Wednesday, April 06, 2016

North Carolina church threatens repercussions against woman for getting gay married, despite fact she has not attended the church for 15 years.

Courtesy of LGBTQ Nation: 

Upon learning that one of their former members, Kelly Toney, is in a loving, committed marriage with another woman, the church took it upon themselves to intervene. 

It didn’t matter that Kelly hadn’t actually attended the church in a decade and a half. 

The letter calls for Kelly to see the light, admit her sins, divorce her wife — essentially turn her happy, loving life completely upside-down so that it fits with one subjective interpretation of an ancient text. 

“If there is no willingness on your part to receive this appeal and display repentance and abandonment of this area of open immorality,” the church writes, “then the Church will have no choice but to take appropriate and prayerful action to address the standing of your fellowship with this Body at such a time that will be determined by the leadership and members of this congregation.”

Apparently this church is kind of like the Mafia. You don't quit them, they quit you.

How arrogant must you be to think that you can destroy a woman's relationship, shame her into denying her sexuality, and then convince her to rejoin your congregation after fifteen years?

I'm sorry I forgot, she's just a woman. And according to the Bible she really does not have an opinion until a man tells her what it is.


  1. Jkarov2:53 AM

    Correct Gryhpen.

    Biblically speaking women fall under the "covering" of an adult male, husband or father.

    Without that oversight and covering, a girl or woman is considered out of order, and she must repent.

    Men have pre-eminent status in the fundagelical world, and women are to submit completely to men, as unto god.

    So says your bible, and that's why men feel they must control women's sexuality, eliminate contraception and abortion, and force complete subservience.

    Ephesians 5:22-24: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife...wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

    1 Corinthians 11:7-9:"For a man is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head."

    1 Corinthians 14:34-35: "...women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says, If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."

    1 Timothy 2: 11-15
    I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

    Notice a pattern?

    All are from that rigidly hateful Pharisee, Paul of Tarsus who church fathers in 400 AD decided was "inspired".

    His writings are responsible for much of the terrible suffering, rape, and oppression women have suffered over the 2000 years since those letters were written.

    To sum up, women are flawed creatures, given to deception, willing to lead men into temptation, who must be disciplined, subject to adult males, submissive in all things, and can be saved by shutting up, staying home, keeping house having 19 kids, and submitting absolutely to men.

    1. Anonymous9:10 AM

      Silliness from another misogynist, Ireneaus. Also, internal contradiction. depending on which version of Genesis one read, woman was created from male or from dirt contemporaneously with the man.

    2. Jkarov10:06 AM

      @9:10 am?
      Doesn't matter which version of Genesis, the entire bible is filled with mythology that has zero relevance to 21st century humans.

      Reading up on Ireneaus, not sure at all why he would be relevant, because regardless of his stand on supremacy of the Advent of Christ, it does not obviate the bigotry, prejucide, or misogyny of Paul of Tarsus.

    3. Anonymous10:37 AM

      I left my church after the pastor sermonized on this very point, saying I, recently separated from my husband, AND my children couldn't be seen or blessed by god except through the male church leadership. It was devastating.

  2. Randall2:54 AM

    Dear Church,

    Homosexuality is not mentioned in the Ten Commandments - but adultery IS.
    Until you purge the adulterers from your Church, please send no further condemnations of immorality.

    Fuck You very much,

    1. Boscoe5:09 AM

      Not to mention that only "a man laying with a man" is mentioned, not "homosexuality" so clearly lesbians are okay with Yaweh... unless the church wants to admit that they've "added one word or taken one word away" from the text, which is apparently the worst sin you can commit.

  3. Leland3:09 AM

    Before I retired, there was receptionist at work who was an extreme Fundy. She was ranting and raving one day about a woman who "stole" a wife away from her "loving husband" and happy marriage. It never seemed to sink in that the marriage couldn't have been too damned happy if the woman could "steal" the wife away. She just kept ranting about gays and the sanctity of marriage and so on.

    Her almost violent hatred of gays kept her running her mouth nearly all day - until someone pointed out to her that MEN "stealing" another man's wife happened thousands of times every day!

    Unfortunately, that stopped her for only a brief time and she went back to her tirade. Even the boss - another fundy - got tired of her eventually and fired her for sowing hate and discontent and creating a very uncomfortable working condition.

    And the woman she was pissed about wasn't even a member of her church! So this story doesn't surprise me in the least. Fundies want absolute control.

    1. Anonymous5:36 AM

      Fundies are all such stupid whining bores "My God says your marriage is a sin, so I'm gonna throw a tantrum all day."

