Here is video of Sarah Palin's press conference yesterday in Joplin. Bring two forks, as there is plenty of word sausage to go around.

Click authentic faux yellow leather biker old lady jacket to play video.

This is a press conference that Palin did concerning her speech for Lifechoices, an anti-abortion group masquerading as a sex and pregnancy resource center.

Palin pulls out all of the stops here.

First she refers to the "resiliency" of the people, undoubtedly referencing the tornado that devastated the area in 2011, and calls them "overcomers." Which of course makes them sound like habitual masturbators.


Then she goes on:  

"I was happy to be chosen, well invited anyway, because when we talk about less than ideal circumstances, I've been there. I've been there and I'm going to talk about that tonight and speak candidly about it. (Wanna bet?)

Palin then says how happy she is that Lifechoices has asked her to be candid, because most of the time her job is to be political and this time she gets to talk about what is near and dear to her heart. (Wait, she has a job?)

Palin then claims that her family's "hardships" were easier to deal with because of the strong and loving family "network" that is in place. (From what I have heard recently that may be the biggest Palin lie of all.)

She then lists the "hardships" as her own pregnancy, her daughter's"unplanned" pregnancy,  the diagnosis that Trig had Down syndrome when she was twelve weeks pregnant, Track about to be deployed to a war zone, the fact that she was at the time Governor of Alaska, and then of course the call from John McCain to be the vice presidential candidate.

I found it interesting that of all of the "hardships" she rattled off, that really the only one that she did not actually plan was Bristol's pregnancy. All of the others she orchestrated in one way or another.

It is after the last question concerning what she plans to talk about at the fundraiser where some serious word salad gets tossed.

"I'll be able to, even though I'm not going to get political, it's kind of in my blood, I'm going to be able to relate to the tumultuous world that we are in today. People seeking real answers, real hope, they're seeking peace. They're...they're seeking solutions to things that they see and feel that are out of their control. Just like a young mother with that diagnosis you know of being pregnant unexpectedly. A lot of things that she would be feeling too, more centralized of course, more personalized. Being able to, through the experiences that we've gone through, experiences that your clients have gone through, being able to translate that into a bigger picture about what's going on in our world. Less than ideal circumstances how we handle'em. How we can make this world a better place by all of us making healthy choices as individuals, as families, as communities, and then as a nation."

Uhhhhh....WTF?

So if I understand that right, and I have no confidence that I do, Palin is saying that she is going to relate an unexpected pregnancy to a world at war, terrorism making us feel less safe at home, and how we can conquer all of that by following Michelle Obama's advice about making healthy choices?

Is that right?

Is it too early to start drinking?

Well in news that is easier to understand, the Daily Mail, Palin's favorite British newspaper, has posted an article taking note of the fact that she wore her wedding ring to the Roberts fundraiser, after earlier making a big deal over the fact that it was missing, and using that as an excuse to once again talk about the drunken brawl in Anchorage.

So it appears that, though there is little new to report, the brawl lives on in the minds of journalists around the world.

Gotta love that!