Sarah Palin 2.0 revealed. Update!

This is what arrived in my inbox along with the photo:

We had a very special guest visit our Scottsdale location! Sarah Palin enjoyed a Luxurious Shampoo Blow out and.

I think we can all agree that Palin looks pretty good in this photo, and significantly better than she has looked in recent appearances.

The question to ask is WHY is she working so hard on her appearance?

Is she getting ready for some new TV appearnaces?

Is she planning on showing up to Donald Trump campaign stops to see if she can get another slice of pizza out of him?

Or is Todd out of the picture and now she is trolling for a new official purse carrier?

Well whatever the reason it is beyond clear that makeover is only skin deep.

Check out Palin's Facebook response to Erick "I have no balls" Erickson's apology:  

Erick Erickson, 

Today a friend forwarded your apology for mocking my family – again – and in answer to your point, yes, I do remember people taking repeated potshots at my family, friends, and supporters (many of whom politely pointed out to you and your staffers that the sleazy photoshopped picture you ran of me was indeed fake, but were dismissed and mocked repeatedly for doing so.) Also, in your summary of our interactions, you forgot to mention things like your public comparison of me to L. Ron Hubbard (and not in a way that would make Tom Cruise proud). Apparently you’ve forgotten your other indiscretions, including elevating your staffer, Mr. Wolf, who has been trashing my daughter and entire family on Twitter for days now. Adult males like y’all are just delightful to work with in that GOP machine. Since your man there appears to be your go-to-guy when you want to diss me or my family, try telling him that your organization’s gleeful perpetuation of your problems involving taking unwarranted shots at various conservatives makes it almost silly to take seriously your after-you’ve-been-busted apologies. But thanks for suggesting one anyway today; it’s accepted. 

And since we’re clearing the air here, you need to make peace with Mr. Trump and Dr. Carson, whom you also delight in besmirching. They are obviously very sharp, successful, courageous men who certainly did not draw first blood in the battles you picked with them. Do it, so we may have a strong, positive, uncensored primary to elect the strongest nominee to assure there is no “third term” for Barack Obama. And just so you know going forward, a mama grizzly is always going to defend her cubs – especially from a Wolf. 

- Sarah Palin 

PS: By the way, Erick, it’s August. Why don’t you chill out while Donald Trump brings 24 million people to watch Republican debates, when these debates are full of talented, well-spoken individuals advocating beautifully for our shared values?

She even posted a photo of a grizzly chasing a wolf to further make the point that Erickson is running with his tail between his legs.

You know you can slather makeup on a serpent all you want, but at the end of the day it is still a venomous little creature who is going to fang you the minute you get too close and drop your guard.

Update: So here is the Twitter account for the RedState staffer that has Palin's panties in  bunch.

And here is one of his most recent tweets:

Alright I'm done with this Palin nonsense. It's been fun but her clan is so small now it doesn't even drive traffic. On to bigger targets.

— Leon Wolf (@LeonHWolf) August 15, 2015

Okay, now THAT is both insightful and funny. 

"Hair school" graduate Willow Palin determined to get mother to stop dressing like a skank. Or something like that.

Recent "hair school" graduate Willow.

Courtesy of the National Enquirer:

Sarah Palins daughter Willow is convinced her mom needs a new image, and she’s now got the training to do it. 

Willow, 18, recently completed a hairdressing program at Penrose Academy in Scottsdale, Ariz. She’s planning on opening her own salon, says a source, and wants Mom to be her first customer. 

“Willow thinks Sarah’s appearance is old and tired. She wants to give her mother a fresh, new hairstyle – something that will make her look younger,” a source revealed. 

“Sarah’s been reluctant to change her look because it’s so identifiable. But Willow is convinced she can win her mom over.”

Yeah I can see why Palin would be resistant to getting a do over, after all who would want to mes with THIS kind of perfection?

Oh God my eyes!

You know perhaps Willow should put a little time in before she tackles something like this. After all doctors usually start off doing small biopsies before they tackle the removal of a thirty pound cancerous tumor.

Perhaps Willow could start with a less needy subject.

Sure go ahead and laugh, but at least HE has more of his own hair to work with than somebody we could mention.

By the way I found this part of the article kind of interesting.

Willow used money she earned for appearing on sister Bristol’s reality show, “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp,” as well as her mother’s TLC reality show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” to pay for beauty school, says the source.

So all of that bragging that the Grizzled Mama did about how HER daughter managed to finish an entire year of hair school without having to go into debt, is kind of undermined by the fact that the only reasons she could have paid her way is by playing herself in reality shows featuring members of her family.

Wow, how "average American" of them!

Sarah Palin takes to Facebook to discourage kids from attending "outrageously expensive traditional colleges." Wow! What a role model!

Palin starts out congratulating Willow for sticking it out for an entire year and "graduating" from "hair school."

Then she launches into this revisionist history of Willow's academic career before she was trundled her off to Arizona to focus on tackling the reams of research and late night studying required to learn how to properly add highlights and wax old lady's eyebrows.

Here is her advice to the youth of this country, straight from her ghostwritten Facebook page:

It’s crucially important today for young people to think about the big picture when making education decisions. And the big picture is the goal of self-reliant business opportunities based on work ethic and not entitlements. One of the reasons I aggressively encouraged vocational training opportunities as governor of Alaska is because they lead to good paying jobs and happy careers. Young people should not be pressured into assuming that a college degree is the only path to employment today. It’s not. Some college degrees obviously lead to clear professions, like those in the medical and engineering fields, but that’s not the case with many of the liberal arts degrees young people today gravitate toward either because they aren’t sure what they want to do after college or because they’ve been led to believe that college life is a sort of rite of passage for any career. That might have been the case once, but the salary and career opportunities a liberal arts education alone can get you have been dramatically limited these days. It’s so sad to see young people holding expensive college diplomas that come with no practical job opportunities. 