  4. Anonymous4:19 AM

    Oh jezuz, I live in NC. I am so ashamed of the state government, and so ashamed of these so-called humans who are heaping hate on these women.
    Thanks for the link to the article, Gryph. I love that you always link to the original writing.
    I MUST point out that I couldn't find any names of the baptists who sent the hate and humiliation letter. How very brave of these bigots to put their names on the intolerance note, OHHH wait, they didn't!!!
    Oh baby, down the rabbit hole, let's see if I can find/post some least the freakin preacher's name should be known dont ya think?
    I'll see what I can find.....

  5. Anonymous4:41 AM

    I'm the one who posted about finding Names associated with this hate letter.
    Tried google, and this is ALL I COULD FIND, very dissapointed!
    An address and a phone #. 188 E. Church St. Bostic NC 28018 (828)245-0864.
    They'll get a letter from me, and I WILL sign my name. This atheist isn't afraid to stand by her conscience, or my personal sense of right and wrong. What's being done to these perfectly nice ladies is WRONG! I figure if I give 'em a call, I'll get some bullshit voice mail and still won't get any names. What cowards these faith warriors are. Just like the morons that tried to ruin The Malheur.
    How very surprising that these brave faith warriors stand up for Jeeezez and put their names along side their hate, snicker-irony.
    Not even the preacher-pastor-whatever they call their head charlatan was listed.
    The facebook page for this church is worth a visit. Thank the flying spaghetti munsta that people are blowing up those baptists' shit on there. Makes for some heartwarming reading, and the people defending these ladies seem to have no problem attaching a name to their comments. Hmm.
    Someone posted this(paraphrasing) on IM:
    "Any sane person knows the only real sin is the intentional harming of an innocent vulnerable non-consenting victim. Anything else is made up nonsense designed to control you."

    1. Anonymous9:29 AM

      write a letter to the local paper!

  6. Anonymous5:05 AM

    Dear Congregation,

  7. Anonymous5:35 AM

    This is both foolish and reprehensible that any church would even give a person's private life any thought, goid or bad.

    It does remind me of the "threats" a distant fundie family member of mine makes
    when she believes the gop is misbehaving...she threatens to change her voter registration to Democrat. That's it. Big. Effing. Deal. This relative always has & always will vote straight ticket gop. This church's bs sounds like it is probably going to give Ms. Toney to religious equivalent of making a child stand in a corner for a "timeout". she's scared now!

  8. Anonymous5:42 AM

    Proof that same sex couples are as normal as heteros: they have cradle robbing in common also and too.

    1. Leland6:37 AM

      5:42, would you care to elucidate on that comment? And explain what connection it has to this posting?

  9. Anonymous8:46 AM

    Fifteen years down the road is not enough to distance yourself from a church? I will say that churches are or the people there are busybodies and will talk about anyone that does things they don't approve of. My old church was like that. A friend of mine decided on her own I was sleeping with my boyfriend, now husband, and told people about it. She apparently wanted me to be confronted by church leaders. Whatever I left after that and never have gone to church again in nearly a decade. This is a ridiculous story. This woman got off that road a long time ago, leave her alone.

    1. Anonymous9:13 AM

      Look at the RCC, it is very difficult and expensive to excommunicate oneself. Once baptized always RCC is how they inflate their numbers and their influence.

    2. Anonymous9:14 AM

      In any country, it should be sufficient to write a legal notice in the local paper and send a certified letter to any church that one no longer wishes to be a member. Any communication from church after that is harassment.

    3. Anonymous9:47 AM

      Well said 9:14 am.

    4. Leland11:47 AM

      9:14, it shouldn't BE necessary. One should not have to officially resign from a church. And whether or not she had done that, it is STILL harassment! That church made an open ended veiled threat of action. Any decent lawyer can construe it with all sorts of negative connotations!

  10. Anonymous10:59 AM

    This church's view on women/sex/marriage is abhorrent theology and the reprimand letter is arrogant and sanctimonious with a dash of cruelty.

    But isn't this exactly how the whole church thing is supposed to work in a society with freedom of religion and separation of church and state?

    Just keep it in the church. The problem comes when the 'believers' try to use laws and the government to impose their sanctimonious cruelty on society.

  11. Anita Winecooler5:24 PM

    Screw Them. After fifteen years, they pulled their head out of the toilet because a former congregant is living her own authentic life? You'd think science could come up for a creme against this fungus.

    What in the world makes them think a letter like that would shame them into returning? They're having a party and doing the Irish Jig, asshats!
    Clean up your own house, and leave people alone.

  12. Anonymous3:42 PM

    I don't understand why Christians are so upset about gay people. After all, Lot, in the Old Testament, was gay - the Bible says he went into the city of Sodom looking for some "righteous men." And we all know the Bible must be right....right?

    Tom, in FL

  13. Anonymous8:13 AM

    "Dear church, go suck a bag of dicks.

    Unsincerely yours, yada yada.

    PS: Also, go fuck yourself."

    The only appropriate response to that kind of letter.


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