Thanks to a Duck Dynasty dipshit a film I had no intention of seeing is now one I wouldn't see even under threat of torture.

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

One of the stars of TV’s “Duck Dynasty” urged Christians to take their non-believing friends to see an upcoming Nicolas Cage movie, saying it might convert them. 

Willie Robertson recorded a short promotional video that was posted Friday morning to the Facebook page set up for “Left Behind,” an upcoming feature film based on the popular religion-themed book series that depicts the end times. 

“Like most Christians, my family and I can truly say that we’re excited about the soon return of Jesus, and I’m sure, if you’ve been watching the news lately, you know that that return could be any day from now,” Robertson said. 

He said the film, which he described as “an action-packed thriller that will take viewers on a wild ride to the day of the Rapture,” would encourage atheists and non-Christians to convert. 

“It’s a warning to those, if it happened today, would be left behind, and I believe people are going to make that life-changing decision to follow Christ on the way home from the theater on Oct. 3,” Robertson said. “Let’s all make sure we bring some friends and family to see this movie – people who need to see to believe.”

My new goal is life is to be left behind by these fundamentalist imbeciles. 

And I can hardly wait for it to happen, Look I even promise to water your plants and walk your dog after you leave.

Just go already!

However the problem with the idea of the return of Jesus, and all of the miraculous occurrences that are supposed to surround it, is that it was already supposed to have happened during the lifetimes of his disciples.

That's right folks the event that all of those sidewalk preachers and revival tent evangelicals have been warning you against is already thousands of years past its "sell by" date.

Essentially running off to get "saved" after seeing this movie is like buying rental car insurance for a car that your returned safely to the lot over fifty years ago.

Besides this movie has Nicholas Cage in it.

When was the last time that a Nicholas Cage movie had anything in it that even remotely reflected reality? 

Big budget "Left Behind" movie coming to a theater near you.

Holy crap! You know it's a good movie when it has Nicholas Cage in it, right?

This of course follows this weird Christian movie renaissance that we have witnessed in 2014. 

We had the abysmal God is not Dead, the Noah movie starring Russell Crowe, Heaven is for Real, and I understand there are several more coming to a theater near you in the coming months.

Of course the Left Behind book series has already inspired quite a few straight to video movies, and a few low budget theatrical releases, but none of them featured the guaranteed box office appeal of Nicholas Cage.

No this is big time folks.

And remember folks this is the Dominionist Seven Mountains mandate to take over the world by dominating the cultural peaks. Arts and Entertainment is the fourth peak.

And now that they have Nicholas Cage, they will be unstoppable.