Saturday, March 05, 2016

The Bad Lip Reading version of Ted Cruz's political ads is significantly better than his actual political ads.

Courtesy of The Daily Beast: 

In case you haven’t noticed, this presidential election is a shit show, and it’s devolving into, well, whatever is worse than that. So when the folks at Bad Lip Reading dropped this gem of a faux Cruz campaign ad, it’s almost believable that the senator from Texas would smile and say, “I’d like to stick garden gnomes in this building,” or “if there’s one thing our country doesn’t need more of, it’s goose diarrhea!” Which is true, but still.

I think my favorite part is the hint at the end that Heidi Cruz is cuckolding him with some guy named Herbert Spinecki.

I doubt that any of us would blame her if that were true. 

Let's face it Ted Cruz has the kind of face that makes your stomach start to churn when you look at it.

And that was before we all saw him eat a booger during the debate.


  1. Anonymous6:19 AM

    I am nowhere near remotely attractive myself, but I can't stand to look at him; he gives me the creeps. Then he opens his mouth, and that voice.

    Just eeeww.

    1. Balzafiar7:59 AM

      Agree. That voice is enough to give one nightmares.

  2. Anonymous6:34 AM

    Was that a booger on his lip at the debate on Thursday night?

  3. Anonymous6:39 AM


  4. Anonymous6:39 AM

    Was that a booger or was it a coke rock? Whatever it was, it made me start gagging. The man is repulsive

    1. Anonymous7:26 AM

      I saw the "night of the BOOGER " two days ago, can NOT stop laughing and GAGGING..DISGUSTING..
      That man is REPULSIVE!

  5. 6:34
    Maybe a cold sore from Sarah when she was his bestest bud.

  6. Anonymous6:44 AM

    I still would love to see Heidi and his daughters smacked around along with Ted.

  7. Anonymous6:54 AM

    Was that a booger?

    I thought he was frothing at the mouth, like a rabid dog. Time to quarantine him or put him out of his misery for public health safety reasons.

  8. Anonymous6:56 AM

    Boogers- opiate of the republicans.

  9. I thought it was more truthful than his real ads.

  10. Anonymous7:41 AM

    I haven't been able to bring myself to go watch that video of whatever went into Cruz's mouth. just typing this is making me gag. Memories of a white blob in the corner of Trump's mouth during a speech still makes me ill.

    OT, but what's with that Bristol pic of yesterday? She's in Hawaii? She can travel to Hawaii but not come down to the 48 so Dakota and his family can meet Sailor?

  11. Anonymous7:44 AM

    Ewwww yukky!! No wonder his daughter didn't want him to kiss her!

  12. Anonymous7:58 AM

    O/T: But whatever you guys all said about MALOE, she was correct on this one, too:
    BAR$TOOL, the 'hardworking momma', IS IN HAWAII RIGHT NOW! (And she is documenting it with her Insta picture)

    1. If that is a 2 month 2 week old baby then I am blind! Yes MALOE was probably part of what she pretended to be, but she did get some things absolutely right.

    2. Anonymous9:00 AM

      Interesting, and I wonder if anyone documented her breastfeeding Sailor, who couldn't possibly be dragged off to Kentucky to visit her putative father.

      Archie Butt

    3. Anonymous9:38 AM

      Maybe Bristol has some leftover vacation days.

      Use it or lose it.

      What a hardass worker she is.

    4. Anonymous9:58 AM

      7:58am, Would you please link to MALOE's comment you reference? It was previously said MALOE wrote that Bristol was NOT going to Hawaii. But I don't see she ever wrote anything either way about Bristol and an upcoming trip. If you find the comment we can address rules of logic and whether or not it shows MALOE was right.

  13. Balzafiar7:58 AM

    Too much goose diarrhea? I agree; we have too many elected officials spewing it now!

  14. Anonymous8:03 AM

    You are a big lardass douchebag gryphen

    1. Anonymous8:12 AM

      8:03 your wife loves doing Gryphen. Don't worry she'll be home before you get home from work.

    2. Anonymous8:12 AM

      Do you feel better now?

    3. Anonymous8:13 AM

      Awww, are your fee fees hurt?

      Show us where on the doll that gryphen touched you.

