I just have to wonder if as we get down to the last Twinkie on earth, we are not plunged into a Zombie apocalypse hell-scape as depicted in the film Zombieland? Could happen.

Perhaps, in the end, civilization in this country is only tenuously held together with preservative riddled sponge cake and vanilla flavored marshmallow creme.


  1. Anonymous6:29 AM

    Gryphen you are so funny.

    There is nothing to worry about.

    I have it on very good authority that zombies prefer mallomars, so there.

    1. Mallomars? Well that is troubling.

      I remember when Zombies avoided processed foods and went straight for the brains.

      I blame zombie marketing.

    2. Anita Winecooler8:56 PM

      True, but have you seen what passes for brains in some parts of the world, and one compound in wasilla?

    3. Anonymous10:24 AM

      OT: but RMoney related
      The Rightwing lie about a Union strike closing Hostess.
      This is a Bain-like situation, this article and video
      explains it well
      Hostess: A Lesson In Blaming Unions For Your Failures

      Since most rw are dumbshits who believe anything fox news spews, Unions (who support POTUS) this plays right into their hands and a shitty company who no one every ate tier crap, except rw inbreds anyway!

  2. Anonymous6:30 AM

    "You know I was just sitting here trying to remember when was the LAST time I ate a Twinkie. To the best of my recollection it HAS to be at least twenty five years ago."

    I bet you parts of it are still lurking in your colon. :-D

  3. Anonymous6:31 AM

    Losing twinkies is no big deal, Gryphen, but I would say that the loss of over 18,000 jobs would be.

    1. Anonymous10:52 AM

      Its called "unionbusting" and they will just reopen with a new "name" that (conveniently) bought ho-hos etc.
      Make no mistake this is Union busting, and just like the bastards "Papa John" can give away a million pizza's but can't pay for Obamacare...
      These bastards would have us back in "The Jungle" if they could and I urge everyone who has a job in a big company to try to unionize or you will see more and more of this bullshit.
      It cost them nothing to shut down and re-invent themselves and write it all off!
      And rehire people for minimum wage.
      Most of us don't eat that crap, I can't even call it "Food" so doesn't bother me at all, just the peeps who will lose their jobs.
      You know what would be funny? It the court said NO, they can't go bankrupt!
      But of course its easy for these bastards to go bankrupt but they've made it harder for you or I!

  4. Anonymous6:39 AM

    Oh no, where will Willow and Bristol get their favorite snacks? They will have Pregnancy Cravings
    for their missing TWINKIES and DING DONGS.

    1. Sally in MI7:20 AM

      Never fear. Sarah is on her way to Sam's Club as we speak to fill up get freezer with Hostess goodies. She just has to move the three pounds of moose meat to the back.

    2. Anita Winecooler9:00 PM

      They don't need refrigeration - They're chock full of preservatives. Willing to bet a grand in monopoly money, some have been on the shelves since 1992!

  5. Anonymous6:42 AM

    Too bad about the jobs. We hope they are replaced by something that won't cause such high medical bills and kill of so many people.

  6. Leland6:43 AM

    Have they said the reason yet about why they are filing? Are they truly bankrupt or are they just closing down because they know the PEOPLE are going to in control and they are going to be losing a lot of their hidden dealings? Not to mention tax breaks and etc.

    1. Anonymous9:07 AM

      They are closing down the same way Romney closed down factories and manufacturing. Since they can't ship the jobs overseas, they are taking their salaries, bonuses, and other perks and running. The "team" the company hired ripped them off big time. Most of their cash crunch is due to the exorbitant salaries and bonuses the realignment team gave themselves, not the unions they are trying to scapegoat.
      A real shame about the jobs but good riddance to a bunch of shitty products. The saddest thing is, those executives will be hailed and feted and rehired to do the same damned thing somewhere else.

  7. Just because there's no US manufacturer doesn't mean "a world without Twinkies"... we're still making them here in Canada. We can probably set you guys up with a grey market source (just like your prescription drugs we keep selling you).

    Canada... keeping Americans fat for years to come.

    1. Somehow I don't think you are really trying to help.

      Damn shifty Canadians.

    2. abbafan6:06 PM

      Hi Gryphen! Hostess products and Wonder Bread are baked here in Canada under licence. They don't have Ding Dongs here, but King Dons, which look like chocolate hockey pucks. Oh yes... King Dons and Molson Canadian; breakfast of champions!!! P.S. - hey $arah; I know you're reading this - have a Twinkie, you snapperhead!!!

