Courtesy of Wonkette:
No one could have predicted that a Vegas musical about the loathsome Robertson family — those jerkwads who hunt ducks and hate homos and believe the only reason people don’t go around cutting off dicks is because the Bible says — would fail harder than Carly Fiorina running a major corporation. (Topical jokes!) And by no one, we mean everyone, even those without God on their speed dial:
A musical based on the family featured in the “Duck Dynasty” reality TV series is closing in Las Vegas, a little more than a month after it opened.
“The Duck Commander Musical,” based on the book “Duck Commander Family” by Willie and Korie Robertson, will shut down on May 17 after typically selling less than 100 tickets per performance despite heavy discounting, the Las Vegas Sun reports.
I wonder, how many drugs does a person have to do in order to make this seem a like a good idea?
Maybe if were staged in Nashville instead of Las Vegas it might have had a better run. Or better yet in Gilley's, that bar from "Urban Cowboy."
I wonder if it's true that the musical accompaniment was made up of duck calls and somebody blowing over the top of a half empty jug of moonshine?
Jesus Fucking Christ. Yeah, gee, screw that whole world leader crap, I wanna be a duck commander when I grow up! How fucking prestigious.
ReplyDeleteGilley's has been gone for years. The show might have done better in Branson, Missouri. That might have been a better place to have the show.
ReplyDeleteNot surprised it closed, though. What a dumb idea for a show.
I agree; Branson is obviously the right venue.
DeleteWhen your gene pond is as tainted as the Robertson's is nothing will last for long!
ReplyDeleteThe Real Shit!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.politicususa.com/2015/05/05/1-6-billion-dollar-budget-hole-louisiana-subsidizing-duck-dynasty.html
Don't laugh to quickly. They're taking this crap on the road! Soon to be seen in packed houses in Nashville, Branson, Wasilla...
ReplyDeleteThey're taking it one the road?
DeleteNow the only image I can conjure is of the Clampett family arriving in Beverly Hills.
Yes they are, Gryph, to cities, dinner theaters. They'll milk it until it's done. I'm thinking Branson might be a good home.
DeleteThey shouldn't count on laughing on their way to the road bank. No one on the road wants to see that shit either.
DeleteTake it back to the back woods of Louisiana. That's where it belongs.
DeleteAnon @ 7:20
DeleteNo one in the backwoods of LA has the money to go see a show.
God damn it, I had tickets in the front row. Heard the palins we're gonna' be there. I'm so sad,
ReplyDeletePalin curse ..... it strikes
ReplyDeleteI know what went wrong. They didn't have the Palins as part of 'the family.' geez, Sarah and Brissy would have worked for scale, and brought their own clothes even. Also. Too. When all ya got is fat men in fake beards pretending to be goobers while being richer than God thanks to the largesse of Louisiana taxpayers, that just doesn't sell to a Vegas crowd. They want to see magic, not cheap jokes. They want stars, not fake reality show families. What's next? 19 Kids and Counting on stage?
ReplyDelete>>They didn't have the Palins as part of 'the family.'<<
DeleteEven the Duk Klukkkers have some standards.
You know, it's getting harder & harder to tell what's real & what's The Onion....
ReplyDeleteWe moved to Charlotte NC from Oregon 3 years ago. They had just completed the NASCAR Hall of Fame with tons of government loans and grants that all those NASCAR fans coming to see the NASCAR Hall of Fame and Museum. Puh-leez. NASCAR fans have spent what little money they have coming to watch the races and staying in the parking lot in their trailers. They don't have any money to go to the museum downtown, and they don't have any money for memorabilia. The NASCAR HOF has defaulted on all of the loans and grants.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same for the Robertson fans. They'll watch it when it's free on tv, but real people with real jobs and real money aren't going to waste their time and hard earned cash on that shit. If I want to see some asshole like the Robertsons, I just have to go down to the Food Lion and watch them buy beer and smokes. I'm sure it's the same most everywhere.
Funny isn't it how NASCAR gets government grants but yet the right wing freaks want to take away grants for PBS which educates the public and our kids with sesame street and Mr. rogers.
DeleteBeen calling it Asscar or Nascrap for years. Bunch of fake ass b*llsh*t. Who the f*ck was smoking what that thought 800,000 people would pay $20.00 to see a museum?! lol I'd rather buy a beer or a hotdog for the $20.00 at the race!
DeleteBranson, MO.
ReplyDeleteOT Both Bristol and Dakota are ramping it up on their instagram accounts. The kid is a cutie and guess it is time to bring him out since Tripp is old news
ReplyDeletehttp://websta.me/n/bsmp2
Dakota... I am an American too without the war toys!
Deletehttp://websta.me/n/dakotameyer0317
wonder who this "sarahkhunt" is? change the k to a c, & remove the h, & it's about right....
DeleteMost likely she misses her first born and is happy that he can skype her.
DeleteAre we surprised at all that this was a failure? Heaven forbid, they are friends of the Palins and we all know that anything Sarah, Todd and Bristol touch flunks big time!
ReplyDeleteThe Duck boys should have known better!!
What a joke.
ReplyDeleteDon't tell me, the Sarah Palin Curse brought them down.
ReplyDeleteSo this means that people will sit on their couch at home, drink beer and watch the Ducks but they won't go out of their way to pay admission and sit in a Vegas theater to see them.
ReplyDeleteAhh....I remember Gilley's well...too bad it burned down in 1990...
ReplyDeleteOT but look has been dropped from the "Road to Majority" Conference in June. She was originally confirmed to attend, now she is not listed as a speaker. Anybody who is anybody in the conservative world is attending. Funnier still she should be on top of the ticket because this year they are partnering with "Concerned Women for America" Crowd. Man that sounds like a hootenanny
ReplyDeletehttp://www.roadtomajority.com/
LOL. I thought Duck Dynasty the Musical was a joke, like the Onion.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe anyone in their right mind would think this would work. I hope no one was stupid enough to invest in it unless they needed a huge tax write-off.
Next stop--"Duck Dynasty on Ice"! Could you just picture those assclods wobbling around on skates?
ReplyDeleteWhich brings me to an important question: did the Duck boys do the actual singing in this cultural event, or were real performers wearing fake, moth-eaten beards employed?
No. I watched the YouTube link below and I thought I saw some of the actors without their make-up, I.E. beards, in a rehearsal.
DeleteSo no, I don't believe any of the original Duck Dynasty are in this.
That said, I watched the link and WTF? Can't figure out any story line except they've obviously tried to make this into some sort of love story. There are five men, five women, porch swing, hugs, dancing.
Whatever.
No wonder this bombed.
BTW none of the women were portrayed as under 15.
Holy crapola, it's our lucky day! Here, for your enjoyment, is a preview on youtube! The featured song is "Let 'Em See You in Your Camouflage". OMG, help me up...
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUpM1PqxK7Q
We have a neighboring couple of mallard ducks who return year after year. They are everyone's friends. We respect them for their faithfulness to one another and for their great parenting skills. When a local raccoon destroyed the eggs several years ago we shared the distress of keening Mama and Papa M. When we would walk our beagle by their nesting area, Papa M. would chatter quietly to Mama, assuring her that there was nothing to worry about, that it was just the beagle on a leash anyway and she was on the other side of the road and he was there to protect her and the nest. This mallard family is a genuine "duck dynasty," not those fake dirty slobs making a ton of money mocking poor mountain people.
ReplyDeleteBeaglemom
Huh. Well, so much for Honey BooBoo: The Musical ever happening...
ReplyDelete