Great advice don't you think?

"Hay kids DON'T spend years working hard to achieve your dreams while attending one of those challenging universities! Instead give up and go to hair school. After all what do we really need more of in this country, scientists and educators, or somebody who knows how to frost your tips?

But hey, don't misunderstand! Palin is not telling you NOT to go to college, she is just saying that it is waste of time these days.

Unlike say back when this failed politician, news commentator, and parent got HER degree!

I’m not discouraging a student from getting a liberal arts degree if that is his or her dream. I am always for following your dreams. How could I be against a liberal arts education when I myself got a liberal arts degree in journalism/communications from the University of Idaho? 

Yes it only took going to five different colleges for Palin to get the degree that SHE has never been able to use to start a career! And these days it will cost twenty times as much to fail at achieving YOUR dreams, so why bother?

Here is how her ghostwriter summed it up:

Follow your dreams, (If they're not TOO hard that is!) by all means. But don’t be blind to the fact that your dreams might be achieved outside of acquiring an outrageously expensive traditional college degree. Do not be lulled into thinking that good jobs grow on trees or that the government will somehow take care of you. The bottom line is – as my dad always told me – find out what you love to do, then find out how to make a living doing it. (And if you can't do that, get somebody to do the actual work and just take credit for it!) Learning a trade can do both. No one can take those vo-tech real life skills away from you. They lead to independence, satisfaction, and a paycheck. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Yeah because if you waste all of that time in school you still might end up being such a loser, that even though you supposedly have a degree in communication, you STILL have to pay somebody to write your Facebook and Twitter posts. And you certainly don't want to grow up to be THAT pathetic now do you kids?

National Enquirer claims Bristol Palin finally wants to do something important with her life. Nah, just kidding, she wants to cut hair for a living. Update!

"My dream is to use my cosmetology skills make EVERYBODY just as gorgeous as I am!"

Interesting information courtesy of Celebdirtylaundry:

The National Enquirer print edition reports: “Bristol wants to go to cosmetology school. She plans to find a school near her home in Arizona so she can get away from the Alaskan winter. After graduating next year, she wants to look for jobs in the movie industry. Bristol’s realizing her bout of fame and big-money offers in Hollywood is dwindling since mother isn’t in the spotlight as much, so she needs a backup plan.” 

Is it just me, or is anybody else hearing Frankie Avalon's "Beauty School Drop Out" playing in their heads right now?

Beauty school dropout, 

No graduation day for you. 

Beauty school dropout, 

Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo! 

Well at least you could have taken time, to wash and clean your clothes up, 

After spending all that dough to have the doctor fix your nose up! 

Baby get moving (Baby get movin), 

Why keep your feeble hopes alive? 

What are you proving (What are you provin)? 

You've got the dream but not the drive. 

If you go for your diploma, you could join a steno pool. 

Turn in your teasin comb and go back to high school! 

Beauty school dropout (Beauty school dropout), 

Hanging around the corner store. 

Beauty school dropout (Beauty school dropout), 

It's about time you knew the score. 

Well they couldn't teach you anything, 

You think you're such a looker, 

But no customer would go to you unless she was a hooker! 

Baby don't sweat it (Don't sweat it), 

You're not cut out to hold a job. 

Better forget it (Forget it), 

Who wants their hair done by a slob? 

So if this is true, and I don't have any independent confirmation yet, then that must mean that Bristol's reality show is dead in the water. Color me surprised.

Well I guess if Bristol cannot BE one of the rich and famous, she can at least wash the hair of the rich and famous. You know, if they came up to Wasilla, Alaska that is.

Hey, I wonder if this means she will start working at the Beehive Beauty Shop? Then she could wax people's taint, AND get to be on television!

That is of course if the rumors of Big Hair Alaska's demise turn out to be false don'tcha know.

You know the problem with hitching your future to the meteoric rise of a crazy person, which half of the planet already despises, is that when they fizzle out and slam back into the earth, they leave nothing but devastation and a giant crater to remember them by.  And everything that was sucked along in their wake is now so damaged that it is virtually unrecognizable.

Sadly for Bristol, and of course little Tripp, she is exhibit "A."

Update: Here is the actual NE article. It looks like Bristol might be a little more ambitious than we previously believed:

BRISTOL PALIN’s Hollywood dreams are fading but she’s determined to make it big on the other side of the camera — as a Hollywood hairdresser. 

Sources say the 21-year-old former “Dancing with the Stars” contestant plans to attend cosmetology school so she can do hair and makeup on movie sets! 

And as for her reality show with the Massey's?

Bristol recently filmed a reality show with former Disney stars KYLE and CHRISTOPHER MASSEY for the BIO channel, but sources say it may be scrapped. She realized quickly she needed to explore other options. 

“Her biggest priority is getting a job that is flexible, where she can make plenty of money but not be too tied down since she’s a single mother,” added the source. “Cosmetology work is perfect because she’ll have some control over her schedule.”

There is a fledgling film industry sprouting up here, but it is having some serious growing pains right now (My daughter is currently unemployed after months of back to back work available.). But even if it takes off one has to wonder if ANY reputable movie company would hire Bristol Palin to do hair and makeup on their performers?

Unless of course she is planning to move to Hollywood full time, but then that second question still applies.