Friday, December 21, 2012

I was going to post something, but why bother since the earth has undoubtedly come to an end? After all, if you can't trust a Mayan just who CAN you trust?

So I am robo-posting this in anticipation that the earth just exploded and I have finally returned to the stardust from whence I come. However I realize that due to the time zones I may in fact be among the LAST people to realize that the earth done gone boom.

So anyhow if any of you wake up and realize that all of the predictions were the result of a bunch of overly excitable ignoramuses let me know and I will continue to do what I do.

I think my personal philosophy at times like this is best summed up by one Colonel Nick Fury.



  1. Don't you just love it!? So many really dumb people in the world. By the way, three weeks or three months or one year's worth of food will only get people so far and then what are they going to do? Especially if they don't have seeds or a way to till the land and water it, especially if the land is no longer good for growing food. It will just take them a little longer to go than the rest of us. The way I look at it, when my time is up, it's up and there anything I can do about it. In the meantime, I will continue to love life, love family and love friends and the think the best about the world that we live in.

  2. Anonymous1:43 AM

    I am in Japan and it's almost the 22nd here.
    So far, so good.
    Keep spinning!

  3. jesse, sorry,

    BUT the can't trust "a mayan" thing (even when very sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek) really verges on ignorant/xenophobic offensive once you realize that over 7 million ethnic mayans exist today throughout central america, and live normal human lives right now.....

    they are not a mythic "thing" we can all mock, but a "first nations" type people who have persisted into the current day against grave odds, maintaining elements of pre-colonial cultures and many languages too.

    blame the current apocalyptic hubbub on stupid new-agers of all stripes and colors co-opting a vaguely mayan idea, but don't lay it on the actual maya people, past or present.

    oh, and neither these people NOR scholars (some of whom are ethnically maya) who actually focus on the history and language of the mayan culture think the world will end today, so that's nice. :)

    -any fact above can be easily checked with a quick google, if anyone cares.

    1. Anonymous7:27 AM

      I've read that the Guatemalan Mayans are pretty annoyed at all the hubbub (don't blame them) but the Mexicans have collected $15B so far from apocalypse tourism.

    2. Anonymous9:25 AM

      Last time we were in Belize we did a 4-day birding tour through the jungle and our guide was Mayan and we spent many hours talking to him about his culture. Fascinating people mainly because they maintain such a pure cultural and race identity and take great pride in this. Through all of the invasions and land grabs in Mexico and South America many Mayans remain purely Mayan.

  4. Irishgirl2:46 AM

    We're ok in this part of the world you'll be glad to hear - or maybe you won't. :)

  5. The Mayans had many marks for the end of the world on their calendar. These were calls for a new beginning not a total end of all things. They believed in the world's renewal not in its destruction. The Mayan civilization no longer exists (which is one big reason that they stopped charting the calendar) but the earth remained. Things change...and sometimes they end...but the earth constantly renews sometimes through destructive events like floods and volcanic activity...just as the Mayans believed.

  6. for perspective, there are roughly 10-times more living mayans out there than living alaskans: over 7,000,000 vs. a bit over 700,000 (so 7-8 million vs. around 722,000, but you get the idea).

    so, to talk about "the maya" as "an idea" merely representing a fully long-gone culture and people (perhaps like "the ancient sumerians") is both weird and belittling, see?

    this current "world's ending" BS is doing the ACTUAL mayan people -current and past- NO favors (discounting a bit of apocalypse tourism, but this has mostly been a financial boon to mexico, belize, and guatemala as states, not to individual mayan persons).

    i hope you'll recognize that. and that the way we all talk about this may ultimately mean very little, but having some knowledge and respect for the current maya people doesn't cost us non-maya a thing, so why the hell not embrace it?

    1. Boscoe4:32 AM


      Also, "Mayan end of the world day" is an AWESOME excuse for a party. People are too damn serious anymore.

    2. Anonymous9:16 AM


      It WAS a great excuse for a party and I'm still drunk from last night :-)

  7. Anonymous3:29 AM

    This is NOT a joke, people. You folks in Alaska had better start running west real fast, then swim like hell to the International Dateline. It's your only hope!!!!!1!

    1. Anonymous11:05 AM

      Melting ice, earthquakes and tsunamis will finish off places like Alaska. Except for the Palins who will escape to their Arizona beach front property.

    2. Anonymous12:53 PM

      Agreed. And this is why, in light of the Mayan calendar catastrophe, I am moving to Arizona with Sarah Palin. And so should you. (Bonus: two really hot ex-governors.)


  8. News from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada: No end of the world, but a snowstorm started last night that is forecast to dump two inches an hour today. Very pretty!

  9. Anonymous5:43 AM

    Here is the truth:
    The calendar maker was hard at work on his craft when his wife told him to take out the trash. He quit working on his calendar and took the trash into the jungle where he was eaten by an an animal. His buddy calendar maker said the calendar was cursed and he was not going to work on it. So it stopped on Dec 21, 2012.

    Moral of my story: If he can say the world is going to end all those century ago, I can make up how he fuck up all those century ago.

  10. GODUS6:13 AM

    Actually the world did end last night as you were sleeping.
    Today begins a whole new reality.
    Have a nice day!

  11. Anonymous8:02 AM

    Just checked a live web cam in London, UK. The city is still there. You know, I should have bought stocks in Heinz Baked Beans...I'd have cleaned up by now.

    1. No baked beans in my bunker!

      That'll get ya tossed out just as fast as dipping Skoal or throwing tennis balls at me while I'm jogging on the treadmill.

      No horsing around in the bunker. This is serious, cuz Obama is gonna take our guns away from us!!! According to Glenn Beck.

  12. Anonymous8:16 PM

    What happened to the policescanner? Did it go the way of the Mayans?

  13. Anonymous8:17 PM

    Heavens to Betsy!

  14. Anonymous8:25 PM

    Come down; come down from your ivory tower; let love come into your heart

    Catch the wave per se.


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