This is the first time I have chosen to speak out about that night. It is also the last time I intend to address it publicly. I have no plans to sue, I don't want or need money. I have no plans for a press conference or for doing any interviews.
So why speak out at all and why now? The simple answer is that it's the right thing to do. The truth deserves to be known. As I write this, more than 20 women have come forward, many with stories that are remarkably similar to mine. In response to these brave women, I have read comments like, "What took them so long?" and "What are they after now"? I would ask these people to remember that up until relatively recently, prosecuting rape was a "he said/she said" proposition where the victim was blamed for having worn "suggestive clothing" or questioned as to why she went somewhere with her rapist.
When this happened to me, the idea of drugging someone and raping them was almost fantastical. It was years before "date rape" drugs made the news, but it was a perfect modus operandi for a predator, rendering his victim unconscious or so incapacitated as to be unable to clearly answer police questions about the incident. After having done a lot of work on myself, I realize that we are only as sick as the secrets we keep. Once those secrets are spoken aloud, even if to just one person, they lose their power. I no longer feel the shame that kept me silent. Yes, I could have told my story years ago, and in hindsight I probably should have. It's time now that my voice be added and to finally pull the curtain back from this dark moment in my life.
This is an incredibly successful woman, with more money than she knows what to do with, repeating the same story told now by almost thirty different women.
As I reported before the person who convinced me that these allegations had to be taken seriously was Carla Ferrigno. Having read about her for years, and knowing the type of person she was, it forced me to realize that the man I used to look up to was in fact a rapist and predator. And that he had been victimizing women for decades.
I have to admit that it was not easy for me, as I had grown up on Cosby's comedy routines, Saturday morning cartoon, and TV show.
The picture I had in my head in NO way resembled the piece of garbage that we see today.
I also have to admit to a little shame that it took one person's testimony to convince me that all of the other women were telling the truth.
As Jay Leno, a person I do not always agree with, said:
“I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe women. You to go Saudi Arabia and you need two women to testify against a man. Here you need 25.”
I am a man who not only thinks quite highly of women, but who taught self defense classes to help protect them from predators, and STILL I was slow to be convinced.
That says something very fundamental, and very troubling, about how we see the victimization of women.
Even those of us who pride ourselves on how enlightened we are.
Well, he was tried by social media, but still -- how many witnesses does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 24 -- but if the light goes on with the 25th, then Job Done.
ReplyDeleteNot to lessen rape or sexual assault but one of my worst fears has been to be drugged against my will or unknowingly drugged. That is a part of this that is horrendous. It can happen to either sex and doesn't need to have any sexual component.
DeleteAll along I have wondered why more people haven't expressed the nightmare of Cosby drugging people. A serial drugger. Unfortunately when it is sexual assault people focus on that so much. They question or wonder more about the accusers.
I think if I had an experience like has been described I would think I had been kidnapped. What a shame Bill Cosby can get by with all he did.
My spidey sense told me decades ago that he wasn't the cute and cuddly character he played on TV. The first thing was the fact that all his kids' names began with 'E'. The Cosby parents were the first that I ever heard of to do that. It seemed very controlling to me, and I was only young at the time. Normal couples don't need to do it- Duggars do shit like that. Then there was his politics. I don't recall now what I learned but it seemed very Right-wing to me at the time, especially for a black man working in entertainment. I wish I could remember now.
ReplyDeleteSo, finding that he's really a creep and a criminal who preys on women is still a surprise but not a complete shock.
Well said 2:48
ReplyDeleteI think part of the problem is that Cosby had such a family friendly public image. I think there is a lot of denial.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I grew up with his comic presence. I listened to his records as a kid and cherished them, so this is all incredibly tragic - for his family and his victims. I just don't know what to say about someone who does such monstrous things, especially since he seemed to think that his public reputation provided him with the perfect shield against incrimination. It is just horrible.
M from MD
I was pretty heartbroken by this too. I am nearly 60 and remember the very early Bill Cosby albums. He was such a talent! He has been an icon for so long it is hard to see sometimes what is in front of our faces.
ReplyDeleteI remember him from I Spy. By the time my children watched his show I thought it was alright for them but something about him just didn't fit well with me. Still I was shocked with how treacherous and malformed it turned out that he is.
DeleteIts the tip of the cold cold iceberg. Bill creepy cosby is just one. Hollywood is full of predators. Folks that feel entitled to take and have zero respect for another human life. It comes in many forms at every level of society. Abuse. The Entitled. Liars. Takers in Hollywood, the locker room, church, work, and everywhere else. There is only one way to stop it. Speak up.
ReplyDeleteI think it shows that human nature, since time began, isn't good. Morality is man made. God is man made.
DeleteI personally believe we are all capable of such things. Look at the internet. Look at the way people freely lie using anonymity. Kids are bullied. Bloggers bully. Celebrity haters stir things to add drama to they own lives.
