Bristol Palin in pimping her newest stab at reality TV talks about her fake job, chances of being a porn star, and attacks Levi Johnston's parenting, yet again.

You know you can really tell when a Palin is lying by how hard they try to convince you that something is true, and when they are worried about how they will be perceived by the public by how hard they try to convince you that they are not worried.

This interview contains examples of both.

On getting to know Joan Rivers, who notoriously does NOT like her mother:

Despite some rocky moments, Bristol managed to bond with the matriarch of the Rivers clan.“I think Joan is just awesome,” declared Bristol. 

“I think at the end of the day, her family is the most important thing to her, just like with me–my family the most important thing to me.

You know when Bristol says that family is important she is really not lying. In fact if it had not been for her extended family she and her siblings may have starved to death. Besides who would have helped to cover up for all of the pregnancies and criminal activities?

Essentially the Palins used their family the way Tony Soprano used his mafia connections. (Gonna miss you James Gandolfini.)

On her mythical job:

“I kinda do Melissa’s job, I got a glimpse of what she does, and she does do a lot,” admitted Bristol. “They have a lot of shows and a lot of projects going on. Definitely not something that really interests me, but it was fun to be able to see her lifestyle and her projects and what they do on a daily basis.” 

While Bristol has been on her fair share of reality shows, she has been working at a local dermatologist’s office for the past four years. “I’ve got an awesome boss here,” said Bristol. “Unfortunately, that’s not on “Wife Swap” due to HIPAA laws–you can’t come film in a medical facility. So, unfortunately, Melissa won’t be doing my job on the swap, but I do have a job and I have been working here for a long time.” 

I have no idea WHY this particular part of Bristol's mythology is so important, but it is clearly something that she wants to make sure that everybody believes about her. Remember this boss would have had to keep her on the payroll while she flew all over the country with her mom, gave speeches for candies, and now has filmed two reality shows. This seems less like an actual job and more like a standing alibi.

I originally wondered HOW they would fake her working there for the show, but as it turned out they used the old HIPAA excuse. Of course as anybody who has watched a reality show, including Dr. 90210, knows there are methods for filming that do nothing to impact HIPAA in any way.

In other words pure Palin mooseshit.

On the fact that she is no longer the most famous teen mom, and porn:

Bristol–who was perhaps America’s most famous teen mom before the title was usurped by culinary student-turned porn star Farrah Abraham–doesn’t think much of the former MTV’s star foray into adult entertainment. “I don’t read into much gossip sites,” said Bristol. “But I think on something like a sex tape, its just buying into all that crap. I just feel bad that that’s what she thinks she has to do to earn a living.”

Look everybody knows the Palins live for gossip, and her mother famously had People and US magazines strewn around the lobby of her office when she the Governor. Not only that but she was often seen reading gossip magazines on the plane by her security staff instead of doing her job by studying the daily briefings.

As for a sex tape, well we already know she has dipped her toe into THOSE waters.

Time to take a dig at Levi:

Bristol has had a well-documented, turbulent relationship with Tripp’s father, Levi Johnston, who recently married Sunny Oglesby, the mother of his second child. “It’s always going to be a work in progress,” Bristol said of the state of her and Levi’s relationship. “In terms of co-parenting, I had Tripp when I was 18. I think it takes a lot longer for a male to grow up and want to be an active parent. I’m just thankful that I have an awesome, supportive family.”

I would be among the first to say that Levi was pretty immature when Tripp was first born. However his desire to be in his son's life, and his dedication to his new wife and daughter, is well documented.

Levi has turned into a pretty well adjusted young man, and has only grown in maturity, while Bristol continues to act like a younger version of her mother, constantly attacking everybody she perceives to have done her wrong, and NEVER letting go of a grudge. ( you know, like this one.)

And anybody who has seen pictures of Tripp while he is with Levi will attest to how better adjusted he appears while interacting with a normal, stable family. (Oh and as for supportive, the Palins pale in comparison to the Johnston clan.)

On concerns for how she will be portrayed on the Wife Swap show:

Bristol has not yet seen the “Celebrity Wife Swap” episode, but she’s bracing herself for the premiere on Sunday night. “Um, I’m not that nervous,” she laughed. “I mean, there’s nothing that I did in it that I think I would regret. Hopefully, nothing will be taken out of context, but it was all in good fun and I know that this is a good family show, and that’s why I agreed to do it.”

Like I said you can always tell when a Palin is  REALLY concerned about how they may appear to others by how often they tell you that they are not at concerned about how they will appear to others.

Bristol Palin is a train wreck and train wrecks are filled with carnage and devastation. So that is pretty much what I expect to see on Sunday night.

But you know what? No matter HOW badly Bristol, Willow, and Tripp come off in this show, Bristol will sign up for another one the first chance she gets.

Because as we all know, THAT is the real career she has pursued since 2009.