Texas Republican lawmaker believes that America needs to send Chuck Norris to deal with ISIS, because apparently he believes everything he sees on TV.

Rep. Blake Farenthold

Courtesy of Raw Story:  

Rep. Blake Farenthold’s (R-TX) interview with conservative broadcaster Newsmax veered from a discussion of military force against the Islamic State (ISIS) extremist group to discussing sending actor Chuck Norris after them, Right Wing Watch reported. 

“I’m no fan of President [Barack] Obama’s, but he was elected president — that makes him commander-in-chief, so we need to give him full authority to do what he does,” Farenthold told host Ed Berliner, before adding, “Quite frankly, Chuck Norris would be the one to send in, not President Obama.”

Look I am the first one to admit that in his day Chuck Norris was a great martial artist in the 1960's.

The 1960's!

However that was five decades ago. After that Chuck was a really bad actor, who relied on well trained stuntmen and camera angles to make him appear to be a bad ass.

Today Norris is an elderly Bible thumper, who believes that Christianity should be taught in public schools, and that nobody can tell he is wearing a toupee.

This is Chuck Norris today. He could not fight off an 80 year old grandmother, much less a terrorist organization who would dearly love to take him prisoner and execute him on camera for all of America to see.

My question is why does Blake Farenthold, who looks like the adult version of that kid who got stuck in the tube in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, hate Chuck Norris so much?

I mean the old guy is in his mid 70's now. Even stubbing his toe makes him pee a little, why would somebody want to send him to get his ass kicked, and then set on fire, in a foreign country just to embarrass the President?

Seems like a dick to me.

Who Would Jesus Choke Out? Some churches are now using MMA fights as a way to spread the gospel.

Courtesy of Crooks and Liars:  

“The whole reason we’re having the fights [at the church] is so we can bring people in and tell them about God,” one fighter says. “The hope is that through the fight I can create a relationship with the person I’m fighting and extend Christ to him.”

You know you might think that a loving god would allow you to win the fight WITHOUT getting kneed in the groin first.

I'm just saying.

You know I am no expert on religion, but exactly HOW is pounding somebody's face in helping them to understand the teachings of Jesus? I totally missed that passage in the New Testament.

But hey if you are not horrified enough, then you will be when you learn that the pastor in the video, one Paul Burress, is also accused of trying to convince church members to swing with him and his wife.

This is from a letter sent to Victory Church leadership from a former member: 

In 2009, I was at Paul Burress’s house, where I was asked to perform a back-rub on Jill Burress, who had removed her shirt and bra. Paul made sure that my hand made contact with the side of a breast by moving it there with his own hand. Paul also made sure that I touched her bare bottom. This happened on 2 occasions that year. Also in 2009, Paul showed me fully nude photos of his wife, and also showed me a pornographic video of him having sex with his wife. This occurred on several occasions that year. I was a single, 21 year-old at the time. 

Damn, mixed martial arts, sex, and pornography. Boy church sure has changed from the days when I was attending.

The Right Wing's dream presidential candidate.

And yes he did actually say this.

He claims he was joking, but let's face it if he could get away with something like this he would.

By the way, just for the record, Bruce Lee was a much superior martial artist. In fact Chuck was one of his students.

Not only that but Lee was an Atheist, a philosopher, and pretty damn liberal.

 In other words the exact opposite of old "Hobbling around in a Walker Texas Ranger" up there.

The effects of bullying can last a lifetime.

Courtesy of NPR:  

What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? Well, not when it comes to bullying. 

Some may still consider bullying a harmless part of growing up, but mounting evidence suggests that the adverse effects of being bullied aren't something kids can just shake off. The psychological and physical tolls, like anxiety and depression, can follow a person into early adulthood.
 
In fact, the damage doesn't stop there, a British study published this week in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggests. It actually lasts well into the adults' 40s and 50s. 

"Midlife ... is an important stage in life because that sets in place the process of aging," says Louise Arseneault, a developmental psychologist at King's College London and the study's senior author. "At age 50, if you have physical [and] mental health problems, it could be downhill from here." 

And health isn't the only thing to worry about. Chronic bullying's effect on a person's socioeconomic status, social life and even cognitive function can persist decades later, too, Arseneault's research suggests.

I was a bully. 

The thing was I did not realize it until I was in my early thirties.

I know that sounds a little hard to believe, but it's true.

