Most brutally honest review of Sarah Palin's crappy propaganda movie I have ever read!

Image courtesy of Azure Ghost

 Courtesy of Pajiba:

So I sat down and watched this movie. It was about a secondary figure suddenly catapulted into the limelight to basically become a star, a hero for many. Everyone attacked the way they talked, the things they said or did, as stupid or backwoodsy. They made fun, said terrible things, but in the end, the hero triumphed by maintaining that lovable folksy knowledge and staying pure to their smalltown honest upbringing. And that man’s name was Tow Mater and the film was Cars 2. 

And that’s two bullshit paragraphs about nonsense and empty rhetoric and avoidance to get to the point that holy fucking fuck me in the shit is Stephen K. Bannon’s The Undefeated the worst fucking thing to happen to American cinema since The Ku Klux Klan discovered D.W. Griffith. It’s not a documentary. It’s a fucking commercial for Sarah Palin. And not even a good one. Now, I’m not trashing the film because it’s one sided. I mean, hell, Michael Moore’s been sweatily doing that for years. It lacks a fundamental dimension to even have sides. It’s literally a chronicling of campaign promises spouted by members of her campaign staff and Republican pundits for a mindmelting two hours, intermingled with a soundtrack and imagery that’s so hilariously bad, I want to show it in every film class to send them all screaming for jobs doing manual labor. Because that’s what real Americans do. They eat three egg omelettes seasoned with pepper spray and true grit and then go to work micromanaging foreigners that shouldn’t even be in America anyway. 

Every time they talk about what a patriot Palin is, what a maverick championing the little people she is, they play soaring inspirational music with actual angelic choirs. If it’s not her publicist, who comprises at least 50 percent of the first part of the film, then it’s Andrew Breitbart or Mark Levin, the hedgehog Costanza whose entire dialogue consists of saying, “Palin Reagan Palin Reagan Palin Reagan.” Or, it’s Palin herself, via the audiobook recording of Going Rogue. It gives everything that whole homemade YouTube feel, like a really really really excited superfan. Whenever they explain the attacks against her, they play dire and sinister music, as if Voldemort were actively attempting to Avada Kedavra her. But that’s nothing compared to the visuals.

You know I have used some rather colorful language to describe Sarah Palin, and her career, myself through the years. In fact I am rather well know for that.

But I have to take my hat off to this reviewer, Brian Prisco, for his completely unfiltered, yet joyful, deconstruction of this pathetic mythological propaganda that Steve Bannon and others hoped against hope would serve as Sarah Palin's reintroduction into national politics and then catapult her miraculously into the White House.

As I pointed out when this film first plopped like a steaming turd into movie houses back in July, there was NO way this was going to fool the average American voter into ignoring what they already knew about Sarah Palin and convince them to support her campaign for President, and of course it certainly didn't. Nor did it convince Palin herself to take the risk of opening her life to increased public scrutiny by jumping into the race.

Gee it's great to always be right, isn't it?

However much like its celluloid inspirations, such as Jason Vorhees and Freddie Krueger, this film, while never gaining much traction, has also refused to die its much deserved death.

As those of us who have Netflix are painfully aware, this celluloid still birth is now available for instant streaming so that it can be viewed in the relative comfort of our homes.  I assume with the lights turned off and our hands over our faces, like we would do while watching any OTHER low budget horror movie featuring a frightening, bloodthirsty creature.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! That is soo scary!

They also toned down the cover art a little, making it look more like the "Three Faces of Incompetence" rather than "Ice Station Sarah."

Still unless they completely threw out all of previous footage and replaced it with the John Wayne version of "The Undefeated," I seriously doubt there are more than a handful of people willing to sit through 118 minutes of this poorly filmed tribute to a falsified image of a failed politician.

Even a confirmed masochist would undoubtedly scream his safe word after only about five minutes of viewing this painfully putrid pile of moose poop.