Monday, January 04, 2016

Televangelist explains that flying on private jets is necessary because you can't talk to God on those "demon filled tubes" they call commercial flights.

Courtesy of the Bipartisan Report:  

On a recent episode of Believers Voice of Victory, Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis asserted that they need their private jets, with Copeland asserting a true minister cannot talk to God on a commercial flight: 

“You couldn’t have done that on an airliner. Stand up and say “What’d you say, Lord? Okay? No? Yeah? And the guy sitting over there, saying, “What the hell does he think he’s doing?” You can’t do that! No, no…” 

Copeland and Duplantis also claimed that a private jet such as the one owned by Oral Roberts is essential because it “protects the anointing.” 

But the essence of the message from Brothers Copeland and Duplantis can be summed up thusly: Demons are traveling on the commercial airliners we all use. Yes, demons. Copeland was babbling on about how it’s a “dope-filled world” when he finally declared he simply cannot, will not “get in a long tube with a bunch of demons.”

You know at the beginning of that video this Jesse Duplantis guy acts out a conversation that he claims to have had with God, as if there was NOTHING at all insane about such a thing. 

And apparently millions of people who tune in to hear this bullshit agree with him.

Holy shitballs the one time that I was standing in an enclosed space where a person suddenly started talking to God, I was in a mental health facility and the guy was having a psychotic break.

Our response was to keep him safe while he went through the episode and then to up his medication in order to control his outbursts.

We did NOT buy him his own private plane.

People are fucking idiots.


  1. Anonymous4:10 AM

    I am sure $carah wholeheartedly agrees with these two. This is me, talking to God "God, please tell Kenneth Copeland to get a better set of teeth. The ones he has look cheap and too big." Such goldly guys, I bet they have vocabularies like the F U Payme family when they are not on camera. Surely televangelism is her next scam, she fits in with these guys so easily.

  2. Maybe the money-grubbing hypocrites should read the bible that they prattle on about endlessly:

    Matthew 10:9 "…9"Do not acquire gold, or silver, or copper for your money belts, 10 or a bag for your journey, or even two coats, or sandals, or a staff; for the worker is worthy of his support. "

    Or how about Mark 6:8 "…8 and He instructed them that they should take nothing for their journey, except a mere staff-- no bread, no bag, no money in their belt-- 9 but to wear sandals; and He added, "Do not put on two tunics."

    Or maybe Luke 9:2 "…2 And He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to perform healing. 3 And He said to them, "Take nothing for your journey, neither a staff, nor a bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not even have two tunics apiece."

    Barefoot with nothing but the shirt on your back, or private jet fitted all the luxuries possible?

    Hmm. What would Jesus do?

    1. You have the wrong testament. These people know only the Old Testament. The know nothing of Christ's teachings, The Gospels, those that gave up all they owned to follow Him. They are greedy, self-indulgent bastards. I'm sure they have AK-47s pointed at all closet doors to make sure nothing comes falling out!

    2. Anonymous5:10 AM

      I suspect the private jets have plenty of room for a few hookers in case the assholes want to really talk to God.

    3. Leland8:27 AM

      "Hmm. What would Jesus do?"

      Sorry, Nefer, you would have to first explain to them who Jesus was before they could consider the question.

  3. Anonymous4:16 AM

    Does he mean the demon filled people who donate $$$ to his grift?

  4. Anonymous4:52 AM

    That's why Sarah Palin prefers to fly on private jets when she goes to book signings or to give paid speeches because God prefers to fly on private jets. But if Sarah's books are bombing and no one wants to pay for her demon free private jets when she tries to sell books or give speeches or go to pancake breakfasts or bbqs then commercial airliners will do just fine for Sarah.

  5. Anonymous4:59 AM

    The next question is why do these plane owning evangelists block their travels on Flightaware so you don't know where they are speaking to God at? GD fucking crooks!

    1. Anonymous6:12 PM

      Here is an idea. No private foundation or non profit either owning or operating a privater aircraft may block public viewing of flight plans. Maybe have a provision where you have to file for a one week delay for security purposes but no blocking of "non profit" flights unless private money buys the flights.

  6. Isn't there an old joke that goes something like this: "Talking to god isn't a big deal. The problem is when he talks back." I'm not saying these guys are crazy....on the contrary....they're laughing all the way to the bank!

  7. NET Bible translation..."Net" ? anyway...

    "Woe to those who live in ease in Zion, to those who feel secure on Mount Samaria. They think of themselves as the elite class of the best nation. The family of Israel looks to them for leadership."

    There are many other versions of this 'script -- their reading drug of choice. And there is a reason they can't stand up in a demon plane and spout this crap -- it IS crazy and they need to be shut away.

    It's not these dotty, self-described "show business" guys that bother me so much as the dupes they "lead" who then vote for the god-bothering candidates, right down the line to school trustees who can infect the education of children with this junky thinking to keep the cycle continuing.

  8. Anonymous5:11 AM

    They both appear senile, high or under some sort of chemical influence.

  9. Anonymous5:12 AM

    I could be wrong but if you are an evangelist then I would think you would prefer to fly commercial planes where you are most needed so you can perform exorcism to get rid of the demons?

    1. Anonymous5:22 AM

      The commercial planes don't have Grey Poupon

    2. "you can perform exorcism to get rid of the demons"
      What? Work?

  10. Anonymous5:26 AM

    The evangelists are afraid to fly commercial planes because of the demons?

    The evangelists should ask themselves,

    What Would Jesus Do?

    1. Anonymous6:03 AM

      The 'soul bidness' cats made it quite clear that they need to be flying high for the LORD to get in touch with them.

      Jesus -because of family ties- could hear from THE LORD while strolling around on foot.

  11. Anonymous5:29 AM

    Did Creflo Dollar ever raise the $60M for the jet that God told him he needed? EYE ROLL.

    1. Anonymous6:13 PM

      If not then it is the devils work!

  12. Anonymous5:49 AM

    How does one know if the flight one of the voices to god was for spiritual reasons and not a Swiss skiing vacation with their latest affair?

  13. Guys such as these are so contemptuous of the simpletons who fund them they'll insult them to their faces, and the simpletons still donate. What kind of sad, pathetic lives do people lead who support these pornographers of faith?

  14. Anonymous7:21 AM

    I am sure if I were using other peoples money and didn't pay my fair share of taxes, even though I use public services, I would only fly on my tax exception jet also.

  15. ibwilliamsi9:02 AM

    So God ISN'T everywhere? How about if he wears a tinfoil hat on in the commercial airliner?

  16. Anita Winecooler4:15 PM

    If they REALLY loved God, they'd travel in a spacecraft. Band of gifting charlatans.


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