When I was younger I was pretty passive, for the most part. A few scrapes here and there, nothing serious.

However when I hit my mid teens things took a turn.

Like a lot of teenagers I was full of testosterone driven energy, and conflicted emotions. And I did not know what to do with them.

So I started to workout every day with weights and practice martial arts for hours on end.

Instead of being an outlet for my energy, it instead turned me into a powder keg of aggression.

Though I felt no animosity towards those younger or weaker than myself, for those who I considered my physical equal all it took was one wrong move before fists would be flying.

How I justified that was by focusing on bullies.

My guidelines were if somebody hurt or intimidated others that made it open season on them. All I needed was to catch them in the act, or hear about it from somebody else, and I felt, not only justified, but obligated to "set things right."

By the time I made it to my senior year I got most of it out of my system, and simply coasted through the remainder on my reputation.

In fact my first two serious relationships after high school were somewhat based on this reputation, as the bad boy image I had cultivated was part of what attracted them to me. Even though after I graduated there were very few physical altercations.

It was my third serious relationship after high school where I received my reality check.

This was a thirty year old woman, trained in early childhood education, who was quite unimpressed with hearing about my exploits during my teen years, and after being regaled by my family with story after story, she seemed very pensive and quiet on the drive home.

Later when I asked what was wrong she said that she never knew I was a bully.

I became immediately defensive at that and told her she had it all wrong. I was a GOOD guy.

"Did you beat people up?"

"Well yes sometimes, but.."

"Were students in your school frightened of you?"

"Well maybe a few, but they....."

"Do you think that their fear of you had an effect on their school work, their self esteem, and their emotional health?"

"Well they were bad guys so..."

"If they were bad guys for intimidating those who could not defend themselves, and they could not defend themselves from you, then what does that make you?"

"Well I was...I mean they were....I only....."

Well fuck.

She was right. I HAD actively intimidated people who I identified as bullies, even IF what they had done was fairly minor, and would have sorted itself out with no involvement from me whatsoever.

I simply used their anti-social behaviors as an excuse for MY anti-social behaviors.

To be honest, I was angry at her for making me face that about myself. It meant that I had to go back and reevaluate everything I thought I knew about me.

But in the end I had to recognize the inconvenient truth, I was in fact a bully.

So though I have done a number of good, and selfless things, with my life since then, there is a group of men in their mid fifties who are, right now, walking around with emotional scars that I inflicted.

And you know what? That kind of sucks.

That's not a fish Bristol Palin.

Courtesy of Facebook

Caption: waiting for karate to start

You know I think martial arts training is really good for kids. IF they get a good instructor.

Not sure what the dojo situation is like in Arizona.

By the way I thought I might take this opportunity to reveal that a little birdie told me a certain reality show might play an important part in an upcoming court case.

Hmm, I wonder which parts will be of the most interest to the judge?

Here is your mental health break of the day. Featuring a story about Jackie Chan.

I know this is not a usual topic here, but I am a huge fan of Jackie Chan, and I thought this was a great anecdote.

It also reminds of an incident that happened when I first started training in martial arts.

My instructor was a twenty year old Chinese Kung fu protege from a very rural area of China, who had immigrated to America with his family, and who briefly settled in Alaska for reasons which were never really explained to me.

I have often described him as possibly the MOST moral person I have ever met.  (He was a Taoist, I think.) He refused to eat meat, never injured or killed anything (Not even a mosquito sucking his blood), and when he was insulted he bowed and thanked the person calling him names.

One day while we were training, a fly came in through one of the open basement windows, and he suddenly told me to stop.  I saw the fly and went to swat it, but he caught my arm, and wagged his finger in my face and said, "He has done you no harm. You must return the favor."

For the next several minutes he used quick hand movements to guide the fly back toward the window, never once touching it, until it had flown to safety. Afterward he beamed with pride over his accomplishment and we went right back to work.

Now just to provide contrast I should probably tell you the story of the concrete cinder block,

We found it on one of our bi-weekly runs, and he made me carry it the two miles back to the basement, where he hung it up with a heavy chain from the beam that ran the length of the room. It hung there for a number of days, until one day when he was attempting to explain how to focus one's Chi.

He was trying to explain it to me in his usual broken English, but I could barely understand what the hell he was trying to say, or how it related to my breathing. Suddenly he stopped and held up his finger, a sign to wait, and then walked over the the cinder block.

