Elizabeth Smart became a household name after she was kidnapped from her home in Salt Lake City, UT at the age of 14 and held in captivity for nine months. She was forced into a polygamous marriage, tethered to a metal cable, and raped daily until she was rescued from her captors nine months later. Smart was recovered while she and her kidnappers were walking down a suburban street, leading many Americans who followed her story on the national news to wonder: Why didn’t she just run away as soon as she was brought outside?
Speaking to an audience at Johns Hopkins about issues of human trafficking and sexual violence, Smart recently offered an answer to that question. She explained that some human trafficking victims don’t run away because they feel worthless after being raped, particularly if they have been raised in conservative cultures that push abstinence-only education and emphasize sexual purity:
Smart said she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”
Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.
“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you no longer have worth, you no longer have value,” Smart said. “Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value.”
A "chewed up piece of gum." A "life with no value." That is simply heartbreaking!
To think that a young woman might think she had no further value if she were raped or had given into temptation and engaged in premarital sex, due this primitive form of sex education is shameful.
Can you imagine feeling as if you were a possession that nobody would want because the seal had been broken, or because you were somehow made un-pure? That is not how a human being should feel.
What happened to Elizabeth Smart is horrible, but the fact that he shame was amplified by her strict upbringing is just as horrible.
This is a strong, smart young woman; I’m glad she’s found her voice. I think she’ll make a difference in the world. And yes, I also thank her parents (they reconsidered their training and took her back).
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should add, I don’t think HER parents would ever kick a child to the curb.
DeleteI believe the majority of parents, regardless of their religious beliefs, wouldn't kick their child to the curb. I was raised by catholic parents who not only supported me when I came out as bisexual., but they also stood by me as I was excommunicated by the church. I myself am also not religious.
DeleteI feel that parents who turn a cold should to their children based on things out of their control, such as rape or sexual orientation, are just BAD parents.
Unfortunately, Chella, there appear to be a LOT of bad parents around! Far more good ones than bad, but still....
DeleteI am very happy for you that you are fortunate enough to have a pair of the good ones! Congratulations.
And I admire your strength of character to "kick to the curb" that you were excommunicated. Kudos to you and them!!!!!!
thank you leland. my parents attended catholic school, went to church every sunday, yet they still supported me, their crazy whirlwind of a daughter, when the very church they were raised in told me to 'turn my back on my sinful ways, or continue to deny gods love for me'
Deleteand i wear my badge of excommunication proudly!
Chella, Gryphen--
DeleteThe lesson Ms Smart is referring to is a Church lesson, not a school lesson. I'm sure she has her reasons for being vague about it (speakers and scholars who are critical of the Mormon Church are excommunicated), but the "chewed gum lesson" is also known as the "licked cupcake lesson." One of the Mormon leaders, Spencer W Kimball, actually stated that if you are raped, you had better die defending your carnal treasure or else you did not put up enough of a struggle and thus would be expected to repent of your sin because you were willing. I shit you not. One of the many reasons I left the Church I was born and raised in.
She is incredibly brave, and smart (no pun intended) to have the courage to speak out about human and sex trafficing.
ReplyDeleteThis is someone who should speak on authority of youth sexuality, not some drop-out, wine-cooler bimbo.
How lucky we are that she feels strong enough and worthwhile to speak out on this issue.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful young lady, and she is very brave to speak out on such a personal issue. I think that it is part of her healing, and I wish her all the best.
ReplyDeleteI admire this brave young woman. She reminds us that Taiban extremist theology is not limited to Afghanistan.
ReplyDeleteShe is a real profile in courage.
ReplyDeleteSo many things impact a rape victims thinking, not just upbringing. That's why it's so very important not to put requirements on rape victims. People say things like "well she should have reported it to the police if she wants an abortion". They don't realize (or want to admit) the complexities of the situation faced by a rape victim (who might be in total denial).
Thanks to Elizabeth Smart. She if beautiful, intelligent and obviously has some wonderful people surrounding her. My hat’s off to her very reasoned response to a paternalistic culture of shame that only perpetuates the very act of rape.
ReplyDeleteAny bets on how long it will be before Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter takes it upon themselves to belittle and insult this young woman? I'll give it a day or two.
