Sunday, December 08, 2013

Sometimes cats are just dicks.

I had a cat once that was a holy terror.

He waited in the hallways for us kids and scratched at our feet as we walked by. Such an asshole.

However our little terrier was taking none of that from a cat and she chased that cat, who was much bigger, all over the house.

But the best deterrent we had against a takeover by the nine cats that my mother had in those days was my dog Kino.

Kino was a 120 pound part husky, part German shepherd, part wolf hybrid and he did not suffer crap from the animals lower on the food chain in any way.

I remember once watching a cat sneak over to his food bowl in the corner while he slept on the floor by the door. It took the cat about ten minutes to finally, slowly work his way over to that bowl.

Once the cat was positive that Kino was too deeply asleep to catch him he started to eat.

But Kino was not asleep. His eye opened and he very slowly rose to his feet, walked up behind the cat, and let go one baritone bark that sent that cat right into the wall behind the bowl.

At first I thought maybe the cat had broken its neck, but it quickly scrambled to its feet and ran up the wall and onto a nearby cabinet, and from there across every surface up off the ground until he had made it down the hallway and away from the terrifying beast.

Kino then sniffed his food and walked over to his former spot to continue his nap.

36 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:02 AM

    Growing up, our kitchen telephone table was by the entryway. Our cat would sit on it and swat at anyone who walked into the kitchen. Cats also hide under beds and swat at feet. NOT a fan. When they're kittens, they're alright, but fullygrown cats are just boring to me.

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  2. Anonymous5:06 AM

    When we moved to Florida following my Dad's retirement after 20 years in the Air Force, we were adopted by a cat named Priscilla. She was a beautiful pink and cream Cameo persian with a long luxurious tail.

    Which she would put to full use in blocking any open doorway our puppy tried to pass through. She would stretch full length, long tail switching slowly back and forth while contemplating the dog's distress with half closed eyes. Absolute torture.

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  3. Our farm was ruled by a black-and-white mother cat called Fiddlesticks. She tolerated no nonsense, and Dad loved her, so she was emboldened even more. She was a killing machine who maintained her idea of barnyard order. When a strange dog would show up, always with its male owner, the dog had to stay next to the vehicle. If the owner got belligerent about “that cat,” too bad, they didn’t want my father coming after them.

    I don’t think Fiddlesticks ever killed a dog, but other cats have been known to kill marauding canines by riding them and chewing through the spine. Cats have a powerful bite, in addition to the claws. As cute as that video is, and I loved the Corgi, the dogs are justified in their fear.

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  4. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

    I have a dog and two cats. It would surprise my cats, who are after all, lions (in their little heads), to find that they are supposedly lower on the food chain than The Dog, who can only get food from a bowl or trashcan, and only if The Humans put it there.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:52 AM

      Huuh? Sorry, my dog loved her some rabbit on quite a few occasions.

      Delete
    2. Maple8:12 AM

      It would surprise my cats too. Lower on the food chain? Really, Gryphen, your bias is bluntly showing!

      Delete
    3. I once saw my dog bite a cat in half, and rip the front leg off of a doberman pincher that tried to bite me, when I say lower on the food chain that is not hyperbole.

      Kino did not kill the cats in my house because they were in MY house. He loved me and therefore he tolerated them.

      Outside of the house was an entirely different matter.

      What part of wolf hybrid was confusing to you?

      Delete
    4. Anonymous10:10 AM

      Wow, that's scary and sad! I can just imagine the pain of the families whose cat and dog were murdered by your vicious wolf dog. That's exactly why wolf hybrids are very carefully regulated in AK and other states. AK is fighting very hard to have them made illegal because they cannot be tamed and most people that have them allow them to harm other animals and children.

      Many of the devastating tragedies that occur between animals and people are instigated by wolf hybrids. Often people that own these animals do so because they feel that others will be intimidated by them due to their owning a large wild animal. Often it's the owners find themselves in the jaws of their hybrid.

