Courtesy of the Live Leak page:
A computer tech for the Farmington school system was arrested for trying to have sex with a cow while another man shot video.
The cow was later hit by three cars that are now totaled. Two men are now in custody.
I have to confess that I have no good reason to share this story except for the opportunity to post that headline.
A man waits his entire life for such a chance, and I damn sure wasn't going to let mine just slip away.
How these newscasters kept a straight face is completely beyond me.
P.S. For those who simply cannot believe this is real.
Too bad the cow had to die, but don't let that get in the way of the funny.
ReplyDeleteThe cow died from the shame of it all.
DeleteWe've been hearing that this sex tape has been out there for a while. I'm guessing that the "Jello" was green, but was neither lime-flavored nor really Jello, but instead was just the usual Palin-Heath lady parts discharge oozing out.
Delete"I've always tried to tell Beefy to look both ways before crossing the road, especially when she being banged from behind from a methed-up hillbilly like her half-brother, Tramp, cuz boys will be boys. I hate to say Told Ya So, but..."
~ Baldy Quitler
You think this is funny?
ReplyDeleteThis garbage is common and always has been. Bad stuff happens in the country when men think no one is watching.
ReplyDelete"The cow struck 3 vehicles", which totaled the cars? Reminds me of the evil geese that keep "striking airplanes" traveling at high speed.
ReplyDeleteThe cow was running for its life and got struck by the vehicles.
DeleteRIP Cow. :(
What kind of sicko would do this? Oh right...
who wants to bet this isn't a Conservative xtian?
Bets anyone?
Prob a palin fan. He prob fantasized the poor cow as sarah. :( RIP Cow.
Even the poor cow knew that was so wrong.
ReplyDeleteYes, some animals seem to have morality; others, not so much (dogs mounting pigs and cats).
DeleteDarlene
DeleteDogs mount as a sign of dominance in many cases, it has nothing to do with sex. That is why often female dogs will mount others. But, and I have had farm animals my whole life) I have never seen a dog mount a cat nor a pig.
I’ve heard of dogs mounting pigs (maybe it was dominance), but George Carlin joked about his little dog mounting the cat (again, maybe dominance rather than sex). In my own farm experience, animals mated within their species. There are a lot of stories out there.
DeleteRegarding females mounting other females, one of the signs that a cow was in heat was when other cows started mounting her.
Are you telling us that you have never had a dog try to hump your leg?
DeleteFarm dogs are not choosy when it comes to eating sh*t though! They'll usually eat any kind of shit they can get. The seem to have a huge attraction to frozen horse apples! Talk about a long lasting chew toy. " Leave that outside Spot!"
DeleteDarlene I grew up on a farm and we had a yellow lab that would mount our hogs. But I disagree it has nothing to do with sex in his case. Doggie loved to sniff crotches and butts and was really bad when it when I was menstruating cuz he though I was in heat.
DeleteDogs, and many other animals, eat feces because they still have many nutrients in them. If your dogs are eating a lot of poo then I would suggest changing what you feed them.
DeleteMy female catahoula will mount my male GSDs, she is the top dog and they know it with a little reminder now and then.
DeleteWoof!
ReplyDelete"More on this as the story develops tonight"? Is it possible to get more information? Too much has already been divulged.
Don't you want to know what color jello the perp was wearing?
Deleteare we sure it was jello? the on site reporter was pretty stupid...
DeleteSorry for the poor cow. As I see the other commenters are. Aren't we all a bunch of heartless liberals.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about this. I smell a hoax. These same two guys were in the news earlier in the week because a suspicious farmer caught them on film having sex with his dairy cows. The cows seemed troubled and weren't producing enough milk so he set up a security camera. Nothing was mentioned about a runaway cow, a collision on the highway, or...jello. I think those two were taken into custody. Maybe this story here happened before? Dunno. Kinda sounds hoaxy to me. Both stories claim having film to prove it but it conveniently can't be shown. Not that I'd want to see it anyway. Those guys aren't my type. ;)
ReplyDeleteWell there is a picture of a dead cow on the highway and cars....
DeleteI'm so sure that they would show the film? Not, its evidence of a crime? You need to see the film?
Conservative much?
Conservative never. How do you even get that from my remark? No threshold for humor, I guess.