ReplyDeleteThat would never happen.
DeleteReligious fundamentalism isn't a"strict" upbringing, Gryphen. Ir is whackadoodle child abuse. We are a progressive Dem family and by many standards are "strict with the kids. They have chores; not doing has consequences - usually a privilege revoked. Doing well in school is expected, as is politeness. There is nothing wrong with being STRICT; there s everything wrong with making a natural inclination and curiosity a "sin."
ReplyDeleteAmen. We practice the same religion.
DeleteThere is no religious indoctrination in our family. Children are people not property. There is no corporal punishment. There are daily dinnertime discussions - of everything under the sun.
The upside of being raised by shitty parents and the nhaving your own kids later in life (after getting educated and traveling) is you can do it better for your own kids!
You are correct in every word you have written.
DeleteThe gum analogy makes perfect sense. We, as a society, need to higher the bar in regard to sex education for all our kids. Stigmatizing sexuality and teaching abstinence are the root of the problem.
ReplyDeleteHer eloquence and willingness to speak her truth is an inspiration.
The analogy she's referring to is a lesson taught to girls as young as 12 in the Mormon Church. They are legitimately brainwashed; told they must marry a return missionary and have as many children as they are physically able to. They are taught that pursuing an education is selfish because being a mother is the greatest gift God can bestow upon you. You are taught your sole purpose in life is to be an incubator and a warm hole for your lordly husband, who you will obey in all things.
DeleteAs a young woman, you are taught that without your chastity, without your innocence and virginity, NO ONE will love you. NO ONE will want you. I think you misread the analogy to be appreciating it. It's not a simple analogy, it is the hallmark of what was all but beat into us Mormons at a very young age.
Mormon teachings about sex are traumatizing and insane. When I was in the church, they taught girls that premarital sex was second only to murder. MURDER! Imagine being told that year after year at an impressionable age. Then once you're married, this filthy, sinful, second only to murder act now becomes a sacred expression of love and are expected to fulfill God's purpose for you in life. Now you are a co-creator with Christ. Go out and have a quiverfull.
ReplyDeleteYoung men don't fare too much better. The solution to the sin of masturbation according to one of the General Authorities at the time was to tie one hand to the bed and hold the Book of Mormon in the other. After high school, these 18 and 19 year old boys are expected to spend the next two years of their lives on a mission in constant companionship with another male, 24 hours a day, never separated for two YEARS! And remember, homosexuality is a perversion and sin that will cost you your eternal salvation, and your parents as well. Upon upon completion of their mission, they are told to be married within 6 months to one of those traumatized women mentioned above.
Utah has the highest rates of teen suicide and depression in middle-aged women in the nation. The brethren can't understand why.
They do and also they have the highest per capita female consumption of anti- depressants as well. After your child bearing years are over, you are exactly like that overly chewed piece of gum. The men just down load porn by the gigabyte full.
DeleteWhen we lived in UT (we are not LDS), my OB/GYN asked if I was okay that my daughter was in school. I said sure, now I can head up to Alta every day and ski my ass off. He was so pleased and told me that it was nice to hear one of his patients say that instead of ask for something to ease the pain of not being a 24/7 mommy anymore (which is all a woman is worth in that culture).
anon 3:01am
DeleteYou are very misinformed as to what the culture of an LDS woman really is. I suggest you do more research before commenting on anything referring to the LDS. Elizabeth Smart served a mission and is still very active in her church. In fact education for all LDS, men and women, is not only encouraged but is one of the most important parts of the LDS culture. Elizabeth Smart is a perfect example of an LDS woman, well spoken, refined, and a smart individual capable of her own thoughts and beliefs. There are many BRILLIANT LDS women that not only have a career but a family as well. So please do not comment on something you are obviously very uneducated about.
Colad!!!!!
DeleteWow there are others on this blog that dont have their heads up Gryphens ass! I feel as though im in the presence of greatness. Thats right Colad put you shoulder to the wheel! And yes the majority of you have NO idea what an LDS woman is or what she stands for.
