Friday, August 19, 2016

Flood of "biblical proportions" destroys home of president of anti-gay Christian group. Really the jokes just write themselves.

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

Tony Perkins, president of the anti-gay Christian group Family Research Council, revealed this week that his home and been destroyed in a flood “of near biblical proportions.” 

During a Monday broadcast on Family Research Council radio, Perkins called in from Louisiana to explain that he and his family had escaped his flooded home in a canoe. 

“This is a flood, I would have to say, of near biblical proportions,” the Christian lobbyist announced. 

Perkins said that he and his family were new living off of “God’s provisions,” and had relocated to their RV, which had been spared.

Seriously? Noah gets an entire ark, and Perkins has to make due with a shitty little canoe?

Hardly seems fair.

You know the thing about this that is so irritating is that you KNOW if the Louisiana headquarters for LGBT rights was washed away in a flood that every half baked Christian televangelist in the country would be thrusting their Bibles into the air and declaring that this was proof positive that God wanted to stamp out homosexuality in the world.

But if the house belonging to one of the foremost anti-gay crusaders gets washed away in the flood, the response is "Well shit happens sometimes."

I swear if every religious leader in the country suddenly woke up with leprosy tomorrow they would call it a coincidence and turn the anti-gay rhetoric up to eleven.


  1. Anonymous4:46 AM

    Relocated to their RV, huh? Cry me a river.

    1. Anonymous5:21 AM

      Just don't let that river go anywhere near Louisiana for a while.

  2. Anonymous4:47 AM

    This makes one wonder when God will plan for Sarah Palin to reap what she sows in biblical proportions.

    I know that Sarah Palin, infamous sportscaster-ask Glen Rice, is now sportscasting for the Rio Olympics. Where would USA be without her stories? She and her new boy toy will love Michael Moore's latest. I can't wait until the relevant Palins write about Moore or do another failure of a poster.

    Did they ever apologize for confusing his deceased uncle's story of being killed by a sniper? Oops, no apologies when they make enormous mistakes. Most of all when they indicate it is time for some other gun nut to kill someone they don't understand or like.

    Is Trump purposely sabotaging his campaign? By Michael Moore

  3. You know . . . he might be right . . . sort of. A flood of 'Biblical Proportions' which is in reality confined to a small part of our globe. What we have here is an example of Bible Math! Maybe Noah's flood was localized and his ark was just another canoe which saved his family and a house pet or two . . . and yet when confronted with the Biblical Math of later generations, the flood grew to a world-wide catastrophe and the canoe grew in proportion. Biblical Math, the answer for any doubters!

    1. Anonymous3:51 PM

      And the 40 days was really only a day or two.

      I think Biblical Math is more like Biblical Exageration.

      How else could Noah live 600 years or whatever.

  4. Anonymous5:21 AM

    'Morning, Gryph. This Perkins guy who spews hate irritates me to no end too. The irony here is noted. But here comes the BUT... While I love Raw Story, HuffPo and IM, I'd hate to see us stoop-low-as-haters and all pile-on to mock his plight and make jokes (even if they do write themselves). Loss of one's home, loss of life, and tragedies befalling children...those are the limits for me.
    1. Throttle to idle power.
    2. Hands off the stick.
    3. Full, opposite rudder.

    1. Anonymous5:36 AM

      There's a difference between mocking his plight and mocking his hypocrisy.

    2. Anonymous5:51 AM

      Anon536, the difference is noted, and I agree, his hypocrisy is fair game.

    3. Anonymous6:14 AM

      I'd like to hear from him what he's doing, with his Christian charity, to help out the 39,999 other people who've been flooded out of their homes. Running off to his RV is not in the spirit of the New Testament.

    4. Anonymous7:37 AM

      How many other homeless victims has Tony Perkins been feeding and sheltering in his RV?

  5. Anonymous5:25 AM

    How long, in cubits, was this canoe?

  6. Anonymous5:27 AM

    Slightly O/T -- and maybe this has been covered here before:
    Trump and the Republican platform both call for a repeal of what they call The Johnson Amendment, a 1954 rule (helped along by Lyndon Johnson when he was Senate Majority Leader) that prohibits 501 (c) 3 entities from actively supporting a candidate or political position.

    This means that churches (and synagogues, mosques) cannot claim tax-exempt status and also promote political positions from the pulpit.

    Evangelicals, looking forward to the day when we're a legally Christian nation, want this law rescinded, claiming falsely that it violates the First Amendment. They should have freedom of speech.

    Of course, they still will always have freedom of speech -- they just can't do it with the government's support by virtue of not having to pay taxes on their buildings, income,
    etc. It's called the separation of church and state, which is also enshrined in the First Amendment.

