A security guard in Trinidad and Tobago has been hospitalized after accidentally shooting his own penis off with a .38 caliber handgun.
The Trinidad and Tobago Guardian reports that the unidentified 33-year-old Lopinot resident was rushed to the San Fernando General Hospital on Sunday suffering from a gunshot wound that obliterated his manhood.
According to the Guardian, a Rio Claro resident called police around 8 a.m. after to report hearing a gunshot coming from a parked car. Officers responding to the call found the man slumped over behind the steering wheel. He was bleeding from a wound in his groin and a .38 pistol was found in his pocket.
It was later determined that the man did not have a permit for the handgun. Authorities say he will likely be charged with illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition when he recovers.
There are a lot of really mean spirited jokes that I feel are appropriate here, however I am so tightly curled into the fetal position at the very thought of being shot in my happy place that I just cannot seem to think of one.
Now of course this incident happened in Trinidad and not America. But if as Americans you are feeling left out, don't worry it has happened in this country more than a few times.
Once in Florida in 2010,
Again in 2010, this time in Seattle, where the man missed his penis but did manage to exercise his 2nd Amendment rights on his testicles.
And then again in Arizona in 2011,where the genius also managed to blow the damn thing completely off. (Fun fact: It was his girlfriend's gun.)
You know I cannot speak for these gentleman, but the only "accidental discharge" I want associated with my penis is the one that forces me to change my sheets, NOT one that forces me to change my gender.
I'm just saying.