More than 300 women were shot, stabbed, strangled, beaten, bludgeoned or burned to death over the past decade by men in South Carolina, dying at a rate of one every 12 days while the state does little to stem the carnage from domestic abuse.
More than three times as many women have died here at the hands of current or former lovers than the number of Palmetto State soldiers killed in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars combined.
It’s a staggering toll that for more than 15 years has placed South Carolina among the top 10 states nationally in the rate of women killed by men. The state topped the list on three occasions, including this past year, when it posted a murder rate for women that was more than double the national rate.
Awash in guns, saddled with ineffective laws and lacking enough shelters for the battered, South Carolina is a state where the deck is stacked against women trapped in the cycle of abuse, a Post and Courier investigation has found.
Couple this with deep-rooted beliefs about the sanctity of marriage and the place of women in the home, and the vows “till death do us part” take on a sinister tone.
The article goes on to point out that while the rate of domestic violence has tumbled 64% nationwide, that there is little change in South Carolina.
But why?
Interviews with more than 100 victims, counselors, police, prosecutors and judges reveal an ingrained, multi-generational problem in South Carolina, where abusive behavior is passed down from parents to their children. Yet the problem essentially remains a silent epidemic, a private matter that is seldom discussed outside the home until someone is seriously hurt.
“We have the notion that what goes on between a couple is just between the couple and is none of our business,” said 9th Circuit Solicitor Scarlett Wilson, chief prosecutor for Charleston and Berkeley counties. “Where that analysis goes wrong is we have to remember that couple is training their little boy that this is how he treats women and training their little girl that this is what she should expect from her man. The cycle is just perpetual.”
It should also not be terribly surprising that the top ten states where a woman is most likely to be murdered by her significant other are almost exclusively red states. (With the exception of Vermont. What the hell Vermont?)
Personally I would place a lot of blame on fundamentalist religious reliefs that equate women with property, and insist that the man is the head of the household and must be deferred to in all cases.
That kind of thinking simply opens up a Pandora's box of possible abuse scenarios.
I also could not help but to be reminded of a post I did last year, which indicated that one in every two women living in the Mat-Su Valley (Yes that is where Wasilla is located), have been the victim of domestic violence.
Yes there is a war on women, and it is being fought in Washington DC, the boardrooms, and in living rooms all over America. And sadly, for right now, the women appear to be on the losing end.
And that my friends is something that needs to change, and it needs to change now.
It sickens me to have to say I am from SC and I am, unfortunately, intimately aware of what this post claims is true. I can unequivocally state it IS.
ReplyDeleteMy sister married a man none of us in the family could stomach. After several years and three children, I could see she was looking more and more miserable. I discovered why one Christmas evening when the entire family had gathered.
He was sitting not three feet from his can of energy drink (which he guzzled by the case!) and he looked up at my sister and told her to give him his drink. She was on the opposite side of the room. When she didn't move fast enough, he loudly said, "NOW, woman!"
I tapped him on the shoulder after he had been given what he demanded and asked if we could talk outside. As he was closing the door behind him I grabbed him by the shirt collar and spun him around very fast to disorient him and take him by surprise. Slamming him then against the door I held him tightly and told him in no uncertain terms that his WIFE was NOT his SLAVE and that if I even SUSPECTED him of continuing that treatment.... Well, let's just say he wouldn't like the results. I was mad enough he knew I meant exactly what I said.
I am grateful she finally woke up and divorced him - which got him seriously angry and we had to get one of the few restraining orders issued from our area.
And yes, the fool is a Fundie
I support an organization in my town that has a shelter for victims of rape and battered women. I take about half of what I grow in my garden to the shelter and when it isn't growing season, I donate as much money as I can possibly squeeze out of my budget.
I see these women and children and I cry. The children are the most heart rending because they see their mothers and don't understand. It sickens me that I have to say these are the lucky ones.
I desperately wish what I do was not necessary.
I live in New Hampsrhire, but have worked a Vermont for 30 years. In spite of the state being in the forefront of progressive politics and culture in more populated areas, there are a lot of "red state" pockets in the small towns in the interior.
ReplyDeleteVermont often elects Republican governors, and there is currently a serious issue with cheap heroin and rampant alcohol addiction..
The long cold winters and endemic poverty no doubt contribute. That still doesn't explain why Maine and New Hampshire aren't on that list,
so part of this is a mystery
Hillary for POTUS. Women need to know that WE CAN AND WE WILL GOVERN THIS COUNTRY. Empowerment follows example. We have elected only men to the most important office in the world since 1776. That sends a negative message to half of our population in the US. 2016!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gryphen, for continuing to highlight these issues.
ReplyDeleteI am alive!
ReplyDeleteWomen as young girls need to be preparing themselves for a career or a job that can sustain them. Most of them stick with the SOB's because they do not know a way out. Keep those legs crossed and get yourself grounded BEFORE you seek a partner! That is the only way to proceed.
No one told me that but the examples in front of me from my toddler days forward made me know I needed to be able to take care of myself and whatever children I brought into the world.
My ex-husband, now deceased, brought two children from his previous marriage and I raised them plus our own two. When his were grown the battering began - my usefulness over????Unexplainable.
I fled for my life but had a career that took my two sons and myself on to more college degrees.
Dependent women are their own worst enemies. God isn't going to save anyone just because you pray. Read the world news or watch the TV for just an hour and then ask yourself, "Why would a merciful god allow all those innocent people including children to suffer so at the hands of barbarians?"
The message is "don't wait for your god or anyone else." Make your own way with your own skills and always, always have an exit strategy. It takes friends and companions to get you away and free so cultivate and keep a circle of trusted folks about you. I owe much to those who helped me leave.
Anonymous9:38 AM
Delete'''Women as young girls need to be preparing themselves for a career or a job that can sustain them. Most of them stick with the SOB's because they do not know a way out. Keep those legs crossed and get yourself grounded BEFORE you seek a partner! That is the only way to proceed.'''
This is excellent advice. The advice I always give women and girls.
Thanks for keeping this atrocity front and center. We owe it to women and children to keep them safe from that "what goes on behind closed doors isn't spoken about" mentality. The kids DO learn from what they see, and it stays with them until the cycle's broken.
ReplyDelete