    Preach away, preacher. Just don't skate along with also not paying taxes, making me and others who don't follow your beliefs take up the slack.

    Pay your taxes and our deficit will shrink.

    1. Anonymous4:00 PM

      But it's NEVER ENFORCED.

      If it were, our deficit would be reduced by having just about every church lose it's tax exempt status, especially the Fundie, Mega and Catholic churches. But plenty of Southern Baptist too.

      Evangelicals have freedom of speech. They simply don't have freedom from paying for it in taxes like everyone else. That is the price you pay for that freedom. No free rides. If they want to preach politics they can give up their tax-free status.

  7. Anonymous5:42 AM

    And they will just claim it is the start of the End Times

  8. Randall6:05 AM

    I think it should be obvious to every true-blue God-fearin' Xtian: Tony's been suckin DICK!
    Can't deny it any more, Tony. You like the butt-stuff deep-down (see what I did there?), might as well admit it: God nose.

  9. Anonymous6:07 AM


    headlines for today:

    EXPOSED: Advisers’ Covert Pro-Russian Campaign Detailed In Emails...
    Breach Of Federal Law... Feds Eye Manafort’s Dealings With Kremlin Allies... Associate Believed To Have Ties To Russian Intelligence... Ukrainian Lawmaker Offers More Details In New Documents... ‘Manafort Didn’t Work For Free’...

    Hopefully the FACTS will rule the day and finally sink Trump's leaking ship of a campaign (and any chance of a tv show afterwards too) - he only wants money and fame - fingers crossed he only gets the BAD fame of being a traitor to our country and loose as much money as possible as pay back and his "brand" gets ruined once and for all

    1. Anonymous7:37 AM

  10. Dinty6:23 AM

    In other ironic news:

    1. Anonymous4:04 PM

      Gawker soon to be shut down by new owners Univision.

      Bankrupt due to loss and judgement to Hulk Hogan lawsuit financed by Paypal CEO.

  11. Anonymous7:25 AM

    In Perkins' fundamentalist fear-mongering world, the loss of his home isn't ironic; it's a perfect example of his message. Expect his flock to be more nervous than ever.

    His message: God punishes gays with eternal hell; he punishes America for allowing 'the gay' with floods and all manner of destruction.

  12. Anonymous7:41 AM

    So if he's right about natural (climate change) disasters being God's punishment of gays, he must be gay, or God would have spared his house.

    1. Anonymous8:10 AM

      He doesn't say natural disasters are to punish gays. In his view, America is supposed to punish gays. So, the natural disasters are God punishing America for not punishing gays.

    2. Anonymous4:06 PM

      So this natural disaster is God punished him for punishing gays.

      Can't have it both ways.

  13. Anonymous7:50 AM

    Manafort just resigned. Lock him up!!

  14. Anonymous7:53 AM

    Wasn't Tony (Anthony) Perkins, the actor, gay? Coincidence can define irony.

  15. Anonymous9:18 AM

    My granny would have called it 'just desserts'. I call it KARMA.

  16. Anonymous9:27 AM

    I have zero sympathy for this jerk! Karma in action once again!

  17. Anonymous9:52 AM

    Perkins said that he and his family were new (sic) living off of “God’s provisions,” and had relocated to their RV, which had been spared.

    So God provided his canoe and RV to spare such a good Christian family. Of the 40,000 homes flooded, presumably there were more than a few "good Christians" - hopefully God had a huge stash of canoes and RV's for them. Also, hopefully He didn't make a mistake and provide some similar means of escape for any homosexuals and/or non-Christian sinners among the 40,000.

  18. Anonymous3:46 PM

    I guess God hates Anti-Gay Fundamentalist Christian Pricks.

  19. Anonymous3:54 PM

    Instead of being grateful he has an rv and a canoe, he makes it a God vs him thing. Did this "Flood of Biblical Proportions" just strike his humble abode?
    I can commiserate, I got caught in a rainstorm, and forgot my umbrella once.

  20. Anonymous4:46 PM

    Again, with the shit for brains mentality. We need to start listening to the scientist and know that our planet's glacier and ice is melting and soon it will be an everlasting ocean. No one listens. No one cares. We just make up shit as we go along. No wonder everyone tolerates Trump. He makes up crap and everyone is so use to this way of doing things, (called head up one's ass) that we just shrug and move along. I just watched Titanic, and that part where Rose's fiance says "only the better half" will survive, that's what it comes down to. It we flood out, the Gates, the Trumps, the Putins, and whoever is over the billion mark, will be at the top. We will be in steerage. That's why they don't care. Oh, I take that back, Trump may be down here with us. We haven't seen his tax report yet. Why is that by the way?


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