That's all really no different from Cosby.
Bless him. Bless anyone in the group I described. May they be led to the right path. Anyone is capable of change and finding themselves again.
Maybe you are capable of doing what Bill Cosby did, but I'm not. That's because I was raised by parents who taught me right from wrong.
Delete(you say god is man made but then you go on to say Bless him?)
LOL Palin is going to be on Hannity tonight.
ReplyDeleteGet ready to hear for more excuses.
She's a liar and a bitch.
ReplyDeleteShe is married to a pimp.
DeleteA Public Service Message for any sexist, knuckle-dragging neanderthal who may read this and STILL not get its impact:
ReplyDeleteSo, like, dude. If Cosby accusers were, um, good grass or customized Ferrarris? Dis be Red Alert -- like, the REAL DAMN DEAL n it really gotta clinch dis once and 4 fuckin all, k?
* Lady got NO goddamn financial incentive or personal reason to do dis (she got more mo-mo'n u'll ever have)
* She got same M.O. as all who've gone public
* She told her husband way back long ago
* She don't want nothin' now cept 2 say 'me too!'
* She say WHY she no press charges when it go down & it total make sense
IOW -- NO clever plot ... NO "hey, quick easy cash!" ... NO 'selective memory' (other than from Cosbone's 'amazing vitamins' or 'miraculous headache reliever' or 'herbal muscle relaxant' or whatever the fuck else he called his fuckin dope ...
Got it? So no more smack about 'greedy ho's' or 'wull, why dint she raport it??' ... done, finis, the end.
DR. HUCKSTERABLE DID IT.
Clear? Thank you.
This has been a public service message.
Oh, n if ur STILL not convinced? Guess maybe it just gotta happen 2 YOU ...
What?
DeleteI don't know much about him, we didn't watch his show in our home and as a kid I found his cartoon just kind of weird being that it was kind of an "inner city" thing that I didn't grow up with. I just can't believe that someone who seems to be as famous as he is was able to keep this buried for so long.
ReplyDeleteHow long has SP played the Trig is "my son" crap? seven years!! and who knows how long it will be before anyone comes forward with the facts?
DeleteRich and famous are the ones that can bury things for a long time. In England they have some comic pedophile. He was popular, loved, photos with Royal family for years. His seamy side was buried many years.
DeleteIt is possible for a King of Rock and Roll to be an ignorant hillbilly drug addict, it is possible for a King of Pop to diddle little boys, it is possible for Heisman trophy winner to be a butchering murderer.
DeleteAs long as we're a public willing to gull ourselves into believing that just because we admire someone's talent, we're at all informed of the quality of their virtue, there'll always be more 'shocking' stories like this.
It's been my conclusion for some time that it's safest to pick your heroes from those at least fifty years dead. By then, the substantial truths of them have likely been unearthed.
I spoke up at age 8 and am now in my 80's. My mother told me that I was never to make up such stories again. I never told anyone about any of the other abuses.
ReplyDeleteNo where is safe for women, no where. Working in the hospitals it was doctors on the prowl and one terrible incident where a patient set his sights on me.
I had to be removed from that ward and re-assigned without my same name tag because administration found the man had connected with a hospital nurse during his previous heart attack. That young nurse was mysteriously murdered and the case was never solved. I think it's called MONEY.
Protect your young girls especially if they have a tight little butt and a pretty face. A good mind makes the magnetism even more enticing, it seems.
No woman must believe that the word No means a damned thing to any male on the make. Keeping your distance and hiding when there is no other escape (the bottom of an old armoire was one of my safest spots) is paramount for your safety - from relatives and strangers who are would-be molesters. I know.
Anon 3:43--Bless you. You are not alone, and thank you for telling your story.
DeleteYes, thank you for bearing witness. I am so sorry that this is part of your history.
DeleteProtect, as well, the young women who may not be stereotypically attractive, or who might be gawky or at an awkward stage. When a girl like that summons up all her courage to report that she has been mistreated heinously, she may very well be laughed at cruelly and accused of "fantasizing." As though a budding young woman WANTS acknowledgment of her sexuality to come about in an unwanted and traumatizing fashion, at the hands of someone absolutely acting against her will--or even, in the case of drugging, in a manner she may not fully remember and/or be able to fight back against!
it takes your breath away.
ReplyDeletei was attacked under a date rape drug and to this day i cannot remember how it started, what happened, just waking up naked unable to move my body.
it is extremely troubling and i try to be kind to myself when i do fester about it.
Way to turn an article about a rape victim into and narcissistic rant. Count the I's in your post and you'll see what I mean. Also you don't report, you re-post.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you here?
