Friday, July 19, 2013

Conservative Christian group "accidentally" sent Michele Bachmann a vibrator. Couldn't hurt.

"Wait, what did I miss?"
Courtesy of Raw Story:  

A conservative Christian political consulting firm nearly gifted Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R) with a vibrator, according to court documents obtained by BuzzFeed. 

The CEO of Strategy Group for Media, Rex Elsass, reportedly sent “female pleasure machines” to Bachmann by accident. 

In hopes of helping with her migraines, Elsass intended to purchase an electronic head massager for the conservative congresswoman. He sent an employee off to buy the device, but the employee purchased something a bit different and mailed it to Bachmann. 

The electronic device did vibrate, but it apparently was not designed to be used on the head. 

Sources familiar with the incident told BuzzFeed that the Christian group intercepted the gift before Bachmann was able to open it. 

Strategy Group for Media was lucky. Bachmann would have likely been baffled and insulted by the gift.

"Baffled and insulted by the gift?" Please, Michele Bachmann is married to THIS guy.

Are we to believe that she has not had to learn to "help herself" since tying the knot with Fernando Fruity up there? Yeah right.

I imagine that if the device had not been intercepted Bachamnn would have opened it, kicked everybody out of her office, locked the door, and spent several hours baffling her insulted naughty bits until she blew a fuse or blacked out from exhaustion.

Sent it accidentally, please.


  1. Anonymous3:42 AM

    Who made this public? Seriously, did the conservative group send out a press release, or did Bachmann? And doesn't she have to declare gifts..oh wait, Sarah had a problem declaring gifts she was sent too.
    I am so glad Bachmann is leaving Congress. I'm sure Ailes will have a nice cushy Fox slot for her, but I won't have to listen to her screeching. She is as bad as Sarah..just a bit more educated.

    1. Leland5:31 AM

      She may be more educated, but that just means she is more STUPID because she HAS that education and throws it away by emphasizing her religious crap in her policy thinking (if you can call that thinking!).

  2. Olivia4:37 AM

    I believe for certain that she has not tried to "help herself" nor does she have any idea what would happen if she did stumble upon that little piece of anatomy. The world would be seeing a very different Michele Bachmann if that had EVER happened.

    1. She's 57. She probably does it and feels guilty about it. That would explain a lot.

  3. She does suffer from migraines. There are some people who say an orgasm can relieve migraines. It never worked for me, but it's certainly better than some of the other methods I've tried. ;-)

  4. Your caption:
    Q. "Wait, what did I miss?"
    A. The bus to Reality, dear.

  5. Olivia5:39 AM

    I would like to hear the explanation from the staffer who discovered that they sent the wrong type of vibrator as to how he or she knew it was the wrong type of vibrator.

  6. Anonymous6:19 AM

    O/T Sarah's next "big" gig... the jokes practically write themselves.

    Is it a melon growing contest???

    Guest speakers including Sarah Palin

    Corn Panel -- maybe the entire Palin clan is attending

    Estate Planning -- Grifters -R- Us

    Drainage Law with one of the best drainage lawyers in the country -- now here's a hot topic

    Speakers on irrigation & drainage through tile lines plus a live tiling demo and a lift station -- Todd talks about "Juicy"

    Kid’s Area complete with games, inflatables, and other entertainment -- Sarah will give a personal demo on inflatables

    1. Anonymous6:39 AM

      This tells you all you need to know about her political relevance.

      "We invite you to join us for a free Ag PhD Field Day on our farm near Baltic, SD"

      How much is her speaking fee for this FREE event? There's NO WAY it's any where near her former $100,000 fee.

    2. Anonymous7:07 AM

      The population was 1,089 at the 2010 census... 'nuff said,_South_Dakota

  7. Anonymous7:04 AM

    Hey, is she married to Liberace's brother?

  8. Randall_because_Im_so_mature7:31 AM

    ...Buzzfeed -- tee hee

  9. Anonymous9:24 AM

    Her migraines are from the crazies trying to get out of her head. Nothing short of an exorcism will help her. Well, maybe a lobotomy would dull the pain.

    1. Olivia10:20 AM

      Her migraines are from her extreme mental conflict of pretending she is a Bible believing Christian versus her constant lying about everything and pretending Marcus is straight. She knows.

      She is so in love with her fame and perceived power that she will do or say anything to keep the attention of her followers.

      Anyone faced with such a conflict would have migraines. Anyone with integrity would fix the problem and the headaches would leave.

  10. Anonymous9:46 AM

    Yeah, so, in my world, those 'conservative Christians' just gave themselves away by sending her THAT kind of vibrator. If I am not completely wrong, you actually would have to go to a 'certain' type of store in order to purchase it - Wallyworld does NOT carry that kind of vibrator.

    BUSTED!!! : D

  11. Anonymous10:22 AM

    These things do happen.

  12. Anonymous11:52 AM

    Do you remember when this loon grabbed onto W at the end of one State of the Union addresses? She started hugging and kissing him and wouldn't let go. Her display was embarrassing to see.Then her comments about President Obama about his "magic wand" and spanking?I'm sensing alot of sexual tension there. But she is married to an obviously gay man. He is the epitome of what my gay friends call a swish.How she can't see this is stupefying.1L I think is very confused.Very!

  13. Anonymous1:53 PM

    Just slap a camera on it and send it to Virginia or Wisconsin or Pensylvania for them to use for their government mandated transvaginal ultra-sounds. Yes folks, that's basically what it is.

  14. Anonymous3:44 PM

    Is it just me or do others see that every photo of her looks like a Deer caught in the headlights?

  15. Anita Winecooler6:22 PM

    Meh... I bet it's a lie and Shelly intercepted the massager from the conservative christian who was headed back to the vibrator store. The whole story sounds fishy, even the sources - Raw Story and BuzzFeed, a story about a vibrator?

  16. Anonymous9:04 PM

    She's about to SPIT!


Don't feed the trolls!
It just goes directly to their thighs.