Sarah Palin rubs her hands on cold reptilian skin (And touches an alligator too.), while supporting a third party candidate who will ultimately help the Democrat win in Louisiana.

Courtesy of The Time-Picayune:  

Palin attended an event for Senate candidate Rob Maness at Restaurant des Familles in Crown Point. Following the speech, Maness surprised the former Alaska governor with a three-foot gator. (As somebody mentioned earlier, I think perhaps the wrong mouth is taped closed in that picture.)

The visit from the scaly guest -- courtesy of Insta-Gator Ranch in Covington -- was met with zydeco music and a standing ovation from the 100-plus Maness supporters in attendance. (Wow, a hundred people. I wonder how many of them came to support Manness and how many were attracted to the opportunity to see a scaly reptilian monster up close? Oh and a little alligator too.)

"She just laughed about it," Maness said. "She's a warrior for American and a warrior for freedom. I'm honored to get her endorsement, but I'm honored she's prioritized our campaign."

Well he's right about that "warrior" part, that is exactly the Sarah Palin that those party goers in Anchorage witnessed at the beginning of the month. Not exactly convinced that she is a warrior for anything except keeping people from filming her family while they drunkenly attack innocent people however.

Here are a few of the pearls of stupidity that fell from Palin's cavernous maw during this appearance:


"He knows the issues and what Washington, D.C., does to a state like Louisiana," Palin said. "We need a fighter in D.C. that doesn't just go with the flow." (Oops, she's trotting out bon mots from all the way back in 2009. Did someone forget to pay the ghostwriter?)

"Rob has the added challenge of going up against the establishment. The folks in the GOP are in it for a season, not a reason. It's a business for them," Palin said. "Rob is standing up for the average, hardworking American who is saying, 'Enough is enough.' The status quo has got to go."  (Oooh, a rhyme. That's better.)


"Mary (Landrieu) has tried to have it both ways. When you're in the middle of the road, you get hit on both sides," Palin said. (Well somebody certainly got an extra piece of moose sausage for thinking up THAT one!)

"It's the last few weeks that are needed. That's what's going to push us over the finish line. It's the momentum," Palin said.

I think perhaps Palin's ghostwriter might want to look the word "momentum" up for  Crocodile Dumb-dee. It usually does NOT mean stumbling blindly and fading into the background.

You know I was wondering how Maness could could afford to get Palin to come to his little reptilian shindig, and I think it just might be possible that she was comped by the Mary Landrieu campaign.

Because let's face it, having Maness involved in this race does nothing but help the Democrats in the long run. 

(P.S. For the hardy souls among you there is a little video of the appearance here from WWL.)

Today Sarah Palin goes to Louisiana to doom another campaign, and devour reptilian carcasses.

Courtesy of USA Today:  

Sarah Palin is lending her Tea Party star power to Republican Rob Maness, who is running an insurgent campaign in Louisiana’s Senate race against incumbent Democrat Mary Landrieu. 

Republican Rep. Bill Cassidy is the party favorite in the race, but Maness, a retired Air Force officer, says he intends to stay in the race, fueling a familiar establishment vs. Tea Party narrative in GOP races this year.

However as usual this year the Tea Party challenger is struggling to gain momentum in what is now really a two person race. Which has inspired the Maness campaign to run on the power of denial:

...while Maness may have put forward proposals on, for instance, energy and national security, his campaign has also been dogged by stories it is running out of money (Maness disputes them and notes he is still on the trail) and polls that generally show him a distant third behind Mary Landrieu and Bill Cassidy.

Which has really moved the campaign from the merely hopeful to the truly pathetic, as evidenced by the invitation that the Maness campaign handed out concerning today's event: 

The Maness campaign sent an invitation to its #OneOfUs endorsers, key volunteers and some political figures. The campaign is asking those who attend to bring one truly undecided voter. There's no cost to attend.

"While the two Washington politicians are downing out one another in negative, misleading ads, Rob is surging in the polls just by traveling over 80,000 miles in his Ford F-150 to all 64 parishes holding over 43 town halls and listening to every Louisianan he can," the invitation read. "Rob's candidacy is confounding the 'experts' and is going to shock the establishment on Election Day."

Oh yeah, denial.

Which may help to explain while Maness, more than any other Teabagger candidate this elections cycle has clung as tightly to the Palin endorsement.

In fact Maness is so proud of the Grizzled Mama's kiss of death that he has several videos of he and Palin on his campaign website.

Here's just one:

Oh yeah, she should really turn this whole thing around for Manness.

The Washington Post analyzes Sarah Palin's endorsement record this year. Can you say "sucks balls?"

Courtesy of the Washington Post: 

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) was in Kansas on Thursday, helping incumbent Sen. Pat Roberts (R) rally his base in the face of a surprisingly tough reelection fight against independent candidate Greg Orman. The question that immediately came to mind, though, was: Can Palin help? 

