NBC cancels Mark Burnett's Christian propaganda.

Courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter:  

NBC has decided not to continue A.D. The Bible Continues. 

The series opened to high expectations but was not an out-of-the-box ratings hit like History Channel's record-setting The Bible. From producers Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, the Universal Television drama is a rare miss for the mega-producers, and came in a season in which religious-themed fare, including CBS' Dovemakers mini, failed to lure live viewers. 

Let's face it, the viewing public is just not that into Jesus anymore.

Besides there is some rather impressive competition.

For instance there have been two recent Hercules movies, one starring The Rock, and he's a half god as well.

And then of course there is Thor who is not only a full on god, but also a member of the Avengers whose second movie broke all kinds of box office records.

I mean let's face it if, for your modernized versions of ancient mythologies, you had to choose between this..

...and this. Which would you choose?

After all we are now living in the 21st century, so if we are going to be confronted by primitive religious beliefs they should at least have a "wow factor."

Sarah Palin pimps Mark Burnett's sequel to his television series on the Bible. Suggests that it is as important as "American Sniper."

Courtesy of Mary Mangled Words Facebook page:

Can there be an even bigger reason to watch The Voice than to get to see Blake Shelton?  (Yeah, Christina Aguilera. Duh!) Well tonight there is. Jesus is coming to NBC! Thank you Roma Downey and Mark Burnett for your faith and your boldness. Much like Clint Eastwood sharing his talent with the world in making one of the best, most important films of our time, "American Sniper," so many of us appreciate these artists who jump off the political correct bandwagon to just do the right thing. (And boy aren't the similiarities between a man who preached love and forgiveness and a man who shot men, women, and children to death from a great distance almost impossible to miss?) They bless us when they allow good to work through them!

So apparently Jesus is now getting his own reality show. With about as much "reality" as the "Jersey Shore" and "Sarah Palin's Alaska."

As far as I can tell Palin is talking about some crossover promotion for Burnett's re-imagining of the death and resurrection of Christ on the The Voice tonight, but I cannot find any mention of it anywhere else as of yet.

However I did find this rather interesting video where Mark Burnett calls his effort "Game of Thrones meets the Bible."

It is probably worth pointing out that this is NOT history, and should not be advertised as such.

It should also be noted that the first part of this series only received a rating of 13% on Rotten Tomatoes and the critics were devastating.

One critic had this to say:

Much of this is tediously drawn out, with crazy fly-overs between Biblical Chapters that may make you think it’s “Survivor: Holy Lands,” which, of course, it is.

So whether you believe the story or not, I think comparing it to the record breaking appeal of the HBO series "Game of Thrones" is going to leave a lot of viewers very disappointed.

I also find it interesting that we are again seeing Palin attempting to curry favor with one of those Hollywood elite types. Kind of makes me wonder if she is not angling for a show that is NOT relegated to the darkest corners of cable.

Could be.

Sarah Palin shoots down offer for new talk show? Or is this just another lame attempt to get people to talk about her again?

"I'm ready for my closeup Mr. DeMille."

Courtesy of News Max:  

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has been offered a major syndicated TV talk show by reality show producer Mark Burnett but turned down the deal, Newsmax has learned. 

One of country’s sought after speakers on the political circuit, Palin, Burnett believed, could be turned into the next Oprah. He offered to produce a daytime TV talk show hosted by the conservative icon herself. 

But so far, Palin has said no — though the deal is not completely dead, say insiders. 

The sticking points have been over location and money, people familiar with the deal say. Burnett has insisted that Palin do the show from either New York or Los Angeles, which would require her to move for a significant portion of the year from her residence in Alaska where she lives with husband Todd. 

Palin has a distaste for cultural elites in the Big Apple and LA, one person familiar with the discussions said. 

Another top Hollywood studio executive tells Newsmax that Palin was ultimately willing to move to either city, but “she passed over money.” 

“I don’t think she closed the door,” he added. 

Asked to comment about the offer, Palin told Newsmax via email: 

"Todd and I have always loved working with Mark Burnett, and our family is always up for adventure, so never say never." Burnett’s office declined to comment on the matter. 

The idea of Sarah Palin interviewing people in  talk show format is fairly humorous since the last time she attempted something similar at Fox it was such an embarrassing failure that it resulted in the airing of only one show.

As for the excuse that Palin does not want to move to out of Alaska, that is total mooseshit, because as we know she has already effectively moved to Arizona.

If this is in fact a real thing, and there is at this moment not much reason to believe that it is (News max? Really?), then the obstacles to it going forward would be about money and how much work Plain would have to do on the show.

Remember this is a woman who has spent her whole life trying to get the most amount of money for the least amount of work. So if anything is stopping her from signing on to this deal, it is certainly that and NOT due to the location of the production.

The other thing to keep in mind is that there are persistent sightings of Bristol and Melissa Rivers that keep cropping up. So that makes me think that Palin may have other irons in the fire and that THIS might be a red herring that is being used as a bargaining chip for ANOTHER deal she is negotiating someplace else.

Remember with the Palins NOTHING is ever as it seems.

David Letterman nails it!

Totally true.

Hell I am pretty sure that Dick Cheney has him on speed dial.

The History Channel's mini-series, "The Bible," has a Satan that the Right Wing undoubtedly accepts as "Change we can believe in." Update!

Satan from the History channel's mini-series "The Bible."

Now look unlike a certain ex-quitter from Alaska, I actually DO believe in coincidences and think they happen all of the time.

However....

...this one is a little hard to swallow.

I mean even somebody as disconnected from reality as Glen Beck, was able to put two and two together. (I assume he used a calculator.)

Anyone else think the Devil in #TheBible Sunday on HIstory Channel looks exactly like That Guy? twitter.com/glennbeck/stat…
— Glenn Beck (@glennbeck) March 17, 2013

Yeah, when even the mentally challenged paste eaters in the corner pick up on it, then you know it is not just an accident.

After all Mark Burnett is the uber-Christian producer of numerous reality shows, including the one starring the aforementioned half term Governor.

And it is kind of hard to think "coincidence" when this is how he described the series even before it was broadcast:  

"The Bible is the foundation of this nation, of our laws, of our society," Burnett said. "There wouldn't have been the Declaration of Independence. President Obama swore his allegiance to all of us not on one Bible, on Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Bible and Abraham Lincoln's bible last month. It's on our money: 'In God We Trust.'"

Hmm, interesting how he was already a little focused on our President, don't you think?

Of course since this whole thing blew up yesterday, the denials have already started:  

Mark Burnett and Roma Burnett said Monday the Moroccan actor who played Satan in the History channel series, Mehdi Ouzaani, has played Satanic characters in other Biblical programs long before Obama was elected president. (No he hasn't.)

History said in a statement that the network has “the highest respect” for Obama, and that “it’s unfortunate that anyone made this false connection.” 

“Both Mark and I have nothing but respect and love our president, who is a fellow Christian,” said Downey, the “Touched By an Angel” actress who is married to Burnett. “False statements such as these are just designed as a foolish distraction to try and discredit the beauty of the story of the Bible.”

Uh huh. Well hell if you can't believe an angel then who can your believe, right?

But let's, for the moment, put aside the idea that Mark Burnett purposefully used his program to equate the President of the United States, with Satan, and move on to another question.

Such as why, if indeed Burnett was trying to make a film worthy to be shown on a channel called "The History Channel," did he make his Jesus look like this?

When scientists agree that, if he existed at all, he should look more like this?

I mean doesn't it bother anybody else that the devil is portrayed as a black man, while Jesus is portrayed by an actor who looks like he could be cast as an Aryan Gestapo agent in a film about Nazi Germany?

But hey, I am sure THAT does not make Mark Burnett, his angelic wife, or the History Channel racist either.

Right?

Update: Here is Mehdi Ouzaani, the actor who plays Satan, before his makeup.

 Yeah, I think that pretty much drives the point home.

Who would think that Bible stories belong on the History channel? Oh yeah, what was I thinking?

This Sunday, tune in to @history at 8/7c for the premiere of @bibleseries - produced by my friends @markburnetttv & @realromadowney!
— Sarah Palin (@SarahPalinUSA) March 2, 2013

You know personally this drives me crazy.

The historical accuracy of the Bible has been debunked time and time again, (Though you would hardly know it since Christians have flooded the internet with articles that claim quite the opposite) and yet the History channel is now using it as a textbook.

Look I have no problem with people worshiping in church, or believing in whatever the hell they want to believe in. But when you try to shove that religion down our throats as science in the classroom, and now history on our television sets, THAT is stepping over a line which should open up the religion to scientific and historical scrutiny from scholars who I would think now feel obligated to separate truth from fiction.

And as most of us know THAT is something that the Bible simply cannot endure.

After all who would chose mythology over reality?

Or fantasy over truth?

Gee it seems that there is somebody, if only I could remember who is famous for that very thing.

Oh well, I'm sure it will come to me.

What do you do when you just can't wrestle one of your road kill inspired wigs into submission long enough to staple it to your head? Well you phone it in of course! Right Sarah?

"Oooh ouch! This thing on my head bit me!"

Apparently Palin has become so irrelevant that she now has to be interviewed by one of the Megyn Kelly blonde clones that Fox has such an overabundance of around the studios.

However Palin does not consider this low rent bimbo worthy enough to go through all of the trouble to try and hide her herpes sores and put on one of her Bozo the Clown wigs, so "suddenly" the very expensive TV studio Fox News built for Snowdrift Snooki goes on the blink.

If you can force yourself to listen until the 5:30 mark, THAT is when Palin gushes like a horny little school girl about Tim Tebow.

However even though Palin is beyond irrelevant to much of America she still has enough juice to convince producer Mark Burnett to provide cover for her, by announcing that he is too thinking about putting her back on television:

Last week, reports surfaced that TLC and other networks balked at a new $1 million-per-episode spin-off series featuring Palin’s husband on the professional snowmobiling circuit. 

“That is totally inaccurate,” Burnett insists. “In fact, the idea around snowmobiling was to be part of an episode in ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’ — not a series.” 

“Sarah Palin’s Alaska” premiered in November 2010 to more than 5 million viewers. “It was the number one premiere ever on TLC,” Burnett notes. 

That may be, but of course that was back when people still were fooled into believing this bizarre person might actually make a run for the White House, 

But now....what's that wonderful quote again?


“I think it is safe to say her time has passed,” a network source told the Hollywood Reporter.

That's the one!

Look the woman cannot even get herself together for a simple Fox News interview, and we have been watching her deteriorate for months now, does anybody really think she can apply enough Spackle, tubs of lip gloss, and fright wigs to make herself presentable for an entire season of SPA part deux?

Yeah, me either.