COALD 5:46
DeleteYou can take that comment and shove it. I was born and raised in the Mormon Church. I was surrounded by all the perfect Mormon mommies with their perfect Mormon children-- and years later you hear the whispers of the mental breakdowns. Utah DOES have the highest anti-depressant use per capita, I suggest YOU look it up (oh, who am i kidding, you'll go to a mormon apology website and go on living in your bubble of cognitive dissonace: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18563_162-510918.html). Utah had such a high rate of teen suicide that the governor actually put together a commission to find out what the hell was going on. They are also one of the top ten states for spousal abuse and child abuse. Considering 90%+ of the Utah population is Mormon, it's very telling.
Of COURSE Mormon women seem so cultured and happy and put together. As children you're told your appearance is of the utmost importance. I remember reading the New Era article about how I was supposed to be wearing makeup so that I could look beautiful for return missionaries-- that it was my responsibility to look pretty.
The quest for perfection is impossible in the Church. As a teen, being a 4.0 student (having already won a full scholarship to the local college by the time I was a freshman through an art competition) with a full time job was not enough. I developed an eating disorder. The bishop later told me that I would be excommunicated if I could not recover from anorexia. That was the final straw for me, and I left.
Today I'm a college-educated woman married to the atheist who took my virginity. I am finally able to smile and mean it. When I see people from high school, they say they don't recognize me because I'm actually smiling. Leaving Mormonism was the best thing i could have ever done for myself.
I completely agree that many, many LDS women are smart, strong, and powerful.
DeleteBut I would like to know how LDS women reconcile this power with their position in the church. I've read around a few message boards frequented by LDS women out of curiosity.
Power and opportunity for men and women in the LDS church seems to be a matter of separate but (questionably) equal.
Anon 9:09
DeleteI am an LDS woman. I am not from Utah nor have I ever been there so I do not know if your statistics hold any truth. I wont be looking it up on a Mormon website...ass.
There are LDS women all over the world and you are taking us and lumping us into this sterotypical pile of bullshit.
I am sorry you had such a terrible experience while being brought up in the church.
Not everyone shares your experience, I have had the best life (and guess what? no anti depressants!) and I am now raising my children in the church.
You are describing us as a whole and making us out to be mindless slaves to our men. I guess your family was a bit extreme?!? maybe FLDS?
I am very active in my Church and a Relief Society teacher, and guess what? I have a mind of my own....I even believe in...wait for it......GAY RIGHTS!!!!! I do not follow every single thing the Church puts out there and they know I do not and I have never been asked to leave. It is just like any other Christian religion, you take away what you want from it, whatever helps you through life and draws you closer to God.
Anon9:23
DeleteThank you for acknowledging that we are not a bunch of mindless baby machines.
The LDS Church is headed by men much like the Catholic Church and most traditional Christian religions.
The big difference is no one our church gets a salary. Outside of the church everybody has their own career, everyone comes from different walks of life.
In my experience I have never been made to feel I am beneath any of the men in my church. There is no power struggle.
Church is 3 hours long and during that time there is a sacrament meeting and then two classes. During one of those classes we are separated but not one class has more power over the other.
There are many talks during sacrament meeting, given by both men and women of the church. we are never preached to just by the male leaders of the church. You can be a strong opinionated successful woman and most LDS women are.
Anon 8:15 am
DeleteAmen:)
Glad I am not alone!
COALD @10:30 -
DeleteYour second sentence says it all - "I am not from Utah..."
Everyone here in Utah knows there are 2 kinds of Mormons - those who grow up here in Zion and those who are "in the mission field". And non-Mormons as well as Mormons can tell the difference just by talking to them. It's nice that you feel you can pick and choose which parts of the religion you want to accept and discard those you disagree with, but that is not doctrine. Nice to hear that you are in favor of GAY RIGHTS!!!!!, but sadly, your God still is not. There are quite a number of Mormons out here that belive in GAY RIGHTS!!!!!, in a civil sense but homosexuality is still a perversion and sin and will keep you and your family out of the celestial kingdom.
"It is just like any other Christian religion, you take away what you want form it, whatever helps you through life and draws you closer to God". That is soooo Not from Utah and Doesn't Get It.
And yes, the statistics are true. As a previous commenter said, there really is a Governor's Commission - no one is just making them up. You said you won't be going to any website to look it up - I have no doubt of that.
