When Alabama mom, Wendy Chandler, opened her daughter's "Back to School" packet, she was shocked to discover that among the many papers sent to her, was a "Corporal Punishment Parental Consent Form."
The permission slip, which has been making the Internet rounds since The New York Times reported the story this week, reads in part:
"According to Leeds City Schools Public Policy, parents or legal guardians who do not want corporal punishment to be administered to their child/children must inform the principal of the school on an annual basis."
The document also states that if parents fail to fill it out and hand it back to administrators, the elementary school will regard that as implicit consent to administer physical discipline. But as for what that entails exactly, and what infractions would warrant that discipline, the paper doesn't specify.
You know I went to school back in ancient times and I was sent to the Principal's office once for being disruptive and disrespectful in the classroom.
My mom was working two jobs, I never saw her, and I was not handling it very well. I was in the second grade, and to be fair my teacher was not the easiest person to get along with.
In the Principal's office I was told to apologize to my teacher, which I promptly did. However that was not quite good enough for 1968, and after the teacher left the room I was told to drop my pants and bend over the desk.
After I complied, with tears running down my face, the principal proceeded to take out half of a sanded down baseball bat and beat the shit out of me with it.
Twelve blows exactly, I still remember.
He was not the only person to abuse me in those days, but his abuse made me feel the worst about myself. The humiliation of returning to class with your face covered in tears and snot is not exactly a character building experience. Nor one that inspires you to learn.
I did not talk back to my teacher anymore, but I continued to struggle academically.
It was not until the next year when I had a tough but very fair teacher named Mrs Stavinsky, who determined that I was gifted and started to teach me accordingly, that I started to come into my own. The following year I was taught by a lovely soft spoken young woman, who was very patient and kind, and who helped me to discover my love of writing.
I became a good student, and respectful young man, NOT because of the beating, but because somebody cared and took the time to help me find my way.
In this day and age having to resort to corporeal punishment is an indication of your failure as an educator, NOT the child's failure as a student.
Or in Alabama's case, perhaps a systemic failure of your entire education system.
Punishment teaches resentment and defiance, kindness and patience teaches us to be human beings.
So now they want to start beating kids in school again. Insane! Are these idiots really trying to drive us back into the stone age?
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of parent would let anyone hit their child? This will not turn out well. I see kids losing the permission to "not get beaten" slips and mad as hell parents losing it on school administrators and teachers.
But, but, but, da Bahble sez............!
DeleteG-I hope your mother DID something as that was abuse!!!
DeleteWhat's with the pull down the pants? I don't remember any of my school's doing anything like that. Will one time a teacher tied a kid to a chair.
She got in big shit over that.
Wow.
Terrible thing to have happen. Just remember its THEM not you! Fuckers.
Abusing kids is just like abuse of animals. Psycho's do it.
It makes them feel powerful or they get a sexual rush off it.
I'm sorry you had to have that happen...
Namaste.
Anyone who hits a child needs to have that child taken away from them until they learn how civilized people treat weaker, smaller beings. It is perfectly possible to parent successfully without ever having to resort to hitting. Some people are either just too lazy or they enjoy the power trip beating up on someone that can't defend themselves gives them.
ReplyDeleteCorporal punishment has no place in school or in the home I was constantly hit in the face, had my hair pulled, screamed at, called stupid, ugly, fat, hit with a belt and a horsewhip besides being sexually abused. Then on top of that, you get hit by teachers in school. I remember being hit in front of two classes because I missed a math question during a competition, which the bitch teacher did just to humiliate me. The abuse of kids and animals, the most defenseless, is totally unacceptable. I even had an old classmate look me up, someone I had not seen in over 40 years and tell me how sorry he was I got hit in school so much by my first grade teacher. He said he wanted to tell my parents. Bless his heart for that, I thought that was very sweet, not that it would have helped. I remember that teacher calling me stupid too and hitting me, but it was enough to make an impression on this young boy, who was deaf, but he still noticed. I hope there is a special place in hell for all those nasty old teachers that beat kids, as if that will help them learn! I'm sorry about your experience Gryphen, humiliation and shame accomplishes NOTHING, it harms the psyche of the child.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I've never understood spankings. Although most people I know were spanked, none turned out poorly. There's a spanking, then there's a beating.