    4. Thank you for your input.

      I am happy to have provided a space for you to share your thoughts so...eloquently.

    5. Anonymous9:54 AM

      Gryphen, you can't take these insults lying down, or even leaning against a sturdy wall. You MUST fight back!

      When someone calls you a douchebag, you have to summon your courage, steel your nerve and call out in a determined yet resolute voice: "OH, YEAH???"

      In the unlikely even that the bully persists, you should hold up a clenched fist and mutter "Why, I oughta..." and leave the open-ended threat sink in. That will stop 99% of angry chickenshit conservative commentarians.

      But if you meet that one in a thousand chuckleheads like 8:03, you have to do what you have to do or they will never stop taunting you. What works for me without fail in this situation is to set my jaw, stare menacingly at my opponent and and growl "So's your mother"

      Seriously, bro, that'll shut 'em down, no doubt about it.

    6. There, there.

    7. Anonymous11:22 AM

      Now you just run along and clean the baby.

    8. Anonymous1:38 PM

      8:03 is on one. If you can't handle the truth, go back to c4pee, assclown. Gryphen is too nice to the Palin ass-licking trolls.

  15. Anonymous8:12 AM

    I see the Ted Cruz comparison to Hillary Clinton comment you won't post but me talking shit to you, you post. You like the Jerry Springer drama

    1. Anonymous9:02 AM

      Bristol is that you? You have your own blog to cry in.

    2. Anonymous1:35 PM

      8:12 AM Your shit talking only tells who you are, Palin troll.

    3. Anonymous5:41 PM

      English your second language? That ok fine.
      Today's lesson.... don't confuse Ben Gay for KY. The jelly, not the state.

  16. Anonymous8:55 AM

    Tough guy Donald Trump not too long ago:
    Watch "Trump rips four-star general" on YouTube

    Watch "Trump cites bullets dipped in pigs' blood to deter M..." on YouTube

    Flip Flop Donald Trump just recently :

    Donald Trump reverses position on torture, killing terrorists' families

    .... After advocating the killing of terrorists' families and the benefits of waterboarding, Trump reversed course after condemnation from former cabinet members, lawmakers and intelligence and military officials, some of whom denounced him as "utterly unfitted to the office" of president.

    Others suggested that the military would be within its rights to refuse to obey those orders. ....

  17. Anonymous9:03 AM

    Gryphen the Jerry Springer of Alaska

    1. Anonymous9:24 AM

      If you think you're hurting his feelings, more power to you. You're only showing what an absolute douche you are.

    2. Anonymous9:48 AM

      We know the entire Palin klan are the Honey Boo Boos of Murrica.

    3. Anonymous9:55 AM

      So's yer mother

    4. Anonymous11:25 AM

      You know what palin men call Halloween pumpkins? All filthy words describing the vagina.

    5. Anonymous1:33 PM

      9:03 AM The Palins are the Jerry Springer all time worst guests of Gryphen's blog. Their dysfunction never ceases. Will Bristol find her lumbersexual in Hawaii? Will Bristol try to tell Dakota that Sailor got too much sun in Hawaii, and that is why she looks biracial?

  18. Anonymous9:44 AM

    That was hilarious! IMO, his wife is just as smarmy and repulsive looking as he is.

  19. Anonymous10:02 AM

    I need a bogel for the glotch just doesn't stand next to Save a pretzel for the gas jets.
    Just sayin.

  20. Anonymous10:02 AM

    This is one of the funniest 'bad lip-readings' ever! I wish, however, you hadn't brought up the booger. I tried to forget it after seeing last night's Jimmy Fallon with the close-up video of the booger incident. As if it weren't hard enough to look at Cruz' face before.

  21. Anonymous10:11 AM

    This is who Ted Cruz reminded me of from the moment I saw his ugly face.

  22. Anita Winecooler5:45 PM

    I love these clips, the people behind them are comedic geniuses. Even when making fun of this bus seat sniffer, he looks slimy and makes my stomach turn.

  23. Anonymous6:52 PM

    I found Cruz absolutely repulsive before the booger incident. Now, I need a bucket when I see his ugly face. Who wants a president that makes you vomit? Obama is a nice looking man. I guess I am spoiled now when I see a repulsive booger eater!


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