Just want to send my best wishes to this brave young woman for surviving what she did, reflecting upon it and using her voice to speak to the ways that young women find this kind of treatment deserved in some way. I think it's incredible that she is strong enough to take a stand.
ReplyDeleteWhat a brave young woman and so glad that she is telling it like it is. She is such an inspiration to young women.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am sensitive to the issue of the disappearance of any child, Elizabeth Smart was not the first girl to disappear in Salt Lake nor has she been the last. She was, however, white, blond, and the daughter of financially well-off Mormons. I was offended when a stranger knocked on my door and wanted to look in my basement - he was part of a massive volunteer local manhunt for the girl and they wanted to check "all the nooks and crannies that someone might have missed". Really, I think I would know if Elizabeth Smart was in my basement. I didn't let him in but I told him he could look around my backyard if it made him feel better. There are a lot of refugees in Salt Lake and no one has ever launched a manhunt when one of the poor black girls go missing. Sometimes I only find out about them as a brief mention in the local section of the paper. At least Elizabeth Smart turned up alive.
ReplyDeleteA 12 year old, Laura Smithers, disappeared in Friendswood TX years ago......there was a massive search, even our backyard which was miles away was searched. She was found dead in Pasadena, TX. Little Laura was home schooled, as parents felt she had special talents. She was allowed to jog daily in her safe neighborhood but alas, had she been in public school with the riff raff she'd most likely still been alive and just as talented.
DeleteMs. Smart is helping countless young women..and I thank her for her courage.
i absolutely agree with you. it reminds me of the erica pratt case, a 7 year old girl from philadelphia who was kidnapped and bound by her hands and feet, who freed herself by chewing thru her bindings and smashing a window.
Deleteits called 'missing white woman syndrome'
That is upsetting. Not surprising. Sad. Thanks for having the conviction to point this out. I am not taking anything away from Elizabeth Smart, but you are right, the fact she was white, blond and from a rich family made her "save worthy" . Meanwhile ........
DeleteSo true. In Cleveland a few years ago they found at least 11 bodies at a house of young black women. How could 11 women be missing from an area and there not be a huge FBI/Police activity after the first 1 or 2? Because many of them were prostitutes. That made their lives of less importance than some cute little white girl. They left children, mothers, friends behind.
DeleteThe news from Cleveland today is so much happier although right now it appears the story isn't over.
Fuck off, Gles, you illogical ow-IQ idiot. Homeschooling has NOTHING to do with kidnapping. Same kid coud have been kidnapped - WALKING HOME FROM School
DeleteHey, I calls it like I sees it. Read about this little girl before you spout off.
DeleteThe theory expounded on here about the fact that the police and media give more attention to kidnapped white victims has just been proved. For hours and hours we have been hearing about 2 of the 3 women found at that house in Cleveland. They don't even have a photo of Michele Knight (how could the police have been looking for a woman without a photo?) Just now her uncle was on tv and, guess what? He is black. He said that all along the police have been telling them that she had just run away. Obviously they spent no time at all looking for her. All these years her mother has been searching alone. Shame on the Cleveland Police!
DeleteI admire Ms. Smart's courage. She's a remarkable human being.
ReplyDeleteAbstinence is taught in most religions to this same degree, Catholics for example. So you really can't single this out as being a "Mormon teaching." If you do want to go that route then you also have to acknowledge that Elizabeth Smart has also spoken of the how it was her religious upbringing and the support of her family that has helped her not only deal with the horrific trama she went through but overcome it as well. She has served a mission and is married to a Mormon as well as still being active in her church. It is unfortunate that she was ever made to feel this way and I hope that she brings awareness that abstinence must taught in a different manner in all religions as not to make a sexually abused child ever feel worthless.
ReplyDeleteAs long as religions, like Mormonism and Catholicism remain patriarchal and misogynist,won't happen. EVERY SINGLE ADULT WOMAN who belongs to those religions is complicit in this abuse. GET A CLUE. If women leave, in large enough numbers, they will finally listen. But if your kids and your money go to their churches and their schools, they will never change.
