Aaron Buer a pastor at Ada Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Here is the quote with a brief setup:
God designed sex. Whoa…that’s a weird thought. But, it’s a true. Sinful humans didn’t invent sex. Sex isn’t dirty or gross. It’s good and beautiful. In fact, sex is beautiful because it was God who invented it and gave it to us as a gift.
With all that said, sex is also incredibly dangerous because God designed it for a specific context. According to the biblical account, sex is for marriage and nowhere else. And, the biblical writers gave us a bazillion warnings about misusing sex.
Why? Because God designed sex as a way to forever cement two people together. Sex literally and symbolically unites two people—physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is no going back on the union either. “Just kidding” or “oops” doesn’t do anything to erase the connection.
I have also seen evidence of this reality in the people around me. I have never met anyone who is actually happy about having sex before they were married. All I’ve ever seen and heard is massive regret.
Regret? I think that is only after these individuals have been shamed by certain religious people into believing that they lost something which defined them as Godly, instead of simply experimenting with their sexuality and improving their technique so as to be a better partner for their wife or husband. I have had a lot of sex in my life, and I have to tell you that the only encounters I MAY regret are the few virgins I deflowered while a teenager. (To be honest I was nothing to write home about back then either.)
This is the same kind of thinking which suggests that providing sex ed is bad, that providing access to birth control encourages sin, and that once a woman has given in to her base urges she has surrendered the right to control what does or does not take up residence in her womb.
Speaking for myself the very best sex I have ever had was while single, and that getting married never failed to kill the spark and turn what was once a fun and fabulous experience into a dreary chore.
And as for experience I have never found that a person with few partners was better in bed than one who had sampled many. Actually quite the opposite proved to be true.
The idea that virginity is a valuable commodity hearkens back to a time when our more primitive forebears had little understanding of biology and believed that the sperm of a previous lover could live inside a potential wife's body for perhaps decades and therefore potentially contaminate their offspring with the attributes of another man. Remember "purity" did not start off to be a reference to the soul, but rather a reference to the untouched nature of the body.
There was that but also an ingrained fear that many insecure men have that they would not "measure up" to, or please their partner as thoroughly, as a previous partner. Why bother to improve your technique, when as far as she knows ALL men are as inept as you are?
There is nothing wrong with having premarital sex, as virtually EVERYBODY in this country already knows.
The ONLY people who would think otherwise are the superstitious, the ignorant, or the insecure. I have the feeling that Pastor Buer is all three.
Hat tip to the Friendly Atheist: