Here's a shocker, recent study shows that purity pledges do not work. Or at least not for long.

Courtesy of Salon:  

Great/horrible news for proponents of comprehensive sex education: virginity pledges don’t work, according to science. That is, they don’t work unless signers are truly and deeply religious, in which case abstinence pledges are likely to delay sexual activity a few years — but usually not until marriage. A recent study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies has found that the efficacy of virginity pledges is not only associated directly with signers’ religiosity, but also poses serious risks to young adults who go back on their word. 

To evaluate what role religious commitment played in young adults’ adherence to virginity pledges, researchers polled 1,380 college students aged 18-24 who attended a “large, public, Southeastern state university,” asking participants whether they had previously signed a virginity pledge, their virginity status and how many past or present intercourse and oral sex partners they had. Researchers also asked students to rate their religious commitment, based on how religion or spirituality influence their daily lives, how often they seek spiritual comfort and how frequently they participate in religious events. 

More than a quarter of respondents had previously made a virginity agreement, either in writing or verbally, which is consistent with national averages; according to a 2008 study of pledge signers, 23.8 percent of adolescents aged 12-17 had agreed to remain abstinent. A majority of signers, however, were — wait for it — no longer virgins at the time of the study. 65 percent of respondents who had signed a virginity pledge reported having had sexual intercourse, and a whopping 77 percent of signers had engaged in oral sex. 

For the most part, though, those who were having oral sex or full-on coitus were also the people with lower rates of religious commitment, indicating that sincere religious belief does play a role in a person’s dedication to remaining abstinent. The researchers differentiated between “religious commitment” and “religious participation” to control for those who might have been immersed in a spiritual lifestyle without being true believers themselves; sure enough, people who were solely “religious participants” exhibited more sexual behavior than committed believers.

Okay that last part might be true, or it might simply be that those who self identify as "religiously committed" are more likely to lie about their sexual activities.

Ya think?

In my experience the girls that were the most religious and goody two shoes were the ones that went the wildest in college. That is unless the college they attended was also super religious and oppressive and they continued to be browbeaten into submission until they graduated and THEN they went wild.

In my opinion losing your virginity should not have such a stigma attached to it, because then what happens is that the focus on its importance almost invariably makes the first time full of stress and more often than not incredibly disappointing.

Yes there are great love stories out in the world concerning high school sweethearts who waited to get married, were each others first and only, and who have marriages that have endured the test of time.

However those stories are few and far between these days.

Teaching young ladies that sexuality is perfectly normal, and that taking precautions to prevent disease and unwanted pregnancy, while choosing their partners wisely seems to me the best approach.

But then again I also do not believe I will burn in the eternal fires of hell for thinking impure thoughts or for coveting my neighbor's wife, so perhaps my perspective is little skewed from that of somebody who thinks that fumbling around with an inexperienced girl to take her virginity is a "gift."

Now hot sweaty, clothes rending, wild monkey sex with an experienced woman? Now THAT'S a gift.

New book about Purity Balls attempts to defend and legitimize the practice. Yeah, good luck with that.

So the book by David Magnusson, called simply "Purity" contains photographs of fathers standing with their daughters in the kind of poses that would make the hair on Chris Hansen's stand straight up, and an explanation from the author about why our perceptions are all wrong.

Here is a taste: 

“When I first heard about the Purity Balls I imagined American fathers terrified of anything that might hurt their daughters or their families honor. But as I learnt more, I understood that the fathers, like all parents, simply wanted to protect the ones that they love – in the best way they know how. It was also often the girls themselves that had taken the initiative to attend the balls. They had made their decisions out of their own conviction and faith, in many cases with fathers who didn’t know what a Purity Ball was before first being invited by their daughters. 

The more I learned, the more I was surprised that I had been so quick to judge people I knew so little about. I was struck by the idea that what set us apart wasn’t anything more than how we had been influenced by the culture we grew up in and the values it had instilled in us. In Purity I wanted to create portraits so beautiful that the girls and their fathers could be proud of the pictures in the same way they are proud of their decisions – while someone from a different background might see an entirely different story in the very same photographs. 

To me, Purity is about how we are shaped by the society in which we grow up and how we interpret the world through the values we incorporate as our own.”

Uh huh. Well I guess you can blame my background but I am not picking up anything sweet, or nurturing from the photos.

And what I am picking up is more about obsessive control and an unnatural interest in a young girl's sexuality. Must be my background.

(H/T to The Godless Place.)

Purity Balls part deux.

 Courtesy of the You Tube page:

Witness smaller and bigger girls swear allegiance to their dads. Fundamentalist Christians convince daughters to avoid all contact with boys until they're married. By going on a date to a ball and exchanging vows and a ring, the girls promise to abstain completely from any and all interaction with the opposite sex. 

"It's the right thing to do, and the Lord wants us to do it." Says the clearly brain washed young lady.

The video up above is from 2007. At that time this was a phenomena that was fairly isolated.

But as we learned in Friday's post these balls now takes place in 48 of the 50 states.

In other words this kind of creepy incestuously tinged religious control is being leveraged against young girls all over the country.

All in the name of Christianity, and ancient superstitions about the value, and bargaining power, of virginity.

Remember in ancient times a "soiled" young woman, who had allowed her virtue to be stolen away, was worth nothing to the father seeking to use her as a bargaining chip to gain access to wealth and position.

While the young man was encouraged to sow his wild oats and bed as many wenches as he could, the woman was expected to remain chaste until given, like a prized farm animal, to her future husband. Who would then treat her as his possession for the remainder of her life.

Such is the value of "virtue" in ancient times.

But what's the excuse for this continued overreach by a modern day father into his daughter's potential love life? 

P.S. By the way according to this (5:35) 82% of these young ladies will break their vow of chastity before marriage.

Just imagine the kind of emotional pain that must cause them. To feel they have failed their church, their God, and their Daddies.

Purity balls, where young girls "gift" their virginity to their fathers until marriage. Just as creepy as it sounds.

Courtesy of the Daily Mail:

Purity balls, in which a girl pledges to remain ‘pure’ until her wedding day, symbolically ‘marries’ God, and promises her father that she will remain a virgin until she's a wife, have become a phenomenon in America, now taking place in 48 out of the 50 states. 

The balls resemble giant wedding ceremonies, with the girls - all around the age of 12 - wearing white gowns and dancing with their fathers who promise to ‘protect’ their daughter’s chastity. 

During the ceremony, fathers present their daughters with purity rings, which they wear to symbolise their commitment to virginity. 

In the movement purity means no sexual contact of any kind, including kisses, until after marriage. 

One of the largest father-faughter purity balls - which is the subject of a Nightline Prime investigation - has been held for 14 consecutive years in Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs. The event sees upwards of 60 fathers pledging to ‘protect their daughter’s choices for purity'. 

Fathers taking part are expected to sign a ‘purity covenant’ in which they, as ‘High Priest of their home and family’ pledge ‘before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity.’ 

The daughters silently commit to live pure lives before God through the symbol of laying down a white rose at the cross, before engaging in a wedding-type dance with their father. 

 "You're married to the Lord, and your father is your boyfriend." Holy crap that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. 

This idea of virginity being some sacred entity which must be protected at all cost, and that the loss of it stains a woman's virtue beyond repair, is based on primitive concepts and has no real value in this day and age.

As a father we should be prepared to defend our daughters against ne'er do wells, give them good advice about sex, and comfort when their hearts get broken, but we should NOT be constantly involved in their sex life of dictating when and with whom that can begin.

So creepy!

"Daddy I Do." Perhaps the creepiest trailer for a video that I have EVER seen!

Apparently this trailer is from 2009, bit this is the first time I have stumbled across it.

And here is the site where you can buy the video. It actually says "intended for home use only."

As if I was not disturbed by this enough, my daughter happened by while I was watching it, and told me that this kind of thing was done by EVERYBODY in the Fundamentalist church in Georgia that she used to attend.

In fact, unbeknownst to me, she was encouraged to approach me about participating in the ritual with her. She flat out told them that her father would NEVER go along with this kind of thing and that THEY would be very sorry if she mentioned it to me.

Smart girl.

I cannot begin to tell you how many red flags start waving for me when I see this. Fathers can love their daughters and hope that they have healthy relationships and that once they get married it is a union which stands the test of time.

But THIS is simply too much of an intrusion into a young woman's sex life, and that is not a place for a father to have such a prurient interest.

By the way there IS a work around to circumvent this kind of an abstinence only approach to youthful relationships. I am sure many of you already know it, but if not these two comedians will gladly explain it for you.