      This is one of the most sad things that I've seen you write and I hope that your family did the right thing after your pet killed others. I'm pretty sure that Animal Control would have been at your door pretty quickly had anyone else witnessed the carnage and if not surely your would have reported it so the owners would know the truth? These must have been very sad and dark days for your family as well?

      Delete
    5. Anonymous3:33 PM

      Gryphen -- Did someone hack your comments and post the above ugly reply in order to discredit you?

      Delete
  5. Anonymous5:25 AM

    Poor dogs!

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  6. Anonymous5:29 AM

    Many, many years ago our puppy (about five months old) scampered across two open back yards because she saw "someone" to play with. It was a neighbor's huge, old and beloved cat which promptly scratched our puppy just above her eye. Well, the puppy came racing home and we had to treat her bleeding face. Fortunately her eye was not injured. A few weeks later the elderly lady who owned the cat mentioned to me how afraid she was when her cat was outside. She was afraid that a dog would bite it! I did not say anything about how no dog would dare try to bite her cat. It was huge and mean and did a lot more damage to any dog in the vicinity. Our puppy's wound healed but she was terrified of cats for the rest of her life (all 16+ years).
    Beaglemom

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  7. Sharon5:48 AM

    I find your personal story hilarious Gyrphen and the video even funnier. We most definitely were a dog family and still are, including my brothers and our children. I actually just adopted a rescue special needs dog from a shelter. My health issues, esp the arthritis has prevented me from having one due to not being able to take long walks. My new BooBoo is a yorkie/chihuahua mix with arthritis and sliding kneecaps and needed a quiet home. He weighs 5 lbs, is a year old, totally house broken and smart as hell. Watching all those poor dogs being wussy around those cats just makes me love them more.

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  8. Anonymous6:41 AM

    Love the way you tell a story, G.

    Cats are the sneaky ones, and it's funny how they react when they get caught in their schemes.

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  9. ManxMamma6:45 AM

    Poor Anon 5:02. I have found more pleasure watching my two cats at any hour of the day than most things. They've made me understand how someone like Jane Goodall could spend decades studying primates. They certainly were more amusing as kittens but now we have a more mature relationship :)

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  10. Anonymous7:19 AM

    Cats are not the lower species. Watch out buddy! There are zillions of cat lovers out here. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous7:54 AM

      And getting a pair of litter-mates will keep them more "kitteny" throughout life.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. angela7:48 AM

      hahahahahahaha.
      Interesting, because I always think of dogs as openminded and friendlier. They tend to share and want to get along with everyone. Cats tend to be a bit fascist. They don't want anything to change and want to lord their power over others. I love dogs for their openness and cats for their majesty and sometimes asshole ways.

      Delete
    2. Maple8:16 AM

      Let's look at it this way: people who have dogs love to be able to control them. People who have cats love the cat's independent nature. See how that works? See what that means?

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8:51 AM

      Cats and dogs can both be assholes, but in my experience dog owners are much more likely to be assholes than cat owners.

      Delete
  12. angela7:34 AM

    I have loved cats since a stray showed up in our neighborhood when I was in jr. high. Back in the 70s we all let our dogs run free when we were outside. Butch (we were later to find out he was a she) scared the hell out of our dogs from Pekinese to Rottweilers. She'd walk the gamut of barking dogs, then stop in the middle of them. That was the cue for all the dogs to run back to their yards cause someone was about to get hurt and it wasn't going to be Butch.

    The whole neighborhood fed Butch—I don't know why since my dad said we had about 90% less field mice coming into the garage after Butch showed up. And then one day she was gone. All of us kids looked for her for days. I'd like to think she got bored with our dogs and moved on down the line to own another neighborhood.

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  13. I saw this clip on Reddit last night-hilarious!

    IA with the cat owners are staff Nefer. I've also heard this comparison: dogs are children, cats are teenagers.

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  14. Anonymous7:53 AM

    Gryphen, Your blog is the best! I just wanted you to know that. I mean, I can't stand Sarah Palin with the passions of a thousand suns, but I also come here to read your posts on other things, too. You never fail to make me smile, think or laugh out loud. Thanks for keeping up the fight. Carry on!