ReplyDeleteAs far as punishment goes, I prefer positive reinforcement. And witholding things my kids enjoy
I think I've only swatted my kid a few times and that was on the butt for something immediately very bad. The rest of the time its threats of time outs and removal of privileges/toys and it has worked great.
DeleteAnyone who beats a child/animal (above and beyond a corrective relatively painless swat) only shows that they do not have the patience, intelligence and compassion to figure out how to discipline without pain and humiliation.
In this age of guns in every pocket, particularly in the South, this cannot end well. And how can an educator even think about hitting a child? I was a parapro in a 1st grade room for a number of years. Our worst child ever had all kinds of behavior problems. He hit, he kicked, he threw tantrums. One time I complimented his artwork, and he promptly tore it to shreds. He peed in our little bathroom, and Dad cleaned it up.
ReplyDeleteNO matter how bad he was, we never thought of striking him. Our principal was at a loss how to deal with him, but he never hit him. The boy did eventually get help and he did graduate, but that was a long year.
I shudder to think what that child's homelife must have been like!
DeleteI'm in my 70's and recall corporate punishment in my grade school. There was a wooden board w/holes in it that the principal used on the boys, but never girls.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you think when NOT receiving the form from the parents that the Alabama teachers/principal would take the exact opposite approach?
I firmly believe the parents should be contacted if a child is being disruptive and that it is up to the parents to provide the discipline.
If I ever got in trouble (which wasn't often - skipped school for a couple of hours in 8th grade and got caught!), my punishment was restriction from something I loved doing. No movies for a month for skipping school that day!
I see this as going to the SCOTUS as it must be an opt in, not an opt out. And have you any idea of how ridiculous a school system that cites their "method of delivery" as" First Grader Backpack Express is going to sound?
ReplyDeleteCorporal punishment is legal in Texas which is no surprise.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/post/texas-gop-rejects-critical-thinking-skills-really/2012/07/08/gJQAHNpFXW_blog.html
I agree with everything said, and I have my own tales of resisting overzealous authority.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I’ve encountered people in the workplace who were never disciplined, and they were useless. They wanted a gold star just for showing up. It often fell to me to tell them that no one thought they were cute anymore.
I wish the world was full of Mrs. Stavinskys. I had a Miss Fritz who was like that, and I benefited from it.
Corporal punishment at the hands of someone, other than a parent, teaches children that anyone can abuse them and they can't do anything about it. It makes some very sensitive children become even more introverted and a few will enter into abusive relationships or become abusers themselves. I know. My father was the discipliner in chief and would beat me and my siblings with military belt buckles and fists. Since then my youngest sister entered into two abusive relationships and is still in one. My youngest brother became psychologically abusive to my mother and to the rest of us. Another sister lets her bosses abuse her by yelling at her and cheating her out of vacation time and some of her wages. I started out in a relationship that was abusive. After I left, I went through a lot of counseling and am now in a very loving relationship that has lasted almost 30 years. If I had had children, I would never have let anyone at school administer corporal punishment. We live in the 21st Century and there are many more ways to teach children than by hitting them and letting them think that anyone else can also abuse them.
ReplyDeleteWow, that really touched me.
ReplyDeleteI love your last line:
"Punishment teaches resentment and defiance, kindness and patience teaches us to be human beings."
Were you in Alaska or elsewhere at the time?
This is a very important issue which relates to gun violence, war and the underlying rage. Individual experiences add up to a cultural vibration. Corporal punishment of children is a barbaric practice and a crime.
Born and raised right here in Alaska.
DeleteI like your term cultural vibration. I remember a few years back a Danish couple visiting here in the US, left their stroller with sleeping toddler outside a store while they shopped. They were arrested and then released after it was determined that's normal in Denmark. Cultural Vibration.
DeleteBeatings/spankings/swatting are all admissions by adults that they have lost control. It's acceptable to restrain a child that is in danger of physically hurting him/herself or another person, but even that should stop the second the danger has passed.
ReplyDeleteIf an educator feels they need to hit a child BEFORE contacting the parents, then they should not be permitted to be near children.
My parents (1950s) did resort to spankings only after repeated verbal warnings, never just lashed out and limited to two spanks. And certainly by age 4, I was no longer spanked. However a father that was a WWII paratrooper staff sgt could deliver a verbal correction that was truly unforgettable, so perhaps my parents were in a better position to abandon spankings. I feel that my infrequent spankings did not damage me mentally or physically.