DeleteAnon5:44
DeleteOh Please, you need to get a clue. Organized religion as a whole has its pros and cons like everything else.Teaching abstinence is not a form of abuse, when it is taught right of course. Abstinence should never make a child feel worthless, the gum chewing anology was just plain wrong on the teachers part. It can however, if taught in a positive way, teach the child that he/she is worth far more then sex. That it is OK not to give into peer pressure and to save that part of you until you are ready to share it with the right person. I do not agree with scaring a child that they will go to hell but rather educate them on disease and pregnancy, and most importantly self worth.
Coald--
DeleteI don't disagree that children should be taught they are worth more than throwing their naughty parts at whoever winks at them. But the majority of abstinence teachings are exactly what you say: scare tactics. My teachers really enjoyed using graphic photos of diseases and infections (first penis I ever saw was dripping with open sores). I swear to god, for years I was terrified I could get any one of those diseases from shaking hands or sitting on a toilet seat. They were called SEXUALLY transmitted diseases, but then they went on to describe the 0.005% chance you could get it any other way, lol. Ohhhhhh boyyyy....
Anon 9:22am
DeleteI totally agree with you. While we should educate our children about disease and pregnancy, (because let's face it can happen,) I do not agree with scaring them.
Abstinence should be taught and an option, but we know teenagers these days are not always going to pick that option. I think its best just to have open communication with your children and teach them abstinence along with safe sex, but mostly like I said self worth so they don't throw their "naughty parts" at anyone
Uh yeah - having been raised as a catholic girl, I truly was brainwashed into saving myself for marriage - and i did -well into my 20's.
ReplyDeleteDamn, I wish I could get that time back. Not that I'd be prommiscous, but perhpas I would have explored more. You only go around once. Since I believe in monogamy in marriage - well - no expreiencing outside marriage.
Anyways, to add to the FEAR FACTOR, the catholic charismatic household I was raised in ALSO believed and taught (and I am not sure if other christian fundamentalist do as well) that when you have sex (intercourse) with people outside of marriage - you inherit on your soul all of their sins and the sins of all the people they have also slept with!!! SICK HEAVY STUFF, designed with fear as motivator.
I too was RCC, I rejected their bullshit quite early.
DeleteI'm sory, you missed a heck of a lot. It was fun. As a now middle aged woman, I keep a younger spouse with who I am monogamous quite happy. One of the reasons I am monogamous is because I know what else is out there - not interested. I know that as an even older woman, I will have wonderful memories.
I hope my chidren have teh
Since there's no such thing as a soul - guess what?
DeleteWhy would you save yourself for marraige?? We do have resources available to us in the event we become pregnant or contract an STD, the very idea of abstinence is absurd it is human nature to be sexual! The religious right needs to keep their politics out of my vagina and stop brainwashing our children!
DeleteAn unmarried, no kids friend of mine relates the story of the "best parents she knows" re: teen sexuality. A bowl of condoms from which the kids can take freely. But mom and dad discreetly keep count of how many are in the bowl.
ReplyDeleteAccess and parental awareness.
Can't believe pimp daddy toad and his family grifter off the backs off all Americans
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother was a public health nurse in San Francisco from 1965 until she retired in 1989. As a child born in 69, as you can imagine the education she gave me was :
ReplyDeleteSex is fun, Sex is good, sex is doable.. but for fuck's sake.. use a condom.
My children, now 16, 14 and 8 are I believe still not sexually active... well who knows about the 8 year old ;), the 16 year old's girlfriend is a level 9 gymnast, they get very little time together. There are condoms available. As well as dental dams and morning after pills. They have instructions on sharing with friends as needed. I will not nor do I judge when the jar of goodies gets low.
We have had this jar for my children's entire life. It was started when we had teenage babysitters. A mason jar of colorful condoms in the main bathroom
I don't care when my children become sexually active. I care that they take care of themselves when the do.
My husband was a virgin when we got together. I was SOOO not. We are both atheists. Morality has nothing to do with responsible behavior.
Whew...learn something new every day. I am 68 years old and had never heard of a "dental dam". I had to do a google search.
DeleteThe fact that Elizabeth Smart recognizes and is speaking out on her upbringing is wonderful. She not only is named Smart, she is smart.
ReplyDelete