    3. Anita Winecooler9:06 PM

      She's a "Ho Ho's" type of gal, all the Palin ladies! Do they make ho ho's in Canada? They can stock up while they're getting free health care.

      I hope this doesn't cause any tensions with our neighbors to the north, especially the Newfies.

  8. This "sale" is a union busting scam. Bet the company is "bought" by a consortium and the employees will be hired back without union benefits and at a lower wage. It will set the standard for other companies to use to bust the unions.

    1. Dinty7:25 AM

      Yes, the company is currently owned by a private-equity firm that was planning on closing many of the facilities no matter the outcome of it's negotiation with the Union.

    2. Anonymous8:10 AM

      You got it! This is about busting the union....the company would rather shut down then give the employees as raise.

  9. Anonymous6:50 AM

    We still have Little Debbies for that craving..cheaper also too.

  10. Randall7:06 AM

    Yes, he died with his Ding-Dong in his hand.
    He scattered cream-filled cupcakes 'cross the land.
    One of life's great big no-no's:
    he was reachin' for his Ho-Hos,
    And he died with his Ding-Dong in his hand.

    1. Anita Winecooler9:10 PM

      Thanks for the laughs!

  11. I have an artist friend who does Twinkie-related artwork. She said she passed Twinkies out at Burning Man this year; that was her contribution.

    I used to cover Twinkies with frozen/sweetened strawberries and whipped cream; that was my strawberry shortcake. Funny, I was thinner then. Maybe age is a factor (grin).

    1. Anita Winecooler9:15 PM

      My aunt always brings this godawful concoction called a "sunflower cake" It's a small chocolate cake iced in chocolate, surrounded by twinkies that are iced with butter creme frosting tinted yellow.
      I wonder what she'll come up with this Thanksgiving?

  12. hedgewytch7:22 AM

    Twinkies make great fire starters. Especially the ones which have been sitting out for a bit and are a little hard. Just saying...

  13. Anonymous7:39 AM

    I'm surprised not one of you have mentioned Dan White's "Twinkie Defense" in the assassination of Mayor Moscone and Harvey Milk. Some would argue that his actions set off gay activism and made many aware of gays having a political force in our society. That's what I think whenever I see Twinkies. I never buy any of that crap.

    1. I have to admit, that also came to mind. My first thought was "What will they use as a defense now?"

  14. Anonymous8:21 AM

    RIP Twinkies. Bereaved snackers everywhere will always remember. May the fond memories and tasting delights of wolfing down a Twinkie be reminded when gazing at twinkling stars.

  15. Buckeye Bitch8:40 AM

    “I said goodby to them years ago...along with Wonder Bread...always amazed to still see them on the shelf. Actually, I wondered if they were the same ones that I wouldn't buy then...they have a shelf-life of like forever!”

  16. You know with marijuana laws being struck down across the country, what unfortunate timing for Hostess to be planning to close their factories now.

    They stood to make billions of bong water saturated dollars.

    1. Anonymous8:45 AM

      I found myself searching for the "like" button for that comment!

    2. Anita Winecooler9:17 PM

      I wish I'd read it before commenting. I thought the same thing.

  17. Anonymous8:44 AM

    I have a soft spot for twinkies- not that I ever eat them. A good friend died a while back and he was known for dipping twinkies in his Whisky. He was a musician and owned a recording company. I remember late night jam sessions with amazing music, the smell of Lucky Stricks, bottles of Dickle, and twinkie wrappers. For his memorial, I remember loved ones arriving with boxes of twinkies.

    1. vegaslib5:25 PM

      Ah those were the days! My hubby is a musician with thousands of great stories in the recording studios.

      My favorite was when Eddie Money and his band did lines on a beautiful grand piano. My husband and his cohorts called them "the horrible blow peopel".

      I must admit, I don't know what Dikle is. Anyone help me here?

      Twinkies dunked in whiskey is even beyond my imagination! But I'll bet they played some awesome music.

      Love those musicians! Rock on!

    2. Anonymous6:58 PM

      Sorry, pre-coffee typing this morning. Dickel, or George Dickel Tennessee whiskey was the choice for clearing the throat and for dipping Twinkies.

      We currently have an old time musician living in the cottage in our backyard. I love when the band comes over to practice and I'm up in my room working on maps and graphs with the music work happening in the background. It does great things for my focus and concentration.