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  15. My two cats, AliceObama and RobinObama, would take great issue with some of the remarks today. They are both good Demo-cats and share my bed!

    I looked at that film, and, mostly, the cats were doing nothing other than sitting there. Some were hissing and scaring the dogs, but basically, they weren't actively hurting those scardy-dogs.

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  16. I LIKE dogs...but I LOVE cats!

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  17. Ohhhhh, Gryphen, I lubs ya dearly, but have to take exception with that "lower on the food chain" statement *lol* Here's another video that had me laughing:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/05/dogs-terrified-of-walking-past-cats_n_4276499.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

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  18. hedgewytch9:20 AM

    I've always had a cat and a dog.- my whole life. They usually pretend to not like each other - but you know that they do. They hang out together when we aren't home. I had a dog once "rescue" his cat from the neighbor's dog who was chasing her. My beagle distracted the yellow lab and then as soon as kitty came home, he did too and went right over to her to check that she was o.k. Lots of face licking that she tolerated.

    My current dog is a huge lab. He just lets that cat do just about anything. She gets in his bed, he just sighs and walks away and lies down elsewhere. But the food bowls, I don't leave food out. They get fed twice a day and neither is allowed to touch the other's bowl, they seem to respect that. Though when the kitty gets some canned salmon and he doesn't, there's a bit of "hey!" but then he gets the bacon grease so i guess it works out....

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  19. Anonymous9:35 AM

    When the back half of our house was heated by a kerosene stove, the dog would blissfully sack out beneath it. When the cat, meanest cat for miles, wanted that prime spot, the dog would fly out from under the stove like a projectile. Our family had debates on whether any part of the dog touched the floor during these eruptions.

    What people did before they had TV.

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  20. Anonymous11:00 AM

    I've followed your blog for a long time and normally really enjoy it but..... huh?? I mean, both cats and dogs are sentient creatures, worthy of love and kindness. They only give what they get. There is no such thing as a cat being an asshole, the only asshole is the ignorant, unfeeling human who wrote this post. Are you sure Sarah Palin didn't write this?

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  21. Anonymous11:58 AM

    Posted this video the other day,because it is my house often,and it cracks me up.And yes,one of my two cats loves to play the "I'm boss" game with my two dogs. (And that includes my very intelligent,sweet,loving,gentle shepard/husky/wolf hybrid). I love my animals,and they enhance my life with their love and loyalty every day.And best of all,they are free thinking Democrats just like me;)

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  22. Anonymous12:40 PM

    Gryph, we have 5 dogs and 3 cats, 1 goat, 7 horses, and we used to have a raccoon we found as an orphan, and you know what they are all rescues or orphans. Never have we had a fight or anything, they all hang out w/ each other, my raccoon was perhaps the coolest of them all. His name was Izzy, he loved everyone, I never cried so hard as I did when he died, I felt like my first hand witnessing of this awesome wildlife/domesticated thing was cut way too short. Imagine waking up in bed, with a bunch of dogs,cats and a raccoon, It was the best time of my life. Hell, even my horses loved Izzer, they would sniff him, and he would hold their muzzles. Very sweet times.

    Tap

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  23. Anonymous1:44 PM

    And sometimes dogs are "fraidy cats" themselves.

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  24. Anonymous1:56 PM

    Domestic house pets are what we are considered to be by the cats in our house..........my world-class athlete rescue cat actually went nose to nose with my grandsons pit bull and held his ground........but you couldn't want a sweeter more loving animal.......really

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  25. Anita Winecooler5:47 PM

    We always had cats and dogs in our house growing up, and I realized how much I missed having animals around when I went off to College. Both species have their strong points and weak points, but I love them all equally. We have two dogs, two cats and one kitten, but our dogs aren't afraid of the cats like the ones in the clip, if one's in the way, they'll either swat them away or jump over them.

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  26. Beldar El Gato Conehead6:53 PM

    As you know, I hate to correct you, Gryphen, but shouldn't that be "Sometimes cats are just pussies"?

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    Replies
    1. An European Viewpoint1:02 AM

      "Sometimes dogs are just pussies" would be more like it.

      Delete

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