The Republican's "Secret Society" conspiracy theory falls apart in hilarious fashion.

Courtesy of the Inquisitr:  

On Tuesday, Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI) appeared on Fox News to declare that a text message he had seen between fired FBI agent Peter Strzok and FBI lawyer Lisa Page was a smoking gun that proved there was a “secret society” within the Federal Bureau of Investigation dedicated to bringing down President Donald Trump. By Thursday, however, when the text had been revealed by ABC News to appear to be harmless banter between the pair, Johnson was forced to admit to the “real possibility” that the text was a joke. 

Naturally, Twitter pundits were very happy to pounce on the news, heaping scorn on Johnson and the other Republican congressmen pushing the “secret society” conspiracy. 

This latest controversy actually began several months back when the Robert Mueller investigation into possible collusion between the Russian government and members of the Trump administration to affect the outcome of the 2016 presidential election announced that agent Peter Strzok was being fired after it was discovered that he had sent text messages insulting to the president. Republican members of both the Senate and House Intelligence Committees, who are also investigating the Trump-Russia scandal, then asked to see the texts in question to determine if there was an anti-Trump bias in the FBI. The FBI released some texts to the committees but announced that texts from a five-month period were “lost.” According to a report from CNN, this alarmed Republican members of the House Committee, such as Trey Gowdy (R-SC) and Matt Gaetz (R-FL), who were proponents of the theory that there was a “deep state” coup being attempted by members of the intelligence services to unseat President Trump. The FBI has said that the texts were “lost” due to a “glitch” in the system. 

Donald Trump himself commented on the missing emails, tweeting it was “one of the biggest stories in a long time.”

Of course Trey "Benghazi" Gowdy and Fox News also took the bait:

Investigative journalist Sara Carter joined "Fox & Friends" Tuesday morning to react to newly revealed text messages exchanged between top FBI counterintelligence official Peter Strzok and senior FBI lawyer Lisa Page, with whom Strzok was having an extramarital affair. 

According to Reps. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.) and Rep. John Ratcliffe (R-Texas), who saw the messages, Strzok makes reference to a "secret society" of anti-Trump agents within the Department of Justice and the FBI who had their first meeting the day after Trump won the election in November 2016.

Can you say "smoking gun?"

Well don't say it yet, because as it turns out this is all based on a joke.

Courtesy of HuffPo: 

One text that Page sent Strzok early on the morning of Nov. 9, 2016, has dominated the conservative media world this week, serving as a springboard for a Republican conspiracy theory suggesting that the nation’s premier law enforcement organization was plotting a coup against Trump within hours of his stunning victory. 

“Are you even going to give out your calendars? Seems kind of depressing,” Page, a FBI lawyer, wrote in the text to Strzok from her FBI-issued phone. “Maybe it should just be the first meeting of the secret society.” 

Republican lawmakers seized upon the “secret society” reference this week, claiming to see sinister motives, and it started popping up all over cable news chyrons. But, in fact, it was almost certainly a joke, a bit of gallows humor after an election that featured Russian interference. 

So what was that “calendars” reference all about? Out of context, it’s a bit confusing. But the backstory is actually kind of funny. The New York Times first reported that the “calendars,” which the Times said had a “Russia theme,” were a gag gift for those working on the early Russia probe. 

A source familiar with the text messages filled HuffPost in on the details. It turns out that, as a joke, Strzok had purchased calendars featuring “beefcake” photos of Vladimir Putin doing manly, tough-guy things like riding a horse.

Yeah, so that happened.

I have to say at this point I do not know how anybody takes Fox News or the Republican party seriously anymore.

Phil Robertson has proof that Jesus existed. It's called the calendar, duh.

Duck Dynasty Dude Hilariously Proves Beyond a... by DailyPolitics

Courtesy of Raw Story: 

Duck Dynasty dad Phil Robertson had some of his trademark Christian wisdom at the Western Conservative Summit in Denver, Colorado this weekend to help enlighten people how he knows Jesus is really the son of God. 

“If your calendar is dated of all the human beings who have ever walked on the Earth, and your calendar is dedicated and predicated to just one of ’em, evidently something rather large went down,” Robertson explained.