Suddenly, while standing in a very relaxed stance, his hand shot out and the cinder block exploded, not just broke, but EXPLODED. Afterward all that was left was one side of the block that the chain still managed to maintain in its grip.

You can bet I was suddenly VERY interested in Chi. (Just to answer the obvious question, yes I did manage to develop a comparatively pitiful ability to focus my internal energy, and NO I never was able to break a cinder block. I did break some boards and a brick or two, but the best I could do was to hit the block hard enough to make it swing. That, and render my hand unable to open for about two full days as well. It still aches on cold days.)

Anyhow when martial arts movies became popular I saw all of them, and I do mean ALL of them.

Many of them were quite horrible, but then I discovered Jackie Chan. Even a relatively bad Jackie Chan movie, and there ARE a few, is still a pretty great day at the movies, usually filled with plenty of humor and jaw dropping stunt work.

Strangest video of the day. Senator Ted Stevens participating in martial arts tournament in 1973.

Here is the description:

Nine minute, 23 second, color with sound film clip of a Jhoon Rhee martial arts tournament held in Washington, D.C., or Maryland, probably in 1973. The film depicts a competition between three Republicans and three Democrats, which ended in a tie. Among the politicians featured are Representative Tom Bevill, Senator Quentin Burdick, Representive Flyod Spence, Delegate Walter Fauntroy, and Senator Ted Stevens. This film clip is excerpted fromTSCM-1970-1 of the Ted Stevens Collection held by the Alaska Film Archives, a unit of the Alaska & Polar Regions Department in the Elmer E. Rasmuson Library, University of Alaska Fairbanks.

Wow does watching that take me back or what?

I actually had my first competition in 1972, when Alaska martial arts were still in their infancy.

This 1973 competition was clearly an exhibition, where it was predetermined that there would be no declared winners. Which I am sure is the only way they could have coaxed three Democrats and three Republicans to participate.

It is painful to watch these men attempt a sport that they are clearly not well trained to compete in. The lack of balance and flexibility is especially distracting for me. 

Still I have to hand it to them to put themselves out there like that. Could you even imagine this kind of thing happening today? Somebody would undoubtedly get killed.

The officiator is Jhoon Rhee, who EVERY martial artist from the seventies and eighties knows all too well, because we were all forced to use his Jhoon Rhee Safe-T-Chop gloves and Safe-T-Kick footgear in order to compete. I HATED those crappy things, and must have ripped or split at least six or seven pairs of them over the years. (I once punched my way right out of a pair of Safe-T-Chops during a competition.)

I just have to add that during this time, even though I was only twelve or thirteen, I successfully competed against full grown men, and I would have DESTROYED Uncle Ted Stevens in a competition. I'm just saying.

(H/T to the Alaska Dispatch.)

Your Sunday evening moment of Zen

I don't post about it very much but one of my great passions is studying the history of Martial Arts. Especially in China.

I started training when I was the same age as this boy in the video. Though unlike him I was all Caucasian and clumsy.

However my teacher was a very patient man and he really brought out the best in me.

I owe him a great deal, and his lessons still guide my actions to this very day.

Anybody who believes that Chinese martial arts is all about kicking and punching could not be more wrong, and I respectfully suggest that they watch this video a few times until they are enlightened as to the beauty of Gung Fu.

Namaste.

This is not "Martial Arts" and these parents should be charged with child abuse.

I don't even know where to begin to express my outrage at this garbage.

For one thing I think this MMA is total bullshit. It is the lowest form of fighting competition in my eyes. The idea of pummeling your already supine opponent until they are unconscious, tap out, or the fight is stopped by the officials is barbaric to me.

And I am not exactly a neophyte to this type of aggressive activity.

I trained in the Martial Arts when I was very young and competed before I was in my teens. I even competed against adults. But we had rules and guidelines which ensured that the injuries to either combatant would be slight.

Even in real conflicts outside of the purview of referees and adults I knew that when my opponent hit the ground I was to stop hitting them. There is difference between a Martial Artist and a thug.

I have taught adult men, and women, and children the beauty of the Martial Arts. I taught them to understand and expand the limitations of their bodies, to understand the power of breath, and to rejoice in the stretching and strengthening benefits of the complex movements. I taught them to only use the amount of force necessary to achieve victory, and to recognize when their opponent cannot go on.

These people have taken away any sense of art and replaced it with simple brutality. I know that the past masters of the Martial Arts would be ashamed. I know I am.