Sarah Palin "writes" an op-ed for Fox attacking the President for...well for just about everything.

So as has now become apparent to just about everybody Sarah Palin is damned and determined to be noticed in the media so she has become a whirling "derpish" of televised appearances, Facebook posts, and even Facebook videos.

Well now you can add Fox News op-ed writer as well.

And by that we mean she babbled into a tape recorder and had some poor SarahPAC paid hack attempt to form it into a coherent article.

Epic fail by the way. (For those seeking an op-ed that was almost ALL Palin's creation click here.)

Here are some of the lowlights.

First off she is pissed that the President is the Democrat's rainmaker: 

President Obama was absolutely swamped the other night, staving off the munchies at a pizza party in the Mile High city, hobnobbing as headliner at numerous Democrat shindigs, collecting big bucks from big donors all day. 

Whew. Exhausting. Especially exhausting must be trying to change pace and pivot through the fundraising parties, knowing they’re thrown by those much maligned “fat cats” (Obama’s words, not mine). 

The president conveniently disparages these fat cats in public, but in private their group hugs are a whole lot of cuddlin,’ purrin’ and rolling over for more tummy tickling from the one who feeds them. And it wasn’t hairballs any felines coughed up Tuesday just to hear Obama talk…and talk…and talk some more. 

Donors forked over up to $32,000 just to get in the door to hear some fancy talk and scratch each other’s backs. These parties may be quite boring, too, making the outings even more exhausting, because politics isn’t a passionate cause for most attendees, it’s a money maker.

Yes how dare the President attract money for Democrats. I mean can't he simply find one or two Koch style sugar daddies like the Republicans?

And how it must burn little Miss Irrelevant's ass to know that people are willing to shell out that kind of money to see the President while she still has to negotiate for air fare and lodging.

Palin then essentially calls the President "boy" by reducing him to the status of an out of control teenager: 

After watching what’s going on, does anyone else feel an urgency to take away the proverbial teenager’s car keys to prevent the inevitable crash down the road? But maybe that’s just the mama in me. Maybe I really should give the busy guy a break because with all the screaming chaos around the globe, Obama’s completely tone-deaf, disengaged, and unfocused actions perhaps can be explained.

The "mama" in her? Where was THAT when her kids were off doing drugs, breaking into liquor stores, and getting pregnant?

Palin then goes on to complain that the President in having the bowling alley in the White House renovated, which seems particularly trivial unless she believes the money spent on that could instead be used to send more border agents to Texas.

(Later she has to walk the criticism back after finding out that the project has been axed. I have to believe that this was not a project that the President personally championed as I have seen him bowl, and it does not look as if he spends much time practicing.)

Palin then goes on to criticize the President for visiting Denver:

I love this picture!

But, seriously, our commander-in-chief is busy, as Rome burns. For instance, after satisfying those munchies in Colorado, he carved out room for some super duper important games of pool in a bar with that state’s enabling governor. Ironically, Hickensooperdooper is his name. I think. (Actually it's Hickenlooper, but why bother trying to get it right when you can simply mock somebody instead?) Anyway, Obama won. He told us so. (Funny, he always wins. Golf, basketball, brackets and bets, his grand pronouncements afterward is always, miraculously, humph, he won again!) 

Whew. Racking balls, getting buzzed on suds, maybe humming “Rocky Mountain High” while kicking it in those Rockies, hard choices had to be made – stripes or solids? And that beer – do I drink it if the mountains aren’t blue? Talk about miscues.

WTF?

Well it looks as if, unlike the President, when somebody altered Palin a mind altering substance she said "You betcha!"

Next Palin criticized the President for his visit to Texas: 

President Obama was in Texas next. No time to visit the porous U.S. border, but lots of time for more fancy talkin’, photo-opin’ and fundraisin’. No plugging holes this time down South. 

Yeah why did the President visit Texas for "photo-opin'," and avoiding the "porous" border, instead of doing what Governor Rick Perry was doing.

You know "photo-opin'" ON the porous border. (Isn't there only like one body of water on the Texas-Mexico border? Yet every picture of Perry has him in a boat.)

Well enough screwing around, Palin needs to bring up those "impeachable offenses" again:

But Barack Obama has most certainly engaged in impeachable offenses. Many. That’s a given. No need to waste ink trying to educate the “deniers” on how things are guaranteed to get worse unless this lawless administration, led by an imperial president, is legally slapped down on the House and Senate floors; so instead I’ll use what we’re told are the world’s superpower’s scariest weapons – a pen and a phone – to talk to sane Americans about taking our country back. That’s up next. 

Yes this President has done some things that Palin believes are "impeachable offenses" though she has yet to name a single one. (I'm pretty sure that one of them is "Won't acknowledge my existence.")

Palin also believes that she understands what is holding lawmakers back from jumping onto the impeachment bandwagon to hell: 

With all due respect, listen up, politicians; you’ve ignored your 7th grade American government lessons long enough.

Yes it is that THEY who are the undereducated ones.

If only they would have paid as much attention in school as little Sarah Heath did in between proselytizing to her classmates, stuffing her bra, and showing the boys that the barracuda did not always use its teeth.

As the great Keith Olbermann once opined, "This woman, is an idiot!"

P.S. By the way I thought this was as good a place as any to remind everybody that the current problem at the border with the unaccompanied children is NOT due to a porous border.

These children, and often adults as well, are TRYING to get captured.

They are not climbing over border fences in order to disappear into the country. They are actively seeking border patrol agents and surrendering because they are terrified and need protection.

There is no influx of guards, or addition of National Guard troops, that is going to curtail this migration into the country. All it will do is help the immigrants find the help they are seeking more quickly.

Somehow this fact seems to be evading the Republicans.