Well there you have it then.

Of course for some reason Robertson failed to mention that the Gregorian calendar was created by Christians who were sort of predisposed to believe Jesus existed, without regard to any evidence proving it one way or the other.

Robertson also fails to address the fact that if one were to use the calendar to prove the existence of a god or son of god, that it could then also be used to prove the existence of the Roman gods Saturn (Saturday) and  Mars (March), and the Norse god Thor (Thursday).

By the way according to the Chinese calendar today is Yi-Wei (Sheep) (6th month), 3, 4714, or the Year of the Monkey.

Damn this Robertson guy is a simple fuck .

Duck Dynasty star claims that "there is no such thing as Atheists"...because you know calendars. Wait, what?

Courtesy of The Christian Post:

'Duck Dynasty' star Si Robertson, who's known for being an outspoken Christian, told CP Voice earlier this week that as a Vietnam veteran he knows there's no such thing as an atheist because when people find themselves in a life-threatening situation they cry out to God, saying, "please help me." 

In an interview with CP Voice on Wednesday, Robertson, along with the film's lead actor Kevin Downes, commented on how the Gospel is presented in the letters between the two men. "One is a skeptic. And there's a lot of skeptics," said Robertson. "I dont believe there's a such thing as an atheist. Because there's too much documentation. Our calenders are based on Jesus Christ." 

"Whether you believe in Him or not, every time you write down the day's date you're saying He's here," continued Robertson, who reiterated his point that when it comes to circumstances of life and death, there aren't any atheists. "Because if you get in a serious bind, the first thing you'll do is say [God,] please help me."

Yeah that last part is demonstrably untrue. It is just what these holy rollers want to believe.

As for the first part.....what?

If I use the same calendar as everybody else, which is kind of important if I don't want to miss an appointment, that means I do not exist? That's ridiculous.

After all I'm pretty sure I exist. Don't I? 

I put up a Christmas tree every year, does that mean I have to believe in Santa Claus?

I also bought some Cadbury eggs and Peeps for the kids I work with last April, does that mean I believe in the Easter Bunny?

If this is the kind of logic that these people use to convince themselves that they are right and we are wrong, no wonder we are gaining more supporters every day.

Seriously a calendar?

(For more information on the Gregorian calendar click here.)

If skeptics created a calendar of horoscopes. .

My ex-wife used to check her horoscope every morning in the ADN before she would do anything.

It assigned a ratio between one to five stars indicating the kind of day she should expect.

My wife would often make clothing choices, change appointments, and decide what kind of mood she would in be based solely on that imaginary criteria.

For the most part I did not bother to point out the ignorance of basing life decisions on the appearance of stars billions of light years away, or let her in on the fact that many of those points of light are from stars that have burnt out millions if not billions of years ago. It would not have done much good anyway.

You really cannot chip away at a person's superstitions if they have decided that they are an important part of how they perceive the world.

I know, I've tried.

This might be Sarah Palin's silliest Facebook post yet. And considering it's Sarah Palin, that's really saying something.

Courtesy of the GI Joe Groupie's Facebook page:

Happy National Airborne Day! My son Track reminded me that today is the anniversary of the first official Army parachute jump in 1940! 

Wait, what?

First off I seriously doubt that Track reminded her of this, because it does not sound like an anniversary that a guy in his twenties would give a shit about. (Besides from what I hear he may have trouble understanding what day of the week it is, let alone what "special" day of the month it is.)

I think this is clearly another case of Palin waving her titty tassels at the military in order to hang onto her "combat veteran" cred. And it reeks of desperation.

Of course perhaps it is as simple as Palin wanting to use this photo with this caption, but then chickened out at the last minute and left the wording off.

Kind of sounds like her, doesn't it?

Or hey maybe I am completely in the wrong, and Palin is just a huge supporter of national days that nobody else gives a rat's ass about.

If that is true than I guess we will soon hear her giving a shout out to National Mail Order Day tomorrow, National Soft ice Cream Day the day after, and National Tooth Fairy Day on the 22nd.

However I will bet big bucks she will ignore National Women's Equality Day on the 26th.