Delete--Mary Barbour
Oopsie...foiled again. I didn't click on the linky at the bottom of the article. My bad.
ReplyDeleteWhat was the name of the town in New York that this took place?
ReplyDeleteFarmington, appropriately. Barnyard Bubbas strike again. Did the popo send that substance to the lab to confirm it was Jello?
DeleteI am sorry for the poor cow. What a way to go.
ReplyDeleteSo the alleged perp is a computer tech for a school system? If If that school district is smart it might be time to call in some outside experts to give things a good looking over. I wonder if the children have school issued devices with cameras?
" The superintendent says:
“The former employee did not provide instruction to students nor did he have responsibilities involving direct student contact… Once we learned of the arrest of this individual, we took immediate and swift action.”
"A visitor from Anonymous Proxy viewed the Immoral Minority"
ReplyDeleteCool!
someone from Farmington as well..they must be googling to see who all knows about this embarrassing event.
DeleteThe headline instantly made me think of my favorite movie line:
ReplyDelete"All I said was that our son, the apple of our three eyes, Martha being a cyclops, was a bean bag, and right away you start getting testy."
- Richard Burton to George Segal in 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf'. What actor wouldn't want to deliver that?
Reminded me of my neighbors to the north, WY, where men are men and sheep are nervous...
DeleteWhich one was holding the camera .... Track or Todd?
ReplyDeleteToadie, aka Eskimo, the Camry expert filming for Sarah's sequel to Who's Nailin Paylin? This one is Who's Nailin Beefy? (spoiler alert: Big Brother Trunk just loves him some jello with his sister-fucking)
DeleteI think the reporter means that three vehicles struck the cow, not that the cow struck three vehicles. The guys should be charged with, in addition to anything else, cruelty to an animal. They are responsible for her death.
ReplyDeleteBeaglemom
What flavor Jell-O?
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many people here who feel sorry for the cow also have zero problem eating beef? Slaughter houses are horrible places, and the animals are filled with terror before they are killed. Having sex with cows is depraved, but humans do all kinds of horrible things to animals.
ReplyDeleteI eat beef.
DeleteThe quarter cow that is in my freezer came from Shreve at The Daily Coyote. She raises her cows on pasture, gets then used to the trailer and when she takes them to be processed, they are brought in one at a time. They are humanely raised and are not terrified. The process is as humane as it can be. She and her people respect their cows for the sacrifice they make to sustain us and I appreciate that.
I don't buy CAFO.
If you know your source, you can avoid the torture of animals. You don't have to be a vegetarian. (I tried it for a few years. Didn't work for me.)
You just keep telling yourself that those cows don't mind being killed so you can enjoy your 1/4 cow. 1/4 cow. Cripes that even sounds grotesque.
DeleteFirst of all, a man having sex with a cow is hardly a bother to the cow; sorry, men.
DeleteSecondly, check out The Daily Coyote and Honey Rock Dawn before you judge. Shreve raises her herds in Montana which she carefully and lovingly manages. mlaiuppa is correct in her facts. Shreve is an amazing conservator of land and respectful of all of her animals. Those of us who are not vegetarian applaud her efforts.
I think it's wonderful that you can have your cake (or beef) and eat it too. I made a decision that's right for me, and live my beliefs. Mazel tov to diversity .
DeleteThis gives a whole new meaning to Cow Boys.
ReplyDeleteStop giving Bristol ideas of how to spice up her relationships. What flavor of Jello was it, anyway?
ReplyDeleteThis story keeps getting stranger, I had not read about the Jello yet. I wonder if the cow intentionally committed suicide by jumping in front of those cars.
ReplyDeleteEveryone's upset about the cow, I want to know where the sympathy for the jello is?
ReplyDeleteOn a scale of one to ten the guy having sex with the cow is a 9 on the ick factor, the guy filming it is definitely a 10.
RIP Ms Cow, Not all homosapiens are cruel perverted assclowns.
Sorry for the cow. First being sexually assaulted and then dying after being hit by cars.
ReplyDeleteBut are we sure this story really isn't about one ex-governor's husband, mounting a reindeer while wearing Jello as a lubricant, being filmed by his not-really-his son, and then being caught in 'headlights' after the reindeer gets hit on the Wasilla-Palmer Highway? I mean, this would be just another news story for Alaskans.