This form letter, however, really, really bothers me. We require people to send children to school. And many families have only public school as an option. Those families should be guaranteed an abuse free environment for their children. Even if they sign the form, OTHER children will be hit at school. Sickening.
Once again, this is an opt out, not an opt in.
ReplyDeleteJust like spam, robo calls and other crap we have to put up with. They count on people being busy or careless and not paying attention and returning the form. Then take that as implicit consent.
This country needs to do a 180. If you want your child beaten at school, then you sign a form. Otherwise you have NOT opted IN.
Same for every other type of crap that comes down the line. If I want e-mail spam from corporations trying to sell me crap I'LL ASK FOR IT. I should not have to opt out. That goes for robo-calls, especially from political organizations and non-profits. They should NOT be exempt from the law.
Thanks to the NRA beaten children will have easy access to the "great equalizer". What could possibly go wrong when a youngster, lacking the ability and possible awareness of consequences, in his or her humiliation, outrage, and anger actually has the ability to 'get even' with those who have abused?
ReplyDeleteIn my day, it was far more difficult. The only recourse then was to swallow the abuse. Thanks to the NRA and the school forces that teach might makes all abuse possible, all a child needs is a gun.
The only reason I didn't kill my stepfather at age 9 was because I couldn't get at the gun in the house. I guess it would have been much easier today. And my life would not have been the same.
What happens when corporal punishment meets "stand your ground"?
ReplyDeleteYes, the idea that teachers or parents can beat children into submission is ridiculous. But it's Alabama (and apparently Texas, too) so I'm not surprised.
DeleteWhat happens when corporal meets stand your ground?
ReplyDeleteI would hate to even think of what would happen in a stand your ground situation!
DeleteThe problem as I see it is that corporal punishment can get out of control in the wrong hands. Some good parents still use it sparingly when there isn't time for the positive reinforcement style of behavior modification. Back in the 50's, in Anchorage, I was spanked for talking too much in 6th grade. That was the standard punishment in our class - out in the hall, bend over, hold you ankles, and Mr. Jones gave you one swift swat with his hand. He remains my favorite teacher. At the old Clark Middle School (new at that time!) I once got paddled for kicking a volley ball. I don't remember the teacher's name, and have no regrets, but maintain a very healthy respect for only hitting volley balls with your hand. But times have changed. Teachers/administrators are not allowed to put their hands on kids any more because of flagrant abuse in the past by a minority of educators, and that's the way it should remain - better to play it safe. Parents are quick to file law suits, and the Stand Your Ground crowd might go after the teacher with a gun.
ReplyDeleteIn the 60's, I also cried in the principal's office over a beating. But I was a brand new teacher asked by the principal to 'witness' the punishment of a student.
ReplyDelete~Pogo
What wonderful, thoughtful comments from your readers, Gryphen.
ReplyDeleteI remember corporeal punishment in school being the norm (Roman Catholic Parochial School Survivor), and I remember each one I got and even more the ones everyone else got, because these things weren't done in privacy, they were meant to deter others from misbehaving. My parents were more into the "verbal/emotional" abuse and the firm belief that a nun, priest or teacher were ALWAYS right, if you got hit, you deserved it.
ReplyDeleteThe cycle stopped with us when we had children.
I'd be calling the principal daily and demanding my kids not be exposed to physical verbal or sexual bullying either in person or being forced to see any of it.. Better yet, I'd remove them from school and move to another state.
How do we end bullying if we give consent to adults to hit our kids?
I agree with your comments 100%. We are always talking about being a positive role model. What type of a role model is the person who beats a kid as part of his job?
ReplyDeleteWhen I student taught in 1970 I was warned to NEVER touch a child in any way ... good or bad. But there were bullyish teachers who could take care of discipline probs ... make the child kneel on pencils and hold dictionaries in outstretched hands. One coach told me that many of the problem children fell down stairways. Later, with my own children, the school issued such a memo as referenced above and I made sure that it would NOT be amenable for my kids to receive any form of corporal punishment. If my kids were in trouble, they told me about it before the school could even contact me. Incredibly, the kids were totally honest about any incident. No incident ever merited corporal punishment. I was able to handle it myself. They were great kids and became even greater adults. I'm sure no one will ever manhandle their children, either.
ReplyDeleteSo, IOW, if they WANT to beat your child, all they have to do is to claim they did not receive your 'opt-out' letter...
ReplyDeleteWelcome back to the dark ages...