Courtesy of The Friendly Atheist:
His advice is broken up into two parts.
First, if the child is still a Christian, then you have to confront the child and get him to repent! If he doesn’t repent, bring a couple witnesses along. If he still doesn’t repent, tell the church! If he still doesn’t repent, kick him out of the church (and, presumably, out of the family):
If they profess to be a Christian, you have to alienate them. You have to separate them. You can’t condone that. It’s inconsistent with a profession of Christ. So you isolate them. You don’t have a meal with them. You separate yourself from them. You turn them over to Satan, as it were…
But if the child is no longer a Christian, then forget it. There’s just no hope.
My daughter went through something similar in the fundamentalist church that she attended with her mother in Georgia.
They kept telling her how much they loved her and wanted her to be happy with the Lord, while shaming her and telling her that she mush repress her love for those the church did not sanction.
My approach was somewhat different.
I told her I already knew because I had been paying attention to her life, and that on the day she was born I had promised to always love her, accept her, and support her, and that nothing had changed.
I have seen too many parents try to mold their children into idealized versions of themselves, only to drive them away and spend their later years in regret and frustration.
There is no worse fate for a child than to have their parents tell them to change who they are or leave, and there is not worse fate for a parent than when their child choose the latter.
Update: And let me just add that part of my support for my child was helping to elect a President who has done more for the LGBT community than any other President in history.
This Is What Change Looks Like
ReplyDeletehttp://theobamadiary.com/2014/06/16/this-is-what-change-looks-like-3/
Incredible Loving Letter From Tx State Rep. to His Lesbian Daughter
On Father’s Day, Texas Senator Juan Hinojosa penned an open letter to his lesbian daughter. In it he not only told her he would support her no matter who she loved, but makes a pretty clear statement in support of equal rights and marriage equality. Senator Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa had previously sponsored a bill to legalize civil unions, but now seems to be pretty clearly throwing his full support toward marriage equality.
http://aattp.org/must-read-incredible-loving-letter-from-tx-state-rep-to-his-lesbian-daughter/
Rick Perry Doubles Down On Stupid During Same-Sex Marriage Discussion
ReplyDelete...Of course, Perry is far too dense and ignorant to realize any of this. Towards the end of the interview, he doubled down on his ignorant comments from a few days ago. He once again referred to homosexuality as a “lifestyle.” He also claimed that this is all centered around states’ rights and suggested that gay couples just need to move to more ‘liberal’ states if they want to get married.
“I don’t necessarily condone that lifestyle. I don’t condemn it, either. We’re all children of god. And the fact is that people will decide where they want to live if Washington will respect the Tenth Amendment.”
Perry probably thought by getting some hipster glasses, he’d be able to Etch-A-Sketch himself out of his well-earned reputation of being a doofus. The problem is, he’s still Rick Perry. Every time he participates in a debate, does an interview or makes a speech, there is nearly a 100% chance he is going to make a fool out of himself.
http://www.politicususa.com/2014/06/16/discussion-same-sex-marriage-rick-perry-doubles-stupid.html
Perry is a closeted gay man that will do or say anything as long as it advances his political career. He doesn't respect himself enough to come out and thinks since he married a beard that he has fooled everyone.
DeleteWell this is pretty disgusting...since we're discussing children:
ReplyDeleteBorder Patrol agents are mocking the child migrant crisis
President Obama has referred to the "surge" of tens of thousands of unaccompanied child migrants into the US as a "humanitarian crisis." But apparently Border Patrol agents are far less sympathetic to the children and teenagers they're apprehending.
This morning, the National Border Patrol Council, the union for US Border Patrol agents, sent out the following tweet:
http://www.vox.com/2014/6/14/5809736/the-border-patrol-unions-offensive-tweet-about-child-migrants
I think any parent of a gay child has their own story to tell. I have told mine here and on other sites - but it seems we have to continue to do so.
ReplyDeleteWhen did I know?? Early on. When she was three or four. Not anything in particular - just a mothers' awareness. She was 16 before she had the courage to tell me. After her tearful., heartfelt "confession" I told her I already knew and what would she like for dinner. She looked at me in amazement and busted out laughing.
On the other hand - I insisted she also tell her father. He immediately wanted to know what perverted thing I had done to her. He also thought perhaps there was some medication that might "cure" her.
There are too many fools in this world. Those who know the truth - though not as vocal - have to maintain our composure and fight on.
Pat Padrnos
Made me smile Pat. Thanks.
