Tuesday, July 05, 2016

Phil Robertson has proof that Jesus existed. It's called the calendar, duh.

Duck Dynasty Dude Hilariously Proves Beyond a... by DailyPolitics
Courtesy of Raw Story: 

Duck Dynasty dad Phil Robertson had some of his trademark Christian wisdom at the Western Conservative Summit in Denver, Colorado this weekend to help enlighten people how he knows Jesus is really the son of God. 

“If your calendar is dated of all the human beings who have ever walked on the Earth, and your calendar is dedicated and predicated to just one of ’em, evidently something rather large went down,” Robertson explained.

Well there you have it then.

Of course for some reason Robertson failed to mention that the Gregorian calendar was created by Christians who were sort of predisposed to believe Jesus existed, without regard to any evidence proving it one way or the other.

Robertson also fails to address the fact that if one were to use the calendar to prove the existence of a god or son of god, that it could then also be used to prove the existence of the Roman gods Saturn (Saturday) and  Mars (March), and the Norse god Thor (Thursday).

By the way according to the Chinese calendar today is Yi-Wei (Sheep) (6th month), 3, 4714, or the Year of the Monkey.

Damn this Robertson guy is a simple fuck .


  1. Randall6:24 AM

    And if you can get the most powerful regime (Rome) on the continent (Europe) to launch crusades, where soldiers (terrorists) of the State are sent to kill (pogrom) and torture (inquisition) any and everyone who doesn't believe in YOUR god...
    then yeah...
    your calendar will probably be the one most widely accepted.

    Praise Jesus (or else)

  2. Anonymous6:31 AM

    It is also known to Christians that Jesus was born in the spring, not December 25th.

    1. Anonymous10:46 AM

      We always laugh in our family that the birth of Jeebus is a fixed date yet his death is a variable lunar based date.
      Oh no, man didn't pick a date to boost the end of year economy and give peeps a vacay.....

  3. Anonymous6:39 AM

    Okay, in my day he would have been institutionalized.

    On a related topic I saw a funny comment on a gay blog referring to his family's "yuppie" pics before their t.v. show and "bearded hillbilly" pics after.

    It was referred to as "Hillbilly Drag"...

    1. The funny part is how their defenders go, "people change their appearances all the time!" One person, maybe. Every male family member just as they are selling a reality show and launching their 'brand'? Get real!

    2. Anonymous11:00 AM

      Yeah, it's funny how the entire family went from Polo shirts and khakis to plaid flannels and overalls FOR MONEY :)

  4. Anonymous6:48 AM

    He was always ignorant. Now he is just plain stupid. Go fuck a duck phil.

  5. Anonymous6:51 AM

    Is there really any legit reasoning he didn't exist? I thought the argument was that it's bunk he was the son of God and blah blah. Pretty sure a man named Jesus existed. But wasn't different from any other dark skinned jew then.

    1. Anonymous7:21 AM

      "Nailed: Ten Christian Myths That Show Jesus Never Existed at All" on Amazon

  6. Anonymous6:56 AM


    How the fuck did this guy ever read a playbook?

    Wait wait, don't tell me! A former football player, maybe we can blame it on CTE?

    1. Anonymous10:50 AM

      Speaking of CTE, we watched Concussion last night.
      Fuck the NFL! I'm convinced the reason this movie was Oscar shunned has nothing to do with Black actors and everything about keeping people from caring about this movie.
      Hands down better than Spotlight.
      Will Smith was robbed.
      And only 10% of American parents need to keep their kids out of football to make major changes.

  7. Anonymous6:59 AM

    I recently had a woman tell me that the existence of oxygen proves the existence of God. Her "reasoning" was that oxygen is invisible and can't be sensed, yet is necessary to our existence...therefore, God.


    1. Balzafiar10:27 AM

      Oxygen can indeed be sensed. Take a bottle of oxygen, open the valve slightly and let it blow on your skin. You will sense it.

    2. Anonymous10:58 AM

      Heehee she needs an all-expense-paid trip around the Large Hadron Collider :)

  8. Anonymous7:17 AM

    There are Stupid People.

    There are Very Stupid People.

    Then, at the top of the heap, are the DUCK DYNASTY STUPID PEOPLE.

  9. Anonymous7:23 AM

    Hey! He sounds like a perfect VP candidate for Trump LOL

  10. Anonymous7:28 AM

    O/T Hillary Clinton - no charges on email investigation

    1. Anonymous7:58 AM

      Something else for him to indict her on if he's elected president.

    2. Anonymous8:23 AM

      7:58 am Bwahahahahaha ARE YOU SERIOUS?

    3. Anonymous8:36 AM

      No, I'm not serious.I forgot the . He thinks his word will be the law.

  11. Don't forget Tiw (Tuesday), Wodan/Odin (Wednesday), Thor (Thursday), and Frige (Friday).

    "We drew up a document based on some of our beliefs, so that document proves our beliefs are true." What? That man is an idiot.

  12. Leland7:38 AM

    Apparently he is also ignorant of the fact that, little by little, C.E. (standing for Common Experience) is replacing A.D.

    This guy must also believe the earth is flat and agree with the "logic" which states: A fish swims. A man swims. Therefore, man is a fish.

    Gad. It just seems the dumb gets greater with greater belief.

    1. Anonymous8:33 AM

      or Common Era, perhaps?

    2. Lelad3:09 PM

      Yeah. Thanks, 8:33

  13. Anonymous7:47 AM

    Let's not forget Wednesday (Woden's day, or Odin), and Friday (Frigga's day). Two more Norse deities that the calendar proves the existence of.

  14. Anonymous8:09 AM

    The Gregorian calendar now is use throughout most of the world was put in use in the late 1500's by Pope Gregory. But the Gregorian calendar was just a modification of the Julian calendar, put into use in 46 BC by Julius Caesar, 46 years before the make-believe Jesus supposedly was born.

    1. Lelad3:10 PM

      And the Aztec calendar goes back even farther!

  15. Anonymous8:32 AM

    Don't mock Robertson for his thoughtful scholarship! If you'd spend about FIVE minutes reading your Bible you would realize he has TOTALLY exacerbated the entire issue and no one with the brain Jeebus gave a goose could possibly refudiate it!!!

    Also, too.

  16. Anonymous9:53 AM

    He always looks as though he was dragged out of a duck blind. Face paint, sweat stained clothinng and all. He just looks DIRTY.Who elected HIM as replacement for Billy Graham?

    1. Balzafiar10:30 AM

      Looks dirty? He is dirty, no matter how much he tries to scrub it off.

  17. Anonymous10:59 AM

    Well, I realize that I've been sick (shingles) but I didn't understand a word of that Robertson statement. Is he speaking in tongues?

  18. Anita Winecooler4:35 PM

    Of course Jesus Christ existed. What did people yell when they hit their thumb with a hammer while missing a nail?


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