  18. Anonymous8:46 AM

    if you look into this story a little deeper, you will see this is another "pump and dump" story of the "Bain Capital sort, the company is in the hands of a Rommey type, Tim Collins from New York

    1. Anonymous9:10 AM

      Exactly. The bozos who are claiming poor mouth are making MILLIONS off this deal. Bain redo indeed

  19. Remember the Family Guy episode from 1999 where Twinkies saved the world?

  20. I was never much of a Twinkie eater, but I have indulged in the rare SnoBall. I don't eat them very often as they contain HFCS, as to many of the Hostess baked goods.

    I haven't eaten Wonder Bread in 40 years.

    I am very surprised that no one has stepped in to buy up Hostess and keep these iconic items going. You're telling me Nabisco isn't interested? Kellog? Keebler? Whatever parent companies own them? Kraft?

    I would be very surprised if no one bought the recipes. But the recipes are not the only thing needed. I'm sure there are molds and machines also needed to recreate these baked goods.

    I mourn the loss of my Flaky Flix. The company that made them went out of business and sold off the machine. Mother's bought the rights but the ones they made weren't the same. Now I don't think they are being made at all. They were expensive but such a treat. I used to get a box for Christmas. I must say I miss them more than I'll miss Twinkies.

  21. Anonymous9:18 AM

    Don't worry; those suckers have so many preservatives in them that some will be around somewhere forever. And they won't look a bit different.

    What pisses me off is that these RWNJ are attributing the closing of their plants to the strike. Twinkies have been losing market share for a long time.

    Can we all just stop giving our patronage to these nasty restaurants and food products (I use that term loosely) whose owners are trying to blame their failing businesses on the need to pay their workers a living wage and provide them with benefits, when the problem is they're spending to much on yachts and multiple houses and sparkles for their empty-headed trophy wives?

    And that includes Olive Garden, Gryphen. VERY unhealthy!

  22. The last time I bought one of their cherry pies it was all goo, and 3 - 5 cherries. Ridiculous!

  23. vegaslib9:33 AM

    Certainly sounds like a Bain Capital run company. I'm really sick of the fat cats getting richer and richer at the expense of the hard workers who make these companies possible.

    Luckily, I'm one of the few who can't stand Twinkies, never have, even as a kid. Hubby loves them but can't eat them. There are lots of other goodies out there so the sweet tooth is not in too much trouble.

  24. Anonymous11:02 AM

    No discussion of twinkies is complete without a google to "twinkie defense"

    "The "Twinkie defense" is so ingrained in our culture that it appears in law dictionaries, in sociology textbooks, in college exams and in more than 2, 800 references on Google. Only a few of them call it what it is: a myth.

    Read more:"

  25. Anonymous11:41 AM

    If these no-nutrician, toxic "food" places would go away and places like Papa John Pizza close down that would ease up the health insurance costs.

    Can't we get better jobs for workers? Our infrastructure needs work. People will pay no attention to agriculture and climate change until they don't have the ingredients for Twinkies.
    Climate change is a major challenge for agriculture and food security in West - Research

  26. Anonymous1:10 PM

    Oh, not Hostess Cupcakes, too?? I used to love those, and in the 5th grade it showed...
    Haven't had Hostess Cupcakes, etc., for a long, long time.

  27. Anonymous4:05 PM

    Me and mine bake brownies or chocolate-chip cookies or oatmeal cookies or banana bread (pecans or walnuts optional), or Snickerdoodles. I'd buy a bear claw or a jelly donut (especially apple-filled and cinnamon-sugar coated!).

    Never had a Twinkie, but those Little Debbie Swiss rolls, now that's another story.

  28. emrysa5:11 PM

    I feel sorry for the workers, but let's face it, their products are absolute garbage.

  29. lwtjb7:09 PM

    What's really going on.

  30. Anita Winecooler8:54 PM

    What the hell is going on? Pot gets legalized, and now Twinkies, Donettes, devil dogs and beefy's all time faves "Ho Ho's" are gone? Just joking.

    This absolutely sucks. They've had financial problems for years, but somehow always managed to make a profit. This was done out of spite/hate for the unions. Walmart's treatment of it's employees has become an issue, as well as Papa John and Denny's, who are adding a "surcharge" to cover the "costs" of obamacare. Good Riddance.
    I haven't gone to Denny's because of their mistreatment of African American and Hispanic workers, haven't gone to Papa Johns because it's owner is a rwnj, and I don't do Walmart because of it's entire business plan and the cheap crap they sell.
    I'd rather save and buy quality goods. They last longer, launder well, and save money in the long run.

  31. Anonymous3:38 PM

    It was Romney Vulture Capitalist Style Management that Killed Hostess, Not Unions


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