DeleteANY church that preaches something like this would be the last one I attended. Seriously, what is WRONG with these people? I see when Rick Perry continued his nonsense of same-sex marriage today as well. Whatever happened to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?
ReplyDeleteLife, Liberty and the Pursuit of happiness are only there for the modern xtian, don't you know.
DeleteThe Constitution is only for THEM. Not anyone else! And even then they misread it and misquote it and misinterpret it and....
ESPECIALLY if that superstitious crap is used to psychologically destroy - or at least attempt to destroy - another human being.
ReplyDeleteAnd if that human being happens to be a CHILD and the parents try to use it against their own child it exits the realm of "not harmless" into actual abuse in my book.
Unfortunately, these sick bastards are too ignorant to accept it is NOT a CHOICE!
Cults that can make a parent not love a child are dangerous indeed. But there is hope to those shunned, they hopefully can build real families based on love, not blood after they escape.
ReplyDeleteIndeed they can.
DeleteBecause I have.
Can anyone point to a chapter/verse where Jesus even mentioned homosexuality? I know the "love your neighbor" and "rich people suck" themes are everywhere in the NT.
ReplyDeleteThese xtians are just making stuff up.
Jesus didn't mention homosexuality (or abortion). However, fundamentalists love to take his teaching on divorce out of context to oppose gay marriage.
DeleteMatthew 19:3-6 "“Have you not read that He Who made them in the first place made them man and woman? 5 It says, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will live with his wife. The two will become one.’ 6 So they are no longer two but one. Let no man divide what God has put together.”
and then there's this:
Matthew 19:12 For there are some men who from birth will never be able to have children. There are some men who have been made so by men. There are some men who have had themselves made that way because of the holy nation of heaven. The one who is able to do this, let him do it.
[other versions use the word 'eunuchs' instead of 'men]
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+19%3A1-12&version=NLV
but nowhere does it specify that the mother or father figure are different sexes.
DeleteBack in 1967, I think I escaped that kind of trauma because I announced to my mother and stepfather when I was 13. No big uproar because I was simply not believed.
ReplyDelete"It's a phase you're going through," "All you need is the right girl to straighten you out." My stepfather, rest his soul, actually told me: "You can't be homosexual (no one said 'gay' yet) because you're not interested in fixing women's hair and clothes, you don't like the ballet, and you don't like classic music." I swear. I never forgot those words, and they are not the least out of line with middle class ignorance on the topic in that pre-Donahue, pre-Oprah world.
But come 18, when I was ready to prove my claim technically, and loved ones need to evolve with more acceleration, at least none could claim it was a shock.
My parents got me out of religious schooling (Catholic) in 1966, when I was 12, just before their clergy could damage any budding, healthy sexual outlook in me. I'm grateful for that to this day. My now-husband and I are just past 38 years together.
Tip of the hat to you, dviaries! I told you before and I'll say it again. I am so glad to have your voice on this blog!
DeleteGay Sex And Oral Sex With Non-Marrieds Was Illegal In Alabama Until Last Friday
ReplyDelete...On Friday, however, an Alabama appeals court handed down the state’s first decision declaring this law unconstitutional. This isn’t a particularly surprising decision. The Supreme Court held in its landmark 2003 opinion in Lawrence v. Texas that the Constitution forbids laws prohibiting consensual, private sexual activity between adults. If an Alabama court allowed the state’s sex ban to stand, it would have done so in direct defiance of the Constitution and the Supreme Court of the United States.
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2014/06/16/3449221/it-took-until-last-friday-for-an-alabama-court-to-strike-down-that-states-ban-on-gay-sex/
Obama’s executive order expanding LGBT job protections largest in US history
ReplyDeleteThe White House announced on Monday that President Barack Obama will issue an executive order requiring all companies with federal government contracts to refrain from discriminating against employees on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.
It is currently legal to fire people because of their sexual orientation in 29 states, and in 33 states it is legal to fire people for their gender identity.
Anywhere from 15 to 43 percent of gay people have experienced discrimination and harassment in the workplace, and over 90 percent of transgender workers report that they have been discriminated against or harassed. This executive order would protect over 1 million LGBT workers, the largest expansion of workplace protection for gay and transgender workers in the country’s history.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/16/obamas-executive-order-expanding-lgbt-job-protections-largest-in-us-history/
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/16/obamas-executive-order-expanding-lgbt-job-protections-largest-in-us-history/
Army upgrades lesbian’s discharge to honorable 35 years after booting her for being gay
ReplyDeleteAn Oklahoma woman is celebrating after the U.S. Army changed her discharge status from “other than honorable” to honorable 35 years after she was kicked out of the service for being a homosexual.