DeleteI LOVE that Jay Leno quote. Bless him a thousand times for saying what he did. It's the perfect one liner, and it sums up the problem with the Cosby scandal in a way that even the most conservative dullard can understand. Best of all, it comes from JAY LENO, a non-controversial white guy whose audience is made up of the same type of people who also don't believe Cosby's accusers. Whenever someone I know expresses doubt about the Cosby scandal, I can now quote Jay. It's a shame that as a woman, I still need a quote from a man to make my point, but by god, I'm going to use it!!! Thanks, Mr. Leno!
ReplyDeleteFuck Jay Leno! I don't give a shit that Jay Leno is a white guy! That makes me even more likely to take his comments with a grain of salt! Because white men, are known to hate Bill Cosby more than anybody! To me, Jay Leno is just another white man, who wants to pile on! "Why is it so hard to believe women?" Oh, please. Like Jay Leno really cares! And, I'll never forgive "uncontroversal white man" Jay Leno for kissing $arah Palin's ass! Her appearance on his show, helped me make up my mind about him!
ReplyDeleteI see. Bill Cosby is a black man, and most of the accusers are white, so he MUST be guilty! I don't know if Bill Cosby is guilty, or not, but I'm not going to jump on the "he's guilty," just because over 20 women have come forward claiming that he raped them. There have been cases where people have lied in groups, to appear more credible. I can believe that Bill Cosby was probably a "player," and shagged a lot of women, but that doesn't mean he raped them.
I'm not sure which side is telling the truth, but a lot of innocent black men have been lynched, because of the lies of white women. This reminds me of a lynching. I find it suspect, that mostly black male celebrities are always accused of rape, or some other violent crime. Do you honestly believe only black male celebrities have gotten away with rape? Don't you think there could also be white celebrites out there who getting away with rape? Why is it that the victims of black celebrities always come forward, but the victims of white celebrities hardly ever come forward?
I'm having a hard time believing these women, because some of them (Janice Dickenson, etc.) have contradict themselves, and changed their stories. Plus, some of the accusers kept hanging around Bill Cosby, after he allegedly raped them. If they were so upset, why did they keep going back? This time, the accusers have changed tactics. This time, they decided it would be more believable if they got more than 20 women to come forward at the same time, and accuse Bill Cosby of rape. Because the last time, 3, or 4 accusers wasn't enough.
I also don't agree with women using their gender as a weapon, as if women have never lied about being raped. The woman involved in the famous Roe V. Wade case, was a promiscuous, and lied about being raped, so that she could get an abortion. Now, she is a born-again Christian, and opposes abortion. I'm not saying the accusers were promiscuous, what I'm saying is that sometimes women do lie about being raped. I'm not going to automatically believe a woman is telling the truth about being raped, just because she's a woman. Please.
This woman claims she is coming forward now, "because it's the right thing to do." Well, it was the "right thing to do," years ago! I know a lot white people don't "get it," but for years white people have tried to bring down black males who have money with scandals that involve violence, rape, or extra-marital affairs. And, often, the victims have been white. This just seems like another one of those instances. The fact that Rob Lowe, a white man, can have sexual intercourse, with a CHILD, and revive his career says a lot. Of course, the white privileged among us, don't notice the pattern, or the double-standard.
Or, choose not to.
Wow, that was quite a tirade. Please remember that the simplest answer is usually the correct one. Which makes more sense? 1) Bill Cosby, when he was a very powerful man in show business, sexually harassed or assaulted a bunch of women or 2) this is a grand conspiracy by a bunch of white women to bring down a black man who hasn't had much of a public presence in a long, long while.
DeleteYou sounds like a MRA, but I'm guessing you're just a self-loathing woman.
I'm kind of an old lady (67). I've known many men who have loved and admired Bill Cosby in his stand-up comedy routines and his TV shows. I never liked Cosby at all, and I wonder how other female readers here feel about him?
ReplyDeleteWhat I think is interesting is the actual face of Bill Cosby...What is happening to his face? Huge dark moles or warts are covering his face and he looks atrocious and scary as hell...it's like the Portrait of Dorian Gray...all his inner ugliness is coming out to show the world his disgusting and wretched being. Yuck. He is guilty as sin.
ReplyDeleteThirty women don't gang up to take down a pathetic old man, that is stupid. There were at least several black women who had this happen to them too. When it has happened to you,
ReplyDeletethere is no problem believing it. These women have nothing to gain, nothing, except by finally exposing this serial rapist, they may breathe a little easier by unburdening their souls. They are being reviled and attacked by many people out there. They are not suing Cosby for this, the statute of limitations has long since passed. Ted Bundy fooled the people he worked with, no one thought he a serial killer. There are many, many examples of people leading two different lives. Bill Cosby obviously did it. These women didn't come forward because he was rich and powerful and they knew he would crush them. They had no power or money to fight him. 6:17 is delusional.