There's a conventional wisdom that what Palin brings to a race is grassroots energy, particularly among more conservative voters. In a midterm election that most indicators suggest will see heavier Republican turnout than two years ago, getting Palin to work that magic on Kansas conservatives seems like a winning strategy. 

But is the conventional wisdom correct? Or, more to the point from Roberts' standpoint: Can she deliver a victory?

The Post then goes on to share this graphic which indicates how Palin's endorsements have fared during the last three election cycles.

Ouch!

The Post then goes on to sum up the article like this: 

When Palin's candidates have won, they've won big:  

Sasse and Ernst, for example, each won their primaries by over 25 points. And when her candidates have lost, they've generally lost pretty handily, too. 

Experienced political watchers can read something else into this data point: In races that aren't as close, Palin's endorsement doesn't mean as much. Political endorsements aren't unimportant, but they aren't going to give a candidate a ten-point bump in the final results. Which means that it's hard to judge the influence of Palin, if any, on these races. Or, put another way: Even in the wins, Palin's influence probably didn't play a significant role.

Personally I think it's even worse than the  Washington Post is indicating.

I think that when the candidate is well ahead a Palin endorsement does not either give them a bump or kneecap them. But if it is close, it seems to me that Palin usually provides the final kiss of death.

Which by the way is not particularly good news for the next victim candidate on her list:  

Republican U.S. Senate candidate Rob Maness is getting campaign help this weekend from former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. 

The Maness campaign says Palin will visit a Jefferson Parish restaurant on Saturday to eat alligator with Maness. The event is a nod to a Maness TV ad that compares his campaign against two members of Congress to facing down alligators in a Louisiana swamp.

Wait, Palin is going to devour cold blooded reptiles with Manness? 

Isn't that cannibalism?

Sarah Palin's newest endorsee fake wrestles alligators, loves the 2nd Amendment, dislikes immigrants, and wants to defund Obamacare. Oh yeah, that's a winner.

You know I can add extra tape to an already taped alligator's jaws too. Does that mean that I could run for the Louisiana Senate seat as well?

Here is a bit of Palin's endorsement from her Facebook page:  

Many of us have encouraged the election of more conservative warriors to join the fight in the United States Senate this election cycle. In the Louisiana Senate race we have the opportunity to send a true conservative and a real warrior to join that fight. So, today I am lending my support to retired Col. Rob Maness for U.S. Senate. 

Palin goes on to say that Maness was at the Pentagon on 9-11 and rushed in to help after the attack. (Did he happen to see a plane?)  All of which is admirable by the way.


Rob is a true conservative – opposing amnesty, pledging to protect our Second Amendment rights, and promising to defund Obamacare. As the grandfather of a now healthy 2-year-old baby grandson born at just 28 weeks and 2 lbs., 5 oz., he knows first hand the miracle of life and promises to protect it.

Okay so he does not want to provide a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants, loves guns, hates Obamacare, and is anti-choice. Sounds like a dating profile on the Republican version of eHarmony.

Rob is the admitted underdog in this race. Having spent his career in uniform, he does not have deep pockets or lobbyist connections to fund his campaign. To me, it’s a blessing, not a curse that he’s not held office before. After all, our founders weren’t politicians – many of them in fact were military leaders. Maybe it’s time we got back to those roots! 

Okay so we know he's going to lose, but that's okay because it's a blessing. (Did I read that right?)

And according to Palin not knowing anything about politics is exactly what we need in Washington.

Palin goes on to slam current Senator, and Democrat, Mary Landrieu, and condemn the establishment Republican choice of Bill Cassidy to replace her. About Cassidy she has this to say: 

He voted to raise the debt ceiling, was one of 19 Republicans to vote for President Obama’s hate crimes legislation, campaigned in support of the government bailout (but now opposes it), voted for Obamacare Medicare savings (but now opposes them). Come on, GOP, is this the best we can do?

Actually if they want to beat Senator Landrieu, then the answer to that last question is, yeah. 

Instead Palin chooses the underdog that nobody gives much chance of winning, but who dampens her camouflage granny panties with his uber conservative machismo.

And hey, don't think Maness doesn't appreciate it either.

Courtesy of ABC News:

Maness said that he is “humbled” by Palin’s endorsement, which he said he sought because of her record of public service. 

“I am truly humbled Governor Palin would lend her credibility to a regular guy like me,” Maness said in a statement. ”We are winning this campaign the old-fashioned way — by putting people over politics. I’ve logged 50,000 miles in my Ford F-150 and visited all 64 of Louisiana’s great parishes — this endorsement is just the energy we need to keep trucking!”

Not only is this guy no politician, he is also so naive that he actually thinks that having Sarah Palin endorse him is a good thing.  Hell, he even asked for it!