Lisa Weiszmiller, 53, told The Oklahoman that she suffers post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because of treatment she received while attending military police training at Fort McClellan, Alabama in 1978 and 1979.
“Back then, the treatment was barbaric,” Weiszmiller said, recalling that soldiers who were thought to be gay were interrogated for hours and punished with extra work.
Drill sergeants “would stop their troops, and we would have to come to parade rest, and they would berate us,” she said.
“These are queers! These are lesbians! Stay away from these homosexual women,” were some of the taunts she remembered. “They tried everything they could to try to break us down to what they thought we were.”
When she completed training, Weiszmiller said that military police stopped her from leaving the base.
“They searched our lockers, found some personal letters from friends and decided they were going to kick us out for being gay,” she explained.
She was arrested, fined a month’s pay, and was told that she would be face a court martial if she did not sign her discharge papers.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/06/16/army-upgrades-lesbians-discharge-to-honorable-35-years-after-booting-her-for-being-gay/
It must be awful to be born gay in an evangelical christian family!
ReplyDeleteSeveral evangelical pastors have accused John MacArthur of being heretical but they all share the same destructive teachings on homosexuality...for now. Heartbreaking shame!
ReplyDeleteIf God made everything on earth like the Bible says, then God made the gays. Not accepting gays is a slap in God's face.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of when my grandmother caught me smoking cigarettes as a teenager. She said that tobacco was the "Devil's weed". I said, but you said the Bible says God made everything; doesn't that include tobacco? Needless to say, she was not impressed, but it did impress me. These people say one thing and do another. If God made everything, then he made everything.
Watch: Pittsburgh cop punches teen repeatedly, grabs her hair at gay pride march
ReplyDeletehttp://freakoutnation.com/2014/06/16/watch-pittsburgh-cop-punches-teen-repeatedly-grabs-her-hair-at-gay-pride-march/
My son is gay. He came out 2 1/2 years ago. When he told his dad and I, we immediately said how proud we were that he felt comfortable telling us. We told him we loved him very much. In hind sight, I think I suspected he was gay since he was a teen. He desperately wanted to be straight and lead that lifestyle. I'm so happy that he has a very close and accepting family. His aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents were very accepting right from the start. My heartbreaks for people who have to put up with the bullshit that religious leaders preach. I am so excited that we have a president that has been a force of change. Too many human beings have been made to feel that they were "less then" straight people.
ReplyDeleteBravo to you, 4:13
DeleteIn my youth, I'm sure it was more of a fear for parents that the kid would be in for a lifetime of loneliness or trouble, but if that was ever true, it certainly isn't now. As with all your children, regardless of sexual orientation, there's likely to be a few relationships that are false starts and some broken hearts before he finds lasting love, and you'll need to see him through them. Romantically speaking, few of us, gay or straight, hit them right out of the park first time at bat.
Congratulations on your enlightened parenting skills.
Thanks! Beautiful.
DeleteI think of the evolution in my lifetime. I am 50. When I first started work, people thought I was gay because I had a girl roommate and no boyfriend at the time. Whispers, innuendos, downright nasty comments. Neither my roommate nor I are gay, but we were the newbies on the floor.
NOW, at work, gay people are opened, same sex partners get benefits and maternity leave, the whole shebang. It is great.
I got married to a handsome, smart and rich man after 9 years of working lol. I had the last laugh.
The are so obsessed with gays. God hates divorce; I don't see any of these churches kicking out their divorced members.
ReplyDeleteOver the years, I've seen this line of stupidity shown in the clip and it really pisses me off. We took our kids to Gay Pride/Equality Forum over the years because I wanted them to learn history, culture and the damage hate does to a person. And I wanted them to know I love them unconditionally and nothing was taboo or "wrong" with any topic.
ReplyDeleteThey learned about Stonewall, Harvey Milk, Matthew Shepperd, Ryan White and their own cousin's experience.
The bigots with bibles don't realize what love is and by taking this stance, they're implying their God makes mistakes. Isn't that blasphemy in a way?
Anyway, I'm glad I voted for this President, and Marriage and Family Equality is a huge reason.
Mandatory reparative therapy for all gays and lesbians
ReplyDeleteUntil they are cured.
Your secret's safe with us, so stop your self loathing